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Gooz
Fri, Aug 7, 2020, 8:26pm (UTC -5)
Re: Star Trek: Lower Decks

Just want to add one personal reason to the many great reasons noted above for not watching this show: there is a zero chance that this show’s timeline will intersect that of Keiko O’Brien, missing the opportunity for the show to do some fan service by killing her off.

I’d subscribe to CBS all access if they create ST:OB (O’Brien), where some terrorists kidnap Keiko, and Miles and Molly get commissioned by star fleet to save her. They spend the first few episodes trying to find her, then realize they’re happier without her, and use that star fleet resources and ship to go exploring the universe. Each episode would start and end with shots of Keiko wasting away in a dark, dirty cell, getting skinnier each episode, while Miles and Molly create fake progress reports to headquarters.

Miles would have to shape up and lose a whole lotta weight, though. I don’t think anyone wants to see some fat dude stretching out his uniform episode after episode (was hard enough seeing fat Riker in ST:P).
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Gooz
Tue, Mar 31, 2020, 7:28pm (UTC -5)
Re: PIC S1: Et in Arcadia Ego, Part 2

Just finished watching an old episode of TNG season 1 on Netflix and it just drove home how much STP sucks.

Hate-watching STP while downloading it off torrent and not paying for CBS All Access has been fun and all, but give me a good TNG episode with a skinny data and skinny Riker in their prime instead of these fat tubs of lard doing cameos for fan service any day. Give me Picard's sanctimonious monologues in his prime instead of his feeble old-man speeches. Give me Wesley and the pedo time traveler over Tilly in this dumpster fire. Shit, I'll even take a Keiko character episode in DS9.

Don't get me wrong. I'll definitely pirate season 2 of STP and enjoy hating every minute of it. As long as Netflix continues to carry TNG, I'll have something to come back to for recalibration.

What else am I going to watch? The new Fran Drescher show, "Indebted," airing on my local NBC station Thursdays at 9:30/8:30c, in which young parents Dave and Rebecca, who are ready to reclaim their lives after years of diapers and sleepless nights, take on the unexpected challenge of taking in Dave's parents, who show up unannounced and broke, leaving Dave with no choice but to open the door to the two people who gave him everything. But these boomerang parents aren't great with boundaries, and the question of who's parenting whom quickly becomes blurred. That show?
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Gooz
Sat, Mar 28, 2020, 1:17pm (UTC -5)
Re: PIC S1: Et in Arcadia Ego, Part 2

That magical ship fixy hologram projector thingie could come in handy elsewhere. They should probably keep it.

WTF on the campfire on the ship?

Lie-detecting robots stop lie-detecting when it’s convenient for the plot.

They sure like pulling out eyeballs on this show

Data’s brother showing everyone that sexybad Soji killed the other robot may have helped regular Soji make an informed decision earlier

Incest twins, Activate! Incest sister, Die! Incest brother, disappear like a loose end.

Who knew you could see tiny ships in orbit from the planet?

Once again, ships is 3D space don’t know how to go around something directly in front of them.

Picard’s pretty loosey goosey with his own life when it comes to sacrifice, but big whoop. He’s got space Parkinson’s. What about Tilly? She’s still young.

Having that beacon around is a nice backup for the robots in case the humans get uppity again.

Riker just leaves instead of waiting around to make sure the Romulans don’t come back or if Picard's OK?

Picard’s death scene failed to induce any emotion, because we all knew he’d be back as a robot.

Picard gets a new body and they give him his old-man body and man boobs and an expiration date? Also, who drew the short stick to put the cloth on his privates?

How did Data get old and fat in his own simulation? But, anyway. Data’s alive!! Don’t get used to it. He’s suicidal and gets murdered by Picard. Stupid.

Yet, Keiko lives.
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Gooz
Thu, Mar 19, 2020, 7:00pm (UTC -5)
Re: PIC S1: Et in Arcadia Ego, Part 1

A decent episode.

Raffi is finally becoming a good character. The acting was good.

Ruis is still "I'm Spanish in the 24th century, Putta madre!" Stupid.

Does Narek know he has the same posh British accent as the dead hummingbird-in-the-eye robot?

Sexy Evil, gold-skinned Soji is not good. Not original. Just stupid TV trope of a sexy evil woman. Jeeeyuz.

Brent Spiner is back. I was cutting onions while watching the show, so my wife thought my tears were from the onions. Bonus for having Spot II in the episode.

So the planet is a Robot Israel as a land of refuge for the eternally oppressed. The Romulans are anti-semites. I guess the antisemitic incestuous couple Narissa and Narek are Ilhan Omar and the her brother/husband and Picard is Trump standing up for the robots/Jews? Everything is too on-the-nose for me. Save the right-wing commentary for Fox News, writers! I came here for entertainment, not right-wing propaganda.

Tilly: What happened to DS-12?
Me: Yeah, what happened? I thought we were going to see Miles and Molly and get to see Keiko's death in flashback. There's still hope. As Picard said in this episode: "Hope and the odds make poor bedfellows"
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Gooz
Thu, Mar 12, 2020, 8:49pm (UTC -5)
Re: PIC S1: Broken Pieces

Very nice episode. The best so far.

The hologram party in Picard's holo-house was dumb. Just go ask Rios why he's being such a baby and don't waste 30 minutes in the middle of the episode.

Raffi is still the weak link of the show both as a character and as an actor. "honey," "mmmm hmmm," etc. are just too 1980s sassy lady.

7/9 is still awesome, but her quivering voice when she "feels things" needs some work.

Tilly went from “she must be destroyed” to “you’re so pretty” in 10 seconds. Hope she doesn't switch back on us.

Picard's left eye ptosis is distracting.

A little too convenient that the one pilot Raffi could find just happens to be someone who was involved in an earlier version of this robot-killing thing.

The promise of DS-12 had me hoping we'd get to see O'Brien and Molly and get a nice flashback of Keiko getting killed. They'd say something like "at first it was hard, but now we realize what a horrible human being she was and how much better our lives are without her."
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Gooz
Fri, Mar 6, 2020, 7:32pm (UTC -5)
Re: PIC S1: Nepenthe

@Tim: "Chemotherapy patients occasionally register false radiological alarms at border crossings."

Nope. Not chemo. Patients who have had radio-isotopes injected (e.g., thallium-201, Iodine-131) can trigger radiation alarms. That's why we give them a little note if they're traveling so the TSA doesn't go ape on them.

I don't know what the biological half-life of the tracer Tilly ate was, but it must've been loooooong if it's still in her bloodstream and she hasn't peed it out. Also, chew vs. swallow? No biological reason. But, what do you expect from the liberal arts majors who write this crap?
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Gooz
Fri, Mar 6, 2020, 7:15pm (UTC -5)
Re: PIC S1: Nepenthe

Still unclear what Yoko’s Ono's sunglasses are for

Couldn’t she do her mind meld on Picard to convince him not to save Data’s overbite child?

O: “First take this.”
Tilly: Opens mouth and swallows.
O: “Oh fuck. It must be chewed”
Maybe if an eating instruction is vital, mention it before the subject puts it in her mouth?

Finally the real Troi. Her presence reminds me what the show could have been and how it’s not.

Frakes is fat now. Celebrities, they have one job: to look good. Dude. Try Atkins or something.

“Coming here was a desperate impulse. I regret it already”
How about you leave now before the Romulans show up, asshole.

Chandler’s neck wound bleed looked venous. He should have just kept pressure on the wound

Riker’s dinner table needs more candles.

Riker’s creepy kid is exhibit A for why you shouldn’t homeschool your children

They kill off Hugh/Chandler and don’t have the decency to kill off Keiko?
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Gooz
Thu, Feb 27, 2020, 8:14pm (UTC -5)
Re: PIC S1: The Impossible Box

Just watching out of habit now. Not as bad as the last episode, although the incest siblings really need to screw and cut the sexual tension. Finally some plot movement. Tilly is one cold lady. She's barley done killing her boyfriend when she jumps into bed with the Mexican soccer star.

My only contribution here is to note how awesome it is that that Narek’s true name sounds like “my balls” in Farsi.
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Gooz
Thu, Feb 20, 2020, 11:50pm (UTC -5)
Re: PIC S1: Stardust City Rag

What a complete stinker of an episode, but at least it moved the plot forward and exposed Tilly/Agnes as a double agent.

In order of appearance of ridiculousness:

Maddox replicated all the ingredients, baked the cookies, showed them to the camera, and still had the ingredients? Also, what is Tilly/Agness, a grown adult, doing shooting an instagram story about baking?

Nice ship security that lets a bunch of animated 3-D gif ads just pop up on their bridge. I do like the writer's take on what a future version of a GeoCities web page would look like.

Dear Raffi, pro-tip when preparing your friend for dealing with a lizard lie-smeller: Don’t tell your friend the lizard lie-smeller can smell lies. It will make it less stressful for him when encounters a lizard lie-smeller.

Bjayzl? Bjeesus! Ridiculous name aside, I liked the old Troi better.

Picard's horrible French accent. Why even bother? How would the universal translator translate accents to the listener's native tongue? anyway Input: Human French Accent. Output option 01: Accent from the frog-eating part of the Lizard Lie-Smeller's planet. Output 02: Accent of a snooty, smelly person from the Lizard Lie-Smeller's planet? Output 03: Accent of a person who can't form a proper queue from the Lizard Lie-Smeller's planet?

Raffi’s son, Gabriel, is such a little shit. No wonder Raffi left him. Nice appearance by Mindy Kaling as his pregnant wife.

Dear Bjayzl, Pro-tip: When someone grabs your neck while your friends are all pointing their gun at her, shooting your assailant is a pretty good idea. Don't ask them to drop their guns.

Bruce Maddox has been lying around all passed out and beat up in the bar the whole time?

7/9's shootout escape was not as cool as it was made to appear on the teasers.

Why didn't Tilly/Agnes just kill Maddox before Picard got to him? Oh yeah. Plot.

They kill off Icheb, but can’t find the time for a quick flashback to kill of Keiko? Typical.
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Gooz
Sun, Feb 16, 2020, 2:11am (UTC -5)
Re: PIC S1: Absolute Candor

Some thoughts.

Agnes=Tilly. Not great for "Picard." I hope she becomes her own character soon. Tilly was barely tolerable in STD.

We now know what Eddie Van Halen’s Kramer Guitar would look like if it became a spaceship.

Picard’s safari/white savior getup when he beams down on the planet 14 years ago: Hilarious.

If Picard wants to visit the nunnery that looks like the inside of a Rain Forest Cafe, why can’t he beam there directly of the middle of the town square? I can see him doing it for some extra ego-stroking when he was there as their savior, but now that he's a hated man?

For a planet that is so dangerous to get to that no humans have dared to visit it for yours, it’s awfully convenient that they have a “Romulans only” sign in English.

Sister boy and Picard missed each other a lot, but neither one picked up a phone for 14 years? Also, call me cynical from years of watching "To Catch a Predator," but it's a weird relationship. Not as weird as the Romulan brother/sister thing, but still weird.

Picard's “Ethnic strife has taken over” speech: The Romulans were always xenophobic. They briefly changed when the Federation was saving their lives, and have now reverted to baseline. Why is Picard so shocked? At his age, he should have had some realism diffused into his bald head just by osmosis alone.

Slippery dancing scene between the Robot and the Romulan? WTF?

What does it say about humans in the future that robot creators don't make chubby or ugly androids?

Still no seatbelts on starships: "Hang on tight!"

The episode wasn't great, but distracting enough that I barely thought about the writers missing another chance to kill off Keiko.
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Gooz
Sun, Feb 9, 2020, 10:40am (UTC -5)
Re: PIC S1: The End Is the Beginning

Decent episode.

Nice shout out to Vasquez rocks, seeing how it's been featured on so many Trek episodes.

Raffi/Rafi seems overly dramatic and needs to tone it down a bit. Maybe they'll explain why she's so worked up about losing her job, given that she lives in a utopian paradise. The fact that she's distraught over Picard not calling her makes her seem needy and weak. She should shake less when she talks.

Commodore Oh’s glasses. WTF?

Good to know Hugh grew up to be Chandler from Friends.

Mental institution TV trope. Yawn.

The Romulan Brother and Sister need to see a counselor. Unless this is normal for Romulans, there's a bit too much sexual tension there.

And another week of not killing off Keiko. I guess this is how they're going to keep us interested: "Tune in next week. Maybe we'll kill her off then."
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Gooz
Sat, Feb 1, 2020, 9:26am (UTC -5)
Re: PIC S1: Maps and Legends

The opener from Utopia Planitia missed a huge chance to do some fan service and kill of Keiko for good.

She may have been elsewhere on Mars, maybe in the botany lab or in a classroom. They still haven't brought back all the old cast yet, so there's hope that they'll bring up her death in a nice glossy flashback when Picard goes to visit the widowed O'Brien and Molly, who, unshackled by Keiko have flourished since her couldn't-have-come-soon-enough death 14 years ago.

The rest of the episode was decent, but very distracting given the whole Keiko not being killed issue. Hard to concentrate on the plot and acting with that big elephant in the room.
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gooz
Tue, Jan 28, 2020, 6:29am (UTC -5)
Re: PIC S1: Remembrance

An almost perfect episode. The only thing missing, and something I'm hoping will be addressed in later episodes, is to establish as fact and canon that a divorced Keiko was living on Utopia Planitia with her new husband (Neelix) when it was attacked and that they died horrific, painful deaths. This would be a great backstory for bringing back Miles, unhampered by his annoying wife. Having the promise of no more Neelix would be bonus.

Also, super happy that no Klingons made it to this episode. I'm so over their BS culture and HONOR!, especially after DS9 and Discovery.
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Gooz Chos
Sat, Apr 20, 2019, 11:10pm (UTC -5)
Re: ORV S2: Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow

You can't blame Mercer for trying things a second time around with the love of his life. Who among us wouldn't do the same if given the chance? Anyone? Anyone? Riker?

I do wonder about Starfleet...urm...The Union rules on captains dating subordinates who have been snatched out of time and brought into the future, while having another subordinate who is the future version of the time traveler. Seems like there'd be a rule about that.

Cute episode. Unexpected ending for sure.
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Gooz Chos
Sat, Apr 20, 2019, 9:33pm (UTC -5)
Re: DSC S2: Such Sweet Sorrow, Part 2

@Tim C,
By far, the fanboy/fangirl internet fights here on the JammersReviews.com comment boards have been more entertaining and cerebral than ST:D (and definitely less painful than my last STD).
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Gooz Chos
Sat, Apr 20, 2019, 7:01pm (UTC -5)
Re: DSC S2: Such Sweet Sorrow, Part 2

4 stars for the biggest magic reset button ever!

So, the reason we don't know about Michael, the spore drive, gays, etc. in TOS, TNG, & DS9 is that they were all sent into the future (apparently, we just had 3 gays in the universe at the time of Discovery).

I'm so glad I never invested much emotional or intellectual energy to this show, and left it as background CGI/Kungfu fighting while doing dishes and cleaning the kitty litter box.

Hopefully season 3 will start with either 1) a newly built Discovery and a brand new crew in the TOS timeline, and/or 2) Mitt Romney/Pike, Spock, Number 1, and the wicked witch of the west (who the F was that?!?!) continuing the voyages of the star ship Enterprise.

Bonus: The crew's reaction to Spock shaving his beard reminded me of the scene in The Room, where another pencil-neck actor shaved his face-pubes for no reason. Priceless homage.
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Gooz Chos
Sun, Apr 14, 2019, 5:05pm (UTC -5)
Re: DSC S2: Such Sweet Sorrow, Part 1

The characters are now so annoying that I'm solidly on Team Control. When will it finally get its hand on the data and rid the universe of these losers?

Also, we're slowly getting set up for the giant reset button.

Holographic communications is no more. Why? Reasons. Not sure if I understood the explanation.

Discovery's spore drive is no more. Why? It's in the future.

Spock's always-almost-crying step-sister is no more. Why? See spore drive.

There no more Kelpiens in the Fedration. Why? See spore drive.

Still unexplained:
- Where did all the gays and lesbians go in TOS, TNG, and DS9? Must've been a right-wing backlash right after STD.
- Why does mirror universe Georgiou not have a goatee?
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Gooz Chos
Sun, Apr 7, 2019, 4:55pm (UTC -5)
Re: DSC S2: Through the Valley of Shadows

Pike: "I can haz time crystal?"

Wise Old Klingon Baby: "Yesh. It's a super difficult sacrifice. 1) You get to see your future, and 2) You'll know that it can't be changed (the thing you already know when someone says they're going to show you your future [not "one of your futures]. You know, the future, singular)."

Pike: "So...I can haz time crystal and 1) I get to see into my future and know how long I'll live (score)! and 2) Know something I already know? Where do I sign up?"

So, as long as Pike takes a look at his watch when in the future, he knows how long he has to live (i.e., how long he'll basically be invincible for) and how shitty his future is so he can carpe the fuck out of his current diems knowing he'll be healthy and vigorous until he gets locked-in-syndrome and gets to star in a Metallica video.

Am I the only one who thought the challenge of the time crystal (what a dumb name) isn't that challenging?

Everyone is dark and moody on this show. Pike was the one ray of sunshine, and now he's ruined too. I guess that's how the time crystals exact a price: They steal the one fun thing about the show.

At least Tig Notaro finally told that mopey baby doctor to grow a set and go back to Stamets. Maybe now that Pike is ruined and all moody and deep, Doc will now be the happy guy on the show.

Also, I feel so #woke after this show.
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Gooz Chos
Sat, Apr 6, 2019, 5:34pm (UTC -5)
Re: DSC S2: Perpetual Infinity

The characters are starting to get on my nerves. Everyone is so sad all the time. I think the writers think this makes them deep. It doesn't. If I wanted to see sad people, I'd go downtown and stare at the homeless. Scratch that. At least they're high most of the time, so they're doing something to make themselves feel better.

Michael is becoming a one-note parody of herself: always either crying or about to.

Spock is a pencil-necked little twit. An insult to Nimoy. Whoever cast this little wimp needs to be fired. He brings nothing to the table. No joy.

Tilly needs to grow some self-confidence already. Enough with the stammering. Grow some ovaries and take charge. Grow as a character. This isn't The Simpsons.

Culber just got a second chance at life. Dude! Enjoy it. "I don't feel like myself." "The scar that made me want to go to med school is gone." You've dumped that Stamets guy. Go screw everyone on the ship. Get high. Enjoy life. Something. He's also always on the edge of tears. Dude!

Tyler needs to get a haircut so he can save money on all that product he uses on his hair. I imagine this dude reeking of the Klingon version of Axe Body Spray. I'd feel like crap too if I spent 3 hours getting ready in the morning.

If these characters keep the pity party going for one more episode, I'm going to get on Team Control and hope it wipes out all life in the galaxy.
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Gooz
Sun, Jan 28, 2018, 1:28pm (UTC -5)
Re: ENT S4: Terra Prime

Nice 2-episode arc. The baby was stupid. What was the plan? Clone cute baby and watch it die to prove a point? Instead of using any 2 random DNAs from easy-to-get vulcan and human, pick two people on a spaceship that is almost never around?

Glad the baby died. She would have ruined T’pol and Trip’s lives.
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Gooz
Sat, Jan 27, 2018, 9:10am (UTC -5)
Re: ENT S4: In a Mirror, Darkly, Part I

First we get the Orion slave belly dancers and now this. Stopped watching as soon as T’Pol showed up in the crop top. Maybe this crap played well in whenever this show was filmed, but it’s just gross and pervy now. Plus, I always hated these mirror universe episodes.
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Gooz Chos
Wed, Jan 24, 2018, 6:25am (UTC -5)
Re: ENT S4: Affliction

Klingon: Asking for help in curing a disease isn’t the Klingon way.

Phlox: Well, then, it seems like your people don’t deserve to continue existing. Please show me to the nearest airlock. The loss ofone life is a minor price to pay to ensure the end of such a horrible, xenophobic, and aggressive species. Bonus: Worf will never have existed.
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Gooz
Sun, Jan 14, 2018, 8:32am (UTC -5)
Re: ENT S4: Cold Station 12

So. The Augments are just like us in their cruelty, selfishness, xenophobia, and self-destructiveness. Except they are super smart, super strong, and live a long time. Sounds like an improvement. The only reason humans would oppose them and want them killed is humanity’s cruelty, selfishness, and xenophoboa.

I’m on the side of the Augments on this. Leave them alone.
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Gooz
Fri, Jan 12, 2018, 12:31am (UTC -5)
Re: ENT S3: E2

Did anyone at any point think that maybe the original Enterprise crew transfer their injectors and their dirty, unwashed asses to the new Enterprise and go through the vortex together?

That way, we get a fixed up and upgraded enterprise ready to do battle.

And poor Malcolm Reed can maybe find a mate among the grandchildren of his more reproductively successful colleagues.
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Gooz
Wed, Jan 10, 2018, 10:54pm (UTC -5)
Re: ENT S3: Harbinger

So, the alien’s nepharious plan was
Place me in a pod
Place the tiny pod in a huge bubble gum thing
Hope Enterprise notices needle in haystack
Assume Archer is stupid enough to pull the thing out (most solid part of the plan)
Hope Archer decides to disconnect alien from his weird pod
Wait for phasing to happen
Destroy enterprise.

Solid plan, Manny Coto.
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