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ohx
Thu, May 15, 2014, 4:12am (UTC -6)
Re: Star Trek: The Motion Picture

God Awful. I just watched this first time ever on Netflix. So the first 1 hour and 30 minutes is sappy "oh we are all back together now" and "oh Spock" to which he does not give a sh*t of course. ONE HOUR AND 30 MINUTES. The enterprise has been redesigned with 70's pontiac air intakes everywhere. Oh and there is some pretty boy captain who is butt hurt when kirk takes command and some dead eyed dumb model chick with her hair cut off that he loves. She is not even attratctive kind of looks like a 10 year old boy suffering from cancer. So then the next 30 minutes they fly over this "alien" ship SLOWLY (which is the key word for this film). They are stretching like 2 minutes of content into an over 2 hour movie. Eventually they get to the center of the ship I suppose you could call it where there is a mechanized pulsating butthole (I kid you not). Of course spock is the first to fly into the butthole, you would think it would be Sulu, but whatever. And then the enterprise gets sucked in blah blah, to the butthole, this whole film is a butthole. So they find out inside is voyager 6 which looks like it was made out of duct tape and tinfoil and it wants to contact its "creator" but it will not take any radio contact so the pretty boy sacrifices himself to "merge" with it because it has now become the creepy no hair model chick. Oh yeah she was abducted and turned into a "probe"/robot at some point during the 30 minutes of "oh spock youre back" crap. It is all special effects and no story much like todays movies and the nostalgia factor just seems forced. GIANT BUTTHOLE SPOCK. Blast on in.
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