Star Trek: Enterprise
"A Night in Sickbay"
Air date: 10/16/2002
Written by Rick Berman & Brannon Braga
Directed by David Straiton
Review by Jamahl Epsicokhan
"You know, this isn't some guinea pig you're working on here. This is Porthos, my beagle, my pal. And from what you're telling me, the closest thing your people have to pets are furry little things that go well with onions."
"Perhaps you're right, captain. Perhaps I'm insensitive to the bond between you and your subservient quadruped. I'll leave the procedure up to you. But whatever your decision, make it quickly."— Archer (absurd nonsense), Phlox (perfect response)
In brief: This one's really a dog. I said "dog." Get it? Porthos? Dog? Ha! I kill me. But I should've killed me before this episode aired. Okay, better stop now before the "in brief" becomes too long to be considered brief. "Long." I said "long." Hee hee. I bet Archer would really like to be "briefed" by T'Pol. While in his "briefs." And only his "briefs." And only staying "briefly" in his "briefs" before he's no longer in his "briefs." Heh heh heh heh heh...
Ah, here we are at last, the bona fide uber-loser, an episode bereft of ... well, anything and everything resembling content.
Okay, it's not bereft of dumbness. There's plenty of that, since this is easily the dumbest concept for an episode of Star Trek since Voyager's holodeck was hijacked by the residents of Fair Haven (see "Spirit Folk," or, on second thought, don't).
Evidently, the writers are not treating this as season two of a series, but rather season nine (or later) of an aging dinosaur. An episode all about the captain's goddamned dog you'd think would be reserved as desperate sitcom fodder for the latter seasons, not brought to light as episode #5 in season two. You'd be wrong, but you could think it. Whatever.
"A Night in Sickbay" succeeds not only in being unfunny, pathetic, and dull, but also manages to elevate character assassination and embarrassing nonsense to a kind of grand efficiency. It manages to make a mockery of Archer, T'Pol, Phlox, and an entire unknown alien culture in a shade under 45 minutes plus commercials. You could count Porthos in that list as well (who has his pituitary gland replaced with that of a lizard's), except for the fact that ... well, he's a freaking DOG, for crying out loud. In other words, NOT A CHARACTER. On a series where Ensign Mayweather's biggest contribution in remembered history is to be presumed dead in last week's "Dead Stop," who in the world gives a care about Archer's stupid beagle? Hint: Not me. (Note: You are forbidden to argue in favor of this episode on the grounds that you are a dog lover. Dog lovers may certainly argue, but they may not make the fact they are dog lovers the principal basis of their argument. So, nyaaah.)
Here is the plot (I mean "plot"): Archer & Co. return from a botched diplomatic away mission on an alien world. Archer finds out Porthos contracted a disease while on the planet. (Did I mention that Porthos was included on the away team? And that I find that to be hopelessly inane?) Archer gets real mad, because the aliens should've warned him that Porthos might get sick (the inconsiderate bastards). Archer then spends a night in sickbay holding vigil over poor little Porthos, who could possibly die if Phlox can't find a way to treat him. (Pardon me while I grab a Kleenex.)
But wait; there's more. While in sickbay, Phlox tries to get to the bottom of Archer's foul mood (apart from his sick dog) and commences psychological deconstruction. Phlox determines that the captain is suffering from sexual tension in regard to T'Pol and is lashing out at her as a result. (That's all we need — sexual-harassment issues aboard the starship Enterprise. Whee.)
Archer is appalled at this notion, but in perfectly scripted/telegraphed/lame self-fulfilling prophecy fashion, he then has Freudian slips involving the words "breast" and "lips" when talking with T'Pol, in front of Hoshi for added comically hilarious embarrassment, ha ha. Later he has a dream where the crew attends a dark and rainy funeral for Porthos, which is followed by some Archer/T'Pol action (yes, that kind of action) that should under no circumstances have been allowed past the first story break meeting, lest it actually find its way into a real-life script and, God forbid, actually end up filmed and edited and viewed and inevitably compared to bad fan fiction.
This tracks with little of what we've seen before concerning Archer and T'Pol's relationship, which has never hinted at anything beyond pure professionalism and a developing captain/first-officer trust. Look no further than, say, "Shadows of P'Jem," where they're tied up together and you see absolutely nothing in terms of a sexual component. Nope, the notion here is glib sexuality scripted out of nowhere, doubtlessly motivated to satisfy UPN demographics, and I don't buy it for a minute.
Oh well, at least it's only a dream.
But there's also two iterations here (one real, one dreamt) on the Decontamination Chamber Rub-Down Scene™, where T'Pol gives Archer a rub-down while Archer gives Porthos a rub-down. Eyebrows are raised. You know what they say: Sometimes a beagle is just a beagle. But other times... (Wink, wink, nudge, nudge, har-de-har-har!)
Should I even mention the scene where Archer and Phlox are running around sickbay with nets, trying to catch an escaped bat-like creature? It leads to Phlox falling down, ha ha, and getting some sort of strange goop spilled on him, hee hee. How about the scene where Phlox cuts his toenails, or where he (I think) shaves his 8-inch tongue? That Darn Denobulan and his crazy hijinks! (Cue canned laughter.)
It's a testament to John Billingsley's abilities that Phlox manages to remain a consistently watchable and affable persona, despite the script's best efforts to humiliate him (and everyone else). It's grace under pressure, dignity maintained in an atmosphere that warrants none. Consider the scene where Porthos' condition takes a turn for the worse and Phlox suggests a risky and desperate treatment. Archer, acting like an idiot, regards Phlox with an inexplicable confrontational attitude that flies in the face of reason (Phlox is obviously brilliant, so why not let him do his job to save your dog?). Phlox responds with a calm appeal to logic that is absolutely priceless, revealing Archer as the fool he is.
Any attempt to look seriously at events in this story (not recommended) only reveal how badly the writers mangle Archer's character into that of a selfish hothead. He says things that are completely based on irrational emotion rather than any reasoned thought or consideration. He's angry with the alien society because they weren't thorough enough in determining the risk to Porthos in their environment. Because they are arrogant and anal-retentive. Because they would have the audacity to take offense at Porthos urinating on one of their sacred trees. They, they, they. How about you, John? There's all this reckless anger and overstated ranting and raving and selfishness (all because Archer took his dog on an away mission!), and all I'm thinking is: This is the commander of the human race's first grand mission into deep space? Grow the hell up, stop being so petty, and take some responsibility for your own actions.
Just ridiculous.
Not that the aliens are of much help. They're equally annoying, with hokey makeup and absurd "customs." The crisis of diplomacy is solved with a ritual that employs the corniest aspects of Star Trek alien-society cliché. The episode apparently finds offbeat humor in the notion of a chainsaw, I guess because chainsaws have never been seen on Trek before (and why would they?).
All in all, this episode meets the criteria for the what-were-they-thinking hall-of-shame show. Porthos had better not be the basis for a story on this series again. Ever.
Tune in next week, folks, for "A Night in the Crapper," when the crew visits an alien planet and returns with mass dysentery! I can't wait! No, I mean, I really can't wait! Vacate the bathroom at once! Har har har har har...
(Door slams.)
(Flatulence.)
Next week: A rerun of "Shockwave, Part II," oddly billed by the trailer as an episode of "Star Trek: Enterprise," in what is obviously a brilliant new UPN marketing strategy. (With any luck, the week off should give me a chance to review Tuesday's upcoming 2-disc DVD release of "Star Trek III: The Search for Spock.")
115 comments on this post
Sat, Sep 15, 2007, 2:41pm (UTC -6)
Mon, Apr 7, 2008, 9:08pm (UTC -6)
Sun, Jul 20, 2008, 6:27pm (UTC -6)
Sun, Oct 5, 2008, 12:27am (UTC -6)
However, this episode is a complete mess/disaster. I largely agree with the things you pointed out in your review. I was particularly annoyed by the "sexual tension"-theme, the writers conjured up. Bah!
Tue, Nov 11, 2008, 4:45pm (UTC -6)
However, it started having this strange effect on me. Kind of like a tub of ice cream. You know it's bad for you, that it will rot your teeth out, but you start eating it anyway. And I started to get a thrill out of watching this show just for its comedy. Some of the humor is intentional and a lot of it isn't. Yes, it panders to adolescents, but I started to enjoy it just for itself on its own terms. And it offers a humorous look at a "day in the life on the Enterprise". What it must be like to travel with these people for years. Getting used to their quirks (Phlox with his grooming habits was hilarious.) And the pent-up sexuality. I mean, come on, who hasn't fantasized about a coworker?
I put this episode right up there with Spock's Brain. Fun to watch and forget about tomorrow.
Sat, Oct 17, 2009, 9:45am (UTC -6)
Wed, Feb 17, 2010, 12:42pm (UTC -6)
Tue, Jun 22, 2010, 1:32am (UTC -6)
Fri, Jul 9, 2010, 7:56am (UTC -6)
Fri, Jul 9, 2010, 8:45am (UTC -6)
Sun, Aug 8, 2010, 9:20am (UTC -6)
Sat, Aug 14, 2010, 12:42am (UTC -6)
"I would have liked to see Porthos as the chief engineer."
hahaha... I'm still laughing at that!
Mon, Nov 8, 2010, 4:39am (UTC -6)
But to be fair, the show can be an allegory on how to deal with sexual attraction issues at the workplace. It has some value.
As far as vulcans go, I kind of like the way they are portrayed. It's new. The dog is stupid.
A lifelong TOS fan, I never watched any other series except this. At least its about exploration. And I like Trip. But I wish it wasn't so dumb-down and TV-ish, and Tpols lips arre horrific. On the other hand, I'm hungry for anything Trek. But we all have different expectations, and we can't expect that a TV series will thread the needle every time like JJ Abrahms did.
I wonder if a new TV series will be done.
Wed, Nov 24, 2010, 6:23am (UTC -6)
Now, having finally seen it, I can honestly say that no review can quite do justice to all the "WTF?!?!?" moments in this episode. This episode surpasses horrible, blows through unintentionally funny and then finally lands somewhere in between watching a train wreck and laughing at someone falling down a stairwell. For example, I did laugh during parts of this episode. But, it was more the kind of evil laugh one might make after watching someone they hate get punched in the face than a "oh, that's funny." laugh. You know it's wrong, but you do it anyway. Or maybe it was a laugh to keep from crying thing. I'm not sure.
This episode was packed with "WTF just happened?!? Did Archer really just say that?!?" moments. As many of my previous posts have stated, I can't stand Captain Archer. I feel like he's behaved like a petulant child since day one. So, this episode didn't really destroy his character for me. If anything, this episode was the aforementioned punch in the face I'd been waiting for. Sure, Archer didn't actually get punched in this episode. But, they sure did kill what was left of his character. This episode was the writing equivilant to a punch in the face, as far as I'm concerned.
As for Jammer's obvious dislike of Porthos, I say leave the dog alone! He's about the only thing that makes Archer seem semi-competent. It amazes me that Archer is able to take care of that dog. He has not impressed me with his ability to take care of anything else. Plus, come on, the dog is cute. The shots of Porthos were about the only part of this episode that weren't painful to watch.
What was T'Pol trying to say in that last scene? Was she interested? Is Phlox a huge gossip who leaked everything to T'Pol and gave her time to concoct a suitably vulcan sounding, sexually ambiguous response to Archer's blathering? Can someone please erase the horrible vision of that dream sequence from my head forever?
Also, man, Phlox got some good lines in this one. I loved it when he pointed out that Archer had insulted his whole species. Please Phlox, school this douche in diplomacy!
I agree with Chase. In a weird way, this episode does remind me a little of Spock's Brain in how outrageously awful it is. It's all so random and Archer comes off as such a deranged lunatic (for example, that disturbing line in the beginning when Archer says that if Porthos dies he's going to "show them what being offended is all about!" Ummm...) that I almost can't even take this seriously enough to truly hate. Almost.
For some reason that I am still trying to fathom, I am going to keep watching this show and pray that it eventually gets better. Maybe I secretly enjoy weeks of lifeless mediocrity punctuated by moments of true suffering like this. Perhaps I'm becoming a Star Trek masochist over here. If this thing doesn't get better real soon though, I may just call it quits.
Tue, Nov 30, 2010, 12:09am (UTC -6)
Uwe Böll is a better screenwriter than Berman & Braga.
Nuff said.
Carbetarian wrote:
"For some reason that I am still trying to fathom, I am going to keep watching this show and pray that it eventually gets better." (Me too, except I've abandoned that hope long ago. I'm just doing it to complete my ST marathon).
"Maybe I secretly enjoy weeks of lifeless mediocrity punctuated by moments of true suffering like this. Perhaps I'm becoming a Star Trek masochist over here." (Same here)
"If this thing doesn't get better real soon though, I may just call it quits." (NO! Please DON'T! Don't leave me alone watching this thing! I don't think I may survive!)
P.S. for anyone who missed it, here's the link to the review Carbetarian just mentioned. It's truly the only way to make this episode entertaining...
www.agonybooth.com/recaps/Star_Trek/Enterprise/A_Night_in_Sickbay.aspx
I'll throw in www.firsttvdrama.com/enterprise/e32.php3 for good measure.
Fri, Jul 22, 2011, 4:26pm (UTC -6)
I dunno, it had its moments - Archer seemed to get some much needed maturity / character growth, for one. It was far from perfect and very very silly at times (not funny, just silly, like DS9's Ferengi stuff) but come on, the main star (Porthos) got an episode dedicated to him. I can't stay mad, I can't even get mad :3
Not a character.. poor Porthos.. don't listen to the big bad reviewer, boy. And well done for peeing on those trees.
Mon, Aug 1, 2011, 9:11pm (UTC -6)
The only thing I didn't like was the bat-thing part...seemed unnecessary.
Fri, Aug 19, 2011, 7:35pm (UTC -6)
Wed, Oct 26, 2011, 5:00pm (UTC -6)
This episode was even more awful than the Voyager episode where Tom and Janeway were evolved into something else (a salamander thing, I dont want to remember) and did mate together... oh well...
What the hell did the writers had in mind while writing this stuff?
Mon, Jan 30, 2012, 9:13pm (UTC -6)
Fri, Jun 22, 2012, 6:53pm (UTC -6)
Sun, Jul 15, 2012, 10:15pm (UTC -6)
I also rolled my eyes at the Hoshi-->T'Pol-->Archer-->Porthos rubdown scene.
Really? An episode that focuses on developing the character of the ****ing dog? And also managed to murder the character of Archer and make him more unlikable than Wesley Crusher?
Gee... here is an alien culture that is very easily offended and we need something from them. Let's go down there. I'll need my communications officer to communicate. I'll need my science officer for her wisdom. And I'll also need my dog so he can shed, s***, and p*** all over the place. No chance of anything going wrong here.
This episode was horrible, and 1-star was a very generous and forgiving rating.
I would have given it negative 1/2 star for damaging Archer's character.
Thu, Aug 2, 2012, 12:44am (UTC -6)
One of the few that I've never seen before but did catch a few bits of it awhile back and that's all I need. Unlike Carbon Creek, I feel no need to delve into the dogshit. The bits I saw and remember and your rather witty review covers it for me. I can't truly rate it without seeing it all the way through but one star seems right. Only for the one shred of decency in it and thats the dog. He deserves his own trailer for putting up with this crap.
Thu, Aug 2, 2012, 12:51am (UTC -6)
Thu, Aug 2, 2012, 11:30pm (UTC -6)
Thu, Oct 18, 2012, 7:48pm (UTC -6)
In all previous Star Trek series I don't remember any Vulcans dressing as scantily as T'Pol. This series reminds me of the bad Hulk movie in contrast to the good Hulk movie.
I am only continuing to watch this series out of curiosity. I saw cosplay Andorians at Dragon*Con this year and felt mortified being a Star Trek fan but did know who those blue aliens with antennas were.
Thu, Oct 18, 2012, 7:50pm (UTC -6)
Tue, Nov 6, 2012, 11:44am (UTC -6)
Wed, Dec 12, 2012, 9:40am (UTC -6)
1 star.
Mon, Feb 4, 2013, 7:01pm (UTC -6)
You wonder what must have been going on in their minds. They often come up with good ideas and squander them in a most appalling way. They create characters behaving like fools without consequence yet insert others with sensible logic. Like Archer and T'Pol discussing on the treadmill, or Archer and Phlox in sickbay over a dog and onions.
Both T'Pol and Phlox point out what an idiot Archer is. These dialogs are written by the same people who transform Archer in a raving idiot with his own shitty dialog. Written by the same writers. It's flabbergasting.
This episode could have shown the development towards a next step in interspecies relations. Phlox learning from the reaction of his captain how important animals can be as pets - while eating other animals at the same time, learning a bit more about their emotional state. All he does is being right and all-knowing, unto diagnosing sexual tension between a human and a Vulcan. I would have liked it if here were shown dead wrong.
Archer could be irritated over T'Pols logic. Logic he hates because he hates Vulcans, yet he realizes that they always do have a valid point being the experienced space travelers and humans being the immature rookies.
Archer could well give stupid answers, only to explain later that he knew how stupid his reactions were, but that his annoyance about T'Pol being dead right took over. That is very human.
A captain telling his first officer that he said some stupid things could be countered by T'Pol that she - thanks to those very reaction - learned a lot about human pride. She could even have said that she needed to rethink her strategy how she should counter human reasoning that's obviously and blatantly wrong. Say the lesson about _being_ right and being _put_ in the right.
It could have been an episode about characters developing, understanding each other a bit better and growing towards each other, an episode about growing mutual understanding; about learning curves, just with these very ingredients the writers deliberately chose themselves.
It became an episode about a horny teenager who forgot to jack off the day before. Sorry for the language, but I fail to understand that people with the potential and ideas to write a good script always end up on Enterprise with half baked endings or - worse - juvenile, stupid sex.
Sat, May 18, 2013, 11:11pm (UTC -6)
There is no way this episode is as bad as Spock's Brain! Give me a break. That episode had NO redeeming qualities at all.
Fri, Aug 16, 2013, 5:49pm (UTC -6)
The dream scene was amusing too.
It really wasn't SO awful. I think Jammer and the other critics have been unduly harsh.
Archer has a dog. Get over it! It's not a ship full of prodigies, and thank the gods for that....
Tue, Aug 20, 2013, 4:08pm (UTC -6)
As Tiarfe sensibly pointed out, this episode is about Archer rather than Porthos. It's also a (light-hearted) story about the Captain overcoming his pride and admitting:
a) he's not right all the time, and
b) he's only human and, therefore, open to the same emotions that we all are. (Let's be honest - Picard, Sisko and Janeway never suffered from this problem, which is why they're such flat, two-dimensional characters.)
I suspect one of the reasons why this episode remains so unloved in Star Trek fandom is its out-and-out comedic value. 'Modern' Star Trek (Next Generation, Deep Space Nine and Voyager) shied away from humour for fear of their stock of inherited story-conventions (AKA cliches) and
limited chraracterization becoming a laughing stock: Enterprise, rather like the revived Doctor Who, wasn't afraid of this and was clearly comfortable enough drawing attention to these tropes from time to time.
Whether this episode is funny or not, that depends on your sense of humour. (Laughter, like an erection, is largely involuntary and down to the individual who experiences it to determine the pleasure factor.) I feel the Hugo board chose this episode for its sheer audacity to explore the humourous character-driven possibilities Enterprise has to offer, and that fans turn their tails and run whenever "A Night in Sickbay" is mentioned simply because it attempts to incorporate a sense of self-aware humour into the franchise that doesn't try to butter up the hardcore fans.
Mon, Sep 23, 2013, 11:43pm (UTC -6)
Sun, Jan 5, 2014, 1:11pm (UTC -6)
And while I have nothing against Porthos at all, I realized that I find it rally, really hard to believe that the captain of humankind's first deep space mission, would take along his DOG and that he would take said dog along on outings to new planets.
Phlox was good though. I didn't like him at first but he's turning into a favorite character.
Tue, Jan 14, 2014, 9:09pm (UTC -6)
Other than that, I liked it. It would've been pretty good if it hadn't been for Archer's teenage behavior. The scenes and the writing related to T'Pol were fairly amusing and interesting to a ceratain degree.
Wed, Jan 15, 2014, 11:07am (UTC -6)
One important point about this episode is that it was the first episode of a lot of crap in season 2. "Shockwave, Part 2," "Minefield" and "Deadstop" were all pretty good and "Carbon Creek" -- while not one of my favorites -- is at least interesting and memorable.
After "A Night in Sickbay", the next 10 episodes are either awful or totally forgettable, with the possible exception of "Vanishing Point." There are a few good episodes in the season's final third ("Regeneration", "Cogenitor", "Judgment", and "Future Tense"). And I thought Jammer was too hard on "Bounty".
But it isn't any wonder that the creators shook things up in a major way after season 2.
Wed, Jan 15, 2014, 1:10pm (UTC -6)
Wed, Mar 12, 2014, 2:25am (UTC -6)
However, I don't believe the show got really terrible until A Night in Sickbay. It is by far the worst episode up until this point. There is no worse.
This episode single-handedly assassinates whatever was left of Johnathon Archer's character. It takes the worst qualities of his character and amplifies them to the max. What should have happened was a steady growth of his character to become more like the captains we expect, but after an episode like this, there is just no going back. The damage is done.
After watching this, I gotta say, the Vulcans at the end of Shockwave, Part 2 were right. These humans have no business in space.
Wed, May 7, 2014, 9:18pm (UTC -6)
Sun, Jun 8, 2014, 2:50pm (UTC -6)
Tue, Jul 29, 2014, 11:49pm (UTC -6)
Tue, Sep 30, 2014, 3:44pm (UTC -6)
If this is the "breast" Enterprise has to offer, the lineup to punch Archer will just get longer.
Wed, Oct 15, 2014, 11:26am (UTC -6)
Wed, Oct 15, 2014, 2:41pm (UTC -6)
But really? You'd think that this episode removed the need for star ships...
Just the simple fact that this episode has a dog in it means it is better that 10 other crap ST episodes.
:-)
Thu, Oct 16, 2014, 12:07pm (UTC -6)
*slingshots around the sun*
*erases this episode from history*
*slingshots back around sun*
Enough said.
Sun, Nov 2, 2014, 2:31pm (UTC -6)
Ultimately, Archer apologizes again and again and comes across as a very sincere and ethical man. And nothing he did in this episode was so egregiously terrible in the first place that we should think him some sort of awful person.
His decision to bring the dog to the away mission was his biggest error, but he does explain his logic for making that decision. (1) The dog only gets so many opportunities to get off the ship. 2) The aliens had no issue with him bringing the pet, knowing what it was.
Frankly, while it's important for him to be self aware of the consequences of his decisions and apologize for those consequences, his actions are completely understandable. The aliens were being insensitive by not warning the captain of the threat that their environment posed to the dog. Further, from the last episode with this species (Vox Sola) it is clear that these aliens are ridiculously sensitive. Archer never gets angry at them about any of this, he instead apologizes for his part of the problem. His only error really is in hesitating to do so because he was frustrated with them about the aforementioned issues.
I also agree with Richard that there must be something about this brand self-aware humor in the context of a Star Trek episode that makes some people uncomfortable. Perhaps, people feel that these characters should be above ordinary personal flaws because they represent the first flagship of Starfleet. But, personally I think reflective, gentle humor can offer us perspective on our own emotions. People are vulnerable and imperfect in my view; this is a fact of our lives we would be wise to accept rather than try to hide.
Fans seem to prefer shows like Tinker Tenor Doctor Spy on Voyager that make fun of the doctor's personal issues, while at the same time separating them from his professional assets. In this episode, the line between Archer's personal flaws and his personal skills is blurred. They are almost indistinguishable sometimes. This to me is more insightful.
Finally, Archer's relationship to his dog is touching in my view, and not absurd as some people seem to think.
Overall, I wouldn't call it a great episode, but I think it's a very good one.
Sun, Nov 2, 2014, 2:46pm (UTC -6)
I try not to be overly formal in more casual forums like this, but sometimes I become too self conscious and feel like I have to use more formal language anyway when communicating in a public arena.
Lastly, I should have added, anyone is entitled to their own opinion. If people don't like this episode they are certainly entitled to that point of view.
Sun, Nov 2, 2014, 3:01pm (UTC -6)
When I said:
"Archer never gets angry at them about any of this, he instead apologizes for his part of the problem. His only error really is in hesitating to do so because he was frustrated with them about the aforementioned issues."
I want to make clear I am not saying he made only one error in this episode. I meant that his only error in his apology to the aliens was that he hesitated to so in the first place. But, his hesitation is explained by the events of the episode (from Archer's perspective), as well as the events of the episode Vox Sola. (Oh, and cough, there should be a semicolon after this. OK I'm being weird, sorry.)
Mon, Dec 29, 2014, 5:19pm (UTC -6)
I don't think comedy episodes like this, the various DS9 Ferengi ones, etc. are really supposed to be considered as having "really happened" within the context of the more serious series story arcs. Thus, comments about "character assassination" and such are really over-dramatizing the situation.
Sun, Feb 8, 2015, 9:36pm (UTC -6)
See whatcha think.
Cheers
Wed, Mar 11, 2015, 11:15pm (UTC -6)
Too many leaps of logic for me to overcome, starting with the premise that a highly intelligent Starship Captain would take a dog on a delicate diplomatic mission to repair an already fraught relationship with an easily offended alien species. Agree with Jammer that Billingsley deserves a medal for keeping a straight face during this adolescent fiasco.
Gratuitoius decomtamination scene? Check. Silly dream sequence? Check. Dubious to unbeleviable charaterization? Check. Unrelated random pysical comedy that fails? Check. Dumb witless resolution tacked on as an afterthought? Check.
Tue, May 19, 2015, 10:42pm (UTC -6)
Sat, Jun 6, 2015, 3:05pm (UTC -6)
I don't know I just liked the culture play.
As for the sexual tension... meh. Every single actor on this show is gorgeous. From the beginning the producers were selling sex and not just star trek.
Wed, Jul 8, 2015, 9:17pm (UTC -6)
Fri, Jul 24, 2015, 9:45pm (UTC -6)
Bringing Porthos to the surface was dumb, but dog lovers tend to take their dogs places when it would be more practical to leave them home.
I thought much of the stuff witb Phlox in sickbay was pretty funny.
The only part I didn't like was all the sexual tension with T'Pol talk, because I didn't see any of this in the prior 29 episodes. It seemed to me the only sexual tension was between T'Pol and Trip.
I would give it 2 stars.
Fri, Jul 24, 2015, 9:50pm (UTC -6)
My rankings:
1) Porthos
2) Spot
3) Chester (The O'Brien's adopted cat)
4) Neelix
Tue, Jul 28, 2015, 7:42am (UTC -6)
Thu, Aug 6, 2015, 1:00am (UTC -6)
Utterly ridiculous episode. I was actually *somewhat* fine with the notion of sexual tension, because hell, it certainly happens in constant proximity like that, but the rest of this epsiode was just pure rubbish. A little sexual frustration doesn't turn you into a raving, self-centered lunatic who is completely out of control with his feelings and actions.
And then the embarrasing attempts at humor that wasted out the rest of the episode...just awful.
Fri, Nov 20, 2015, 1:50pm (UTC -6)
Sun, Jan 3, 2016, 9:25pm (UTC -6)
Wed, Mar 9, 2016, 10:07pm (UTC -6)
Mon, Apr 11, 2016, 2:30pm (UTC -6)
As others have noted, by turning all of Archer's worst aspects - aspects I thought they'd shed early in the first season but which seem to be returning now - up to 11 they make him a singularly unsympathetic character. The sexual tension thing comes out of nowhere and seems only to excuse not one by two decon scenes - and again, naked flesh seems high on the agenda this season with Hoshi's shirtless appearance, T'Pol's naked behind the sheet changing, and Mayweather's shirt off too (one for the ladies to keep things balanced, clearly).
And the bat scene may be the single worst moment in Trek history. Dire. 1 star.
Fri, May 6, 2016, 4:31am (UTC -6)
I guess that speaks to both how hated this episode is and how forgettable most find Vox Sola. (Though I liked it for how all the main crew contribute to solving the problem. Like an actual team, doing their jobs.) But hey, at least we got continuity! =D
Wed, Jun 8, 2016, 11:31pm (UTC -6)
Fri, Jul 1, 2016, 8:25pm (UTC -6)
Archer acts like a whiny child the whole episode and wants to hate fuck T'pol out of nowhere thats pretty much the whole episode plus odd couple slapstick with Phlox.
@Nolan yeah it was nice seeing a species they had just met before. If only they used the episode to develop them instead of watching Archer and Phlox chase a bat. or Archer just complaining about them to whoever he could find.
I actually found Hoshi to be the 1 redeeming thing about this episode not only does she ask how Porthos is doing. But she also catches the bat thing one handed. well that and she looks much better in the decon chamber than T'pol.
0.5 stars at least in Hatchery Archer had an excuse for being crazy.
Wed, Jul 20, 2016, 8:09pm (UTC -6)
If nothing else, there is some pretty funny stuff here. Hoshi catching the bat, etc.
I'm a dog lover. Ours is every bit as much a part of the family as is everyone else. This is Archer's companion. I felt his pain in this one.
Eli - thanks for posting some great insight into this episode.
Classic? No, but an enjoyable episode. I'll go 2.5 stars.
Mon, Sep 19, 2016, 4:57am (UTC -6)
I love dogs and I could've potentially seen a decent episode that was centered around Porthos, but.. not like this. Anything but this!
For one, we have Archer acting in a way that makes him appear extremely unlikable. I would be upset too if my dog was in this situation, but the way that the writers conveyed Archer during this episode was beyond silly. I was very disappointed in his snippy, child-like responses to everyone. This is the Captain of this ship? "You need to get your priorities straight." Yeah, no joke T'Pol.
Speaking of T'Pol and Archer.... no. Just, no. Juvenile, silly and very poorly handled. Good God.
The very few "highlights" of this one include Hoshi catching the bat and more of Phlox's backstory.
1 star seems about right for this little gem of an episode, but this almost feels like a zero at times.... well done, Braga and Berman.
Thu, Sep 22, 2016, 3:09am (UTC -6)
Fri, Oct 7, 2016, 2:03am (UTC -6)
Archer's character had seemed to me to have been written as that of a self-entitled 12-year-old, so arguably this episode showed he'd matured a year or 2. But it was very silly.
I did like the bit where Archer spoke to T'Pol about the "tension" and she gave him a verbal slap, but other than that pretty bad.
It also annoys me when Archer talks about how "Porthos needs fresh air as well". Yeah, how many crew members are there? And how many of them get 'fresh air'?
The decontamination zone is getting annoying for its use as a plot device.
Tue, Dec 20, 2016, 6:05am (UTC -6)
The script felt like it was written to be played much lighter than it actually was. If instead of Archer it was a character like Neelix or Quark getting upset after THEIR dog had urinated on someone else's sacred trees I think it could have worked as a lighter comedy.
Because it was Archer, it was treated more seriously which made it feel more absurd. If the writers/actors had just winked at the audience a bit and said "we know this is stupid" it wouldn't have seemed as stupid.
Tue, Dec 27, 2016, 11:06am (UTC -6)
I'm continually amazed he not only made it through Starfleet Academy, but that he was given a command - and a pioneering one at that. He makes Kirk, even in his worst moments, seem like Picard. It doesn't add up that he would not have been relieved of command by now.
Take this easily-offended alien race. We saw them in an earlier episode where they took great offence because humans ate a meal in front of them. Yes, that's ridiculous, but as a captain on a diplomatic mission, Archer isn't empowered to do anything other than play into their ridiculous standards. So, given that they regard eating as extremely personal or private, how in the world would he imagine it would be okay to bring a dog -- a creature that unselfconsciously exhibits all sorts of bodily functions? And how could none of his officers not counsel him to wait till the next planet to take Porthos for a walk?
If the writers had implied that Archer had deliberately brought along the dog as a way of saying f-you to a race of incredibly uptight and priggish aliens, I could live with that, however I'll-advised. I'd understand his motive, at least. But Archer seemed surprised when things went badly, which suggests he and his crew are just stupid.
Then there's the sexual tension stuff. While T'Pol is definitely a very attractive woman, why does she feel the need to wear a skin-tight, non-issue uniform at all times? Hoshi is also beautiful, yet she doesn't feel the need to throw it in everyone's face at all times. I will accept that T'Pol, who presumably only mates once every seven years like other Vulcans, doesn't get that her dress choice might be inappropriate, but how does no one else on the ship clue her in?
Even TOS, which had producers that pushed to have all female crew move from pants to mini-skirt uniforms when the two pilots (The Cage and Where No Man Has Gone Before) became a regular series --I'm sure as a sop to horny male potential viewers-- realized that there's a certain level of professionalism and decorum required on a starship: and that was in the mid-60's! Along comes T'Pol, and it's as if the preceding decades of women's liberation never occurred.
Tue, Jan 10, 2017, 11:45am (UTC -6)
Thu, Jan 19, 2017, 11:41am (UTC -6)
Sat, Feb 18, 2017, 12:59am (UTC -6)
Sun, Feb 26, 2017, 10:05pm (UTC -6)
First, I'll acknowledge the bad stuff:
*Archer taking his dog along was certainly foolish
*Archer's Freudian slips are dumb
*I really don't need to see Phlox clipping his toe nails.
Some things in it's favor:
*I did enjoy the "day in the life of Phlox" part of the show. Phlox was shown as intelligent and perceptive while still eccentric. A good foil for the captain when he was saying stupid things. While I didn't really laugh out loud at the humor in sickbay, I found it mostly pleasant (toe nail clippings aside).
*The Freudian slips were dumb and the dream pointless, but Archer realizing that he has an attraction and dealing with it was an act of maturity.
*Archer certainly was foolish to blame the aliens for what happened to his dog. But, we never actually saw him act foolish to the aliens himself. He was saying these dumb things to his crew-members (mostly to his first officer), knowing it wasn't going to be repeated to the aliens themselves. I think he subconsciously knows he's being an idiot, but isn't going to stop and ponder it while he's stressed worrying about his dog and the ship isn't in any danger. Aside from the sexual frustration, I would have liked Archer to come to the realization that he lets the stresses of the job build up inside of him, and then he lashes out at his Vulcan officer because he knows she can take it in stride. That doesn't make him the greatest leader, but it does make him an understandable human.
Again, it doesn't get a passing mark, but every Trek series has many worse episodes.
Sat, Mar 25, 2017, 6:07am (UTC -6)
Let's review that major - and I stress "major" because there are plenty more - problems with this episode....
1.) Why the hell should I care about Porthos? First off, I'm a cat person not a dog person. But you know what? If there was an episode that focused on Data taking Spot to some planet and Spot getting sick, I still wouldn't care. Because a character's pet shouldn't be the damn focus of an entire episode! They actually did have Spot be the focus of half an episode - "Force of Nature" - and it was crap too!
2.) Why does Archer even take Porthos to the planet in the first place? Here he is, faced with visiting a planet of people he knows, from first-hand experience, that are more easily offended than even the most out-there, lunatic, trigger-warning-happy, modern Progressive Social Justice Warriors and he takes his freaking dog on the visit! Yeah, Jon, there's simply no way that could cause trouble. *facepalm*
3.) ARCHER: "Well, maybe if they'd bothered to read the genetic profile we sent..." Are you freaking kidding me?! Dipshit, a genetic profile isn't going to tell these people that dogs like to piss on trees!
4.) So, apparently Archer is a trained diplomat. I think this is the first time that's ever been revealed. How does he handle this diplomatic situation? By acting like a petulant jerk. Brilliant! Here's a quick tip for the writers - if you want us to believe a character is diplomatic, don't have him respond to a diplomatic situation by acting like a blowhard and a moron. You don't barge into someone else's house, start throwing your weight around, tell them what's what, act like a prideful buffoon and call it "diplomacy".
5.) So apparently Archer really, really wants to get into T'Pol's Vulcan panties. And, apparently, T'Pol might - possibly - want to let him unlock that achievement. Where in the actual fuck did this come from?! Jammer is right in that there has been precisely ZERO sexual tension or subtext between these two characters up until now. Even when T'Pol's breasts accidentally ended up in Archer's face back in "Shadows of P'Jem" there was no hint of sexual tension from either of them! Damn, and I thought the sexual subtext between Janeway and Chakotay was limited. This is practically non-existent.
6.) The Kreetassans. There's being humorously arrogant and then there's this. These people are so uptight and offense-prone that even if the episode was capable of being funny they would suck it all down the drain. If you're going to crank something up to 11 and beyond, make sure it's worth it.
Wow, even as a fan of ENT and of Archer as a character, this crap is awful. God bless John Billingsley, because Phlox is the only legitimately worthwhile part of this train wreck. His discussion with Archer about his family was easily the diamond in this sea of shit.
But, is this the worst of the franchise? Hardly. At least they didn't openly advocate for eugenics like TOS did in "The Mark of Gideon" or outright promote religious fanaticism to the point of murder like TNG did in "Homeward". Hell, it's not even the worst of ENT thus far. At least it didn't say "rape is funny.... as long as it happens to a man" like they did in "Unexpected". So, at least it doesn't promote murder or rape. Hardly high praise.
Fri, Apr 14, 2017, 10:17am (UTC -6)
PORTHOS: Barking excitedly
ARCHER: What is it boy?
PORTHOS: Bark-bark-bark
ARCHER: You smelled the (techno-babble) residue of a (technobabble) weapon on our guests?
PORTHOS: Bark-bark-bark
ARCHER: What do you mean they’re not ambassadors but assassins?!
PORTHOS: Bark-bark-bark
ARCHER: Archer here! Go to red alert! Red alert!
PORTHOS: Bark-bark-bark—now the universal translator kicks in and we hear Porthos say …
Mon, Apr 24, 2017, 4:23pm (UTC -6)
The part about sexual tensions between him and T'Pol are ridiculous. The offending of the easily offendable race is stupid. How Archer has to make it up to them is laughable.
There have been some bad ENT episodes (like "Acquisition" the dumb Ferengi comedy) but this is the worst so far.
Personally, I love dogs and thought Phlox/T'Pol had a good roles to play in shining a light on Archer's idiocy.
For me 0.5/4 stars. Was difficult to make it through this one.
Sun, May 28, 2017, 1:40pm (UTC -6)
If Archer was a responsible pet owner, he wouldn't be taking Porthos down to populated worlds at all. I noticed that the crew doesn't scrub down before leaving the ship. Who's to say what alien races may not be deathly allergic to dog hair? ;)
Phlox's needling about Archer's sex life was creepy, and I'm sick of hearing about his 500 degrees. I'd rather see more creative medical techniques or other evidence of his ingenuity. Show, don't tell. As it is, I'm unimpressed by Phlox so far. When sweaty Archer hands him a vial and Phlox plunks it directly into the clean box without even quickly sanitizing it, I cringed a little. He conducts surgery on Porthos without putting on any kind of surgical protective equipment, and watching him converse with Archer directly over the tank was a little gross. This may be the scientist in me overreacting a little.
Archer's wet dream was unnecessary; I can understand why he'd have conflicting feelings about T'Pol, but I didn't need to see all that, and the Freudian slips were embarrassing to watch. That final scene with T'Pol hinting attraction toward Archer was absolutely silly, and I tire of the writers' attempts to convince us Archer is Sexy and Totally Not the Blandest Captain in All of Trek. The sexual tension between T'Pol and Trip, on the other hand, feels far more natural to me.
Hoshi catching the bat was awesome, though, and Phlox's nighttime routine was mildly amusing.
Sun, Jul 9, 2017, 5:40pm (UTC -6)
Thu, Aug 10, 2017, 5:57pm (UTC -6)
If you substitute T'Pol, say, for Porthos, and it was T'Pol who was infected from the aliens lack of warning, would you still be complaining about how Archer reacted? Probably not.
Most of the hatred seems to stem from the fact that it was a sick dog and not a person. That is a lot of what the show was about, is how humans raise their pets to the level of people in their minds. Phlox and T'Pol both tell Archer he is being too protective of his dog.
But that's what humans do, or many of them anyway.
Also Archer doesn't have many actual friends on board, most captains don't really. He is always their commanding officer first. Porthos is his best friend. He is protective of his best friend. Maybe that should have been the title 'A Human's Best Friend'.
Archer never once complained to the Kreetassans themselves. Maybe he shouldn't have taken Porthos to begin with, but he asked permission to take him and it was given and they messed up. He didn't do anything drastic about it, except maybe bitch too much about it to the crew. But he was at first frustrated, and then sleep deprived, and his dog/best friend was maybe going to die, so maybe he had a right to bitch a little. And he ended up apologizing in the end, so other than looking a bit pissed off to a few members of the crew, no harm was done. I don't see how this episode makes him out to be a bad captain.
Janeway would probably have sent the delta flyer down to investigate and Kim would have landed on the trees crushing them and started a war, with Chakotay telling her she was being stupid, while she ignored him and stole all the parts they needed and left, the whole thing having been forgotten by the next episode.
Sat, Sep 23, 2017, 12:21pm (UTC -6)
Well, it's a comedy and not particularly highbrow one. But I don't think comedy really needs to be. Sometimes, even dumb humor can be funny. I do get a giggle at some of the stuff from Kung-Pow. But that's kinda because of just how dumb it is. I just don't think this one reaches that-partly because it doesn't really have much energy to it. I thought the fart gag at the beginning was little funny, and the scene where he tries to one up T'Pol gets a giggle. Otherwise, I thought it was mostly just embarrassing. Honestly, it's when the episode isn't trying to be funny, I had the most laugh, like Archer's Star Trek Captain speech about Kreetasans hurting his dog or him angrily watching water polo.
Writing wise, it's not too great. For one, what was the point the timer? What did that tell us? Archer bringing Porthos with him in the first place is very contrived. The sexual tension bit comes straight out of nowhere, not just series wide, but in the episode itself.
@skindles
1) I dunno about T'Pol, but Trip peeing on something sacred and getting sick from it does sound like on of his plots.
2) I'm not sure I buy Archer would care half as much.
"Never once complained to Kreetasans themselves". Later in the episode, he complains to Phlox about how they don't care about Porthos being sick. How would they know if Archer hadn't actually called them to tell them what assholes they are?
"didn't do anything drastic about it"
The first scene after the intro is him telling Trip they should just risk the ship and not bother anymore. And that's before he knows Porthos is sick.
As for "permission", he sent them his genetic profile. Even if they got from it that it's animal level intelligence, they likely figured out it was trained enough not to pee on random things because otherwise, why would anybody be so stupid as to bring it with them?
Also, asking somebody if they apologized like he told them to do and then literally thirty seconds later getting pissed off at them for apologizing goes beyond just being whiny, that's straight up crazy.
And the thing is, this all might be fine, if it was say, early or middle season 1. But this is Season 2. And this isn't a new situation, we have seen Archer being a stubborn ass unwilling to compromise. It's one thing for him to make mistakes and learn from it but you can't have him do the same mistakes over and over again.
Sun, Oct 8, 2017, 8:56pm (UTC -6)
Okay, first of all, I have pets. I can understand Archer loving and being concerned for his dog. That's fine. But instead of doing something to get the Kratassans off his back, he spends the whole time moaning about them not caring about it too. The dog pee'd on something sacred. Why should they care? Archer is lucky they didn't kill Porthos. And he bitches at Phlox who is doing the very best to try to save the poor dog. Archer is a complete jerk throughout this whole episode and annoying. and the real pissy thing is where he tells T'pol to talk to the Kratassens and when she does, he tells her off. This guy is (well, supposed to be!) a trained diplomat and yet he likes a first year cadet!! I hate this story. Archer just drives me nuts and "The reason you are uptight is because you need to get laid" plot is just stupid. Watch this review by SFDebris. It's hysterical!
sfdebris.com/videos/startrek/e130.php
Sun, Oct 22, 2017, 2:12pm (UTC -6)
I never liked Archer, he walks around the bridge like he needs a crap and talks like he's only just discovered language. But this is even worse. Not only does this "trained diplomat", Starfleet captain and humanity's representative in space (god help us all) think it was a good idea to take a fucking animal down to an alien planet where he was trying to get vital engine component so his crew wouldn't die in the vastness of space when the ship broke down. And not just any alien planet, the one planet where the locals are easily offended. And dogs have a habit of doing things that could be seen as offensive. And how dare they have bacteria on their planet that could make an alien animal sick!
Jesus Christ, its shit like this that makes me wonder how Enterprise managed 4 seasons and relieved when it was finally shot in the head and dumped in the gutter (but not without another shit of a series finale). It just goes to show that the concept of Enterprise was flawed and hopelessly written/produced/everything from the beginning if this not even bottom of the barrel but under it kind of episode is what we get in the second season.
Tue, Oct 24, 2017, 10:11am (UTC -6)
But I fail to see why we needed this episode at all.
Zero stars!
Sun, Oct 29, 2017, 4:02pm (UTC -6)
Mon, Dec 25, 2017, 12:10pm (UTC -6)
Also, why is this dog not aging? He’s still a puppy after 1 year in space?
Also 2, sick of the objectification of T’Pol the actor and constant humiliation of T’Pol the character. No idea why she stays on a ship where everyone is always rude to her for being 100% right 100% of the time.
Sat, Feb 17, 2018, 9:48am (UTC -6)
Sat, Feb 17, 2018, 10:10am (UTC -6)
Fri, Mar 16, 2018, 3:21pm (UTC -6)
Sat, Mar 24, 2018, 12:14pm (UTC -6)
I disagree with Jammer about Phlox. Before "Dear Doctor", he stroke me as being kinda Neelix doc, but rather arrogant (nothing against the actors at all).
After that sad episode, I simply don't care anymore.
Bones was the best ST Doc not for his medical mumble jumbo, but for his true humanity, always challenging Spock's cold logics.
Fri, Jun 8, 2018, 2:58pm (UTC -6)
The attempts at humor just fall flat. What are we supposed to make of Archer's ridiculous log cutting ritual? Nothing artistic, nothing humorous -- just stupid.
Have to drop my rating to zero stars for this dog of an episode. It doesn't measure favorably with the "gems" that are "Spock's Brain" and "Favorite Son" (for example). It's idiotic from the get-go and doesn't let up, totally pointless.
Fri, Jun 29, 2018, 3:45pm (UTC -6)
Tue, Sep 4, 2018, 6:06pm (UTC -6)
Thu, Sep 13, 2018, 5:13pm (UTC -6)
Having just rewatched it, I have a suspicion that some of the criticism is bandwagoning. To be sure, it ain’t great but it isn’t offensively bad either.
Specifically, I don’t get the criticism regarding the apparent assassination of Archer’s character and him acting like a knob. Firstly this criticism implies that Archer was previously a man of good character. This is the guy who refused to cure an entire species of a lethal illness despite having the means to do so; the bloke who handed over highly sensitive intelligence belonging to Starfleet’s only military ally to their sworn enemy; the geezer who handed over said intel in part because he is unable to go a single episode without demonstrating how much of a massive racist he is just because a few nasty Vulcans made daddy vewwy vewwy sad. This guy is already established as being a massive tool, temperamentally unsuited to captaining Starfleet’s first vessel of exploration and arguably a criminal. Yet now people get upset because his dog-crush leads to a bit of pissiness directed at some douche-bag aliens? Doesn’t really add up to me.
But secondly, why is it even a problem if Archer is a cheb-end? It’s simply reflective of the real life fact that some people elevated to positions of power are emotionally unsuited to those positions. Or more simply, some people are just dicks and they aren’t always “the bad guys”. Somebody might point out that having a dislikable protagonist harms the show because the audience won’t root for the heroes. To which I’d respond, you don’t have to root for the heroes - like watching a football match where you hate one of the teams, you can still enjoy the game, or root for the opposition.
This episode does reinforce that both the character of Phlox and the actor who plays him are excellent. Now this dude really did have his character assassinated in Dear Doctor since he has thus far been otherwise depicted as a highly intelligent, empathetic and decent individual.
Fri, Sep 21, 2018, 4:02pm (UTC -6)
Fri, Sep 21, 2018, 4:27pm (UTC -6)
Thu, Oct 4, 2018, 7:17am (UTC -6)
Well, Voyager fans had to endure Naomi Wildman episodes. (I like her, I just don't want to spend half an episode in a creepy holodeck fairy tale with her.) DS9 fans had to endure Ferengi episodes. TNG fans had the incredibly stilted and embarrassing first two seasons. Enterprise had A Night In Sickbay, an episode where the captain of Earth's first deep space vessel worries about his dog.
My girlfriend's dog died nearly two months ago and we are both absolutely devastated. We didn't have a sci-fi bag of tricks to save her. I couldn't hold one leg behind my back while hopping up and down and apologising to someone for a cure. Instead I remember how Sybil turned and looked directly at me with pleading eyes when the vet was trying to lead her away. I had to look her in the eyes and tell her to go with the vet and that everything would be all right. Five minutes later, we cried over her as she lay dead.
This episode is a puerile attempt to tug at the heart-strings of men aged 15-35, who are tuning in to see how the Federation was formed and instead got jokes about T'Pol's tits, who want to be taken away from the day to day world and instead get to see their heroes glibly trampling across someone else's beliefs.
The random stubborn aliens of the week get treated no better than Christians. Would it have been acceptable to have your dog take a dump in a mosque? What do you think would happen then?
In short, the episode is aimed at entirely the wrong people. Trek fans are not blubbing little girls.
It also tries to be a character story, again rare for a non-DS9 Trek series. Unfortunately the characters are so muddled and poorly fleshed out that we get an insane farce which flies in the face of what little we know about these people. You know a show is in trouble, and terribly led, when the viewers know the characters and the universe better than the writers.
Fri, Oct 5, 2018, 1:45am (UTC -6)
Sun, Mar 10, 2019, 3:16pm (UTC -6)
Tue, Jul 30, 2019, 12:31pm (UTC -6)
On the other hand, the number of people who apparently watch every episode, reader Jammer's reviews of every episode, and need to comment about how every episode is the worst episode of Star Trek ever (math doesn't seem to check out there) is astonishing.
Tue, Aug 20, 2019, 1:40pm (UTC -6)
laughed and cringed, cringed and laughed.
To the next Enterprise 1 star episode.
Sun, Sep 22, 2019, 1:10am (UTC -6)
And being in a bad mood after spending a week doing what feels like grovelling and being turned away for what feels like no reason, and then your dog is dying, is fine. And he did apologise to everyone at the end and not get openly frustrated at the aliens so it’s not really a character assassination, just an example of a really really bad day. (He’s probably still shook up from thinking they’d had their first fatality last week, too.)
The problems are the invented sexual tension with T’Pol (the episode also implies through the focus on the decontamination scene that T’Pol has sexual tension with Hoshi, which she actually does to a limited degree, and Archer with Porthos which is... ugh!!) and Archer not even hesitating to kill one animal to save another apart from wondering if it will harm Porthos.
It’s so insulting to Jolene Blalock that they did this to T’Pol. They weren’t quite so bad to Jeri Ryan as Seven, and they still could have treated her a lot better. The stuff with Trip is fine and feels natural (and part of that comes from how they are both together with Archer a lot and neither is into him!), Malcolm fancying her is okay because he’s kind of the horny one of Enterprise (apart from maybe Phlox!) and they didn’t imply that he was very into her or that it was at all requited, but this is awful and spits on every episode so far. She feels the same? This woman went to sickbay because she had a tame sex dream about a jazz club, come on!
And though I’m not sure if it’s ever spelt out, I think the crew at this point believe she’s only up for it once every 7 years - so if that’s meant to be why they apparently all fixate on her, as a safe option in terms of effecting your relationships with your coworkers on a 5 year mission, they should go into that. (Also, this makes the line they put in about the crew being only nearly a third female even more stupid as well as offensive. You’d think it would then be a third gay men right? If they’re out there for 5 years and they recognise they’ll want to have sex with each other? But there’s no gay people and a shortage of women in the future, obviously! They briefly touch on the superiority of female astronauts in a scene that’s all leading up to topless Hoshi, but Starfleet are apparently too stupid to even hedge their bets and make the crew 50:50.) But no, it’s because the real actress has to wear a stupid costume because the show writers think it’s sexy, and they’re constantly thinking about having sex with her so obviously all the characters are.
Tue, Nov 19, 2019, 6:51pm (UTC -6)
Wed, Jun 17, 2020, 12:53am (UTC -6)
On an unrelated note, while writing this comment I accidently spelled Kirk, K-I-R-A. I've been a Star Trek fan (most specifically DS9) for a long time. Not once did I realize Captain Kirk and Colonel Kira had such similarly spelled names, weird...
Wed, Jun 24, 2020, 3:45pm (UTC -6)
Sat, Jul 25, 2020, 12:23am (UTC -6)
1. Phlox's tongue.
2. Archer and T'Pol's pissing contest.
3. T'Pol's remarks about dogs and toilets.
4. The escaped bat.
5. Archer and Phlox's batcatching efforts.
6. Hoshi's bat grab.
7. Phlox's doggie funeral scene.
8. T'Pol's vanishing wardrobe.
9. #7 segueing into #8.
10. Phlox owning Archer as indicated above.
11. Archer, dreads, a chainsaw, and gibberish.
Sun, Aug 16, 2020, 9:12pm (UTC -6)
Mon, Aug 24, 2020, 9:45pm (UTC -6)
Sun, Sep 27, 2020, 8:41pm (UTC -6)
Overall, a charming comic interlude that eschews space opera for character drama; it is among the stronger outings thus far.
Mon, Sep 28, 2020, 6:51am (UTC -6)
Sat, Nov 28, 2020, 1:12am (UTC -6)
The plight of Porthos was gripping. And seeing Archer's concern was touching.
Also, it is good for all of us to learn to humble ourselves and apologise. We do not have to exercise our "rights", but consider the other superior to us and go two miles if asked to go one.
Even the doctor's nightly routine was humourous and diverting
That said, I can't excuse the "sexual tension" plotline, nor the gratitious use of T'Pol again. It is such a shame, but in this sex-obssessed world, even children are used, attired and portrayed in an indecent way.
T'Pol and Archer are not married, so that should be the end of story. If Starfleet (and the Vulcan high command) allowed them to, that would be one thing, but I think at this point, Starfleet prohibits marriages of anyone on board their ships. I am glad they didn't have the two engage in immoral activity, but dwelling on such a subject is nothing but destructive and frustrating!
It is a shame, because this episode did have things going for it. It showed the value of humility, even towards those who are unreasonable. It showed had to mess it up with a negative message as well
Sun, Nov 29, 2020, 7:59pm (UTC -6)
Mon, Jan 25, 2021, 9:59am (UTC -6)
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