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Carbetarian
Sat, Sep 24, 2011, 1:21pm (UTC -5)
Re: VOY S6: Fair Haven

@Jack YES! I was thinking the same thing! Take it a step further though. Let's say Janeway actually decides to take those "pleasuring parameters" (lol) for a test run, and then the ship is hit hard by that ion storm (or whatever this week's anomaly was). The holodeck shorts out while everyone is at the bar, and Janeway is *ahem* with the bar keep. Now, THAT would be awkward.

Or even worse, imagine the embarrassing potential accidents that could arise from a power drain while hooking up with a hologram. Janeway and and Michael are on a bed, when the bed suddenly disappears. CRASH. Janeway and Michael are having a kinky afternoon in the upper loft of a friend's barn. BOOM. You get the idea.

Imagine this scene:

Doctor: Please state the nature of the medical emergency.

Janeway: It's none of your business. Just treat my back.

Doctor: But captain, if I know how you received the injury I'll be better able to treat it.

Janeway: Computer; disengage the doctor's vocal subroutines!

*end scene*

As for the episode, eh... I didn'f hate it as much as I expected to. In fact, I kind of enjoyed some of it. It was kind of nice to see a softer side of Janeway, and the questions raised about the viablity of having a relationship with a hologram were interesting. The Irish stereotyping was pretty cringe worthy though, and I don't think I ever needed to see Tuvok get space sick like that.

I think two stars is about right, actually.
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Carbetarian
Sun, Sep 11, 2011, 11:42pm (UTC -5)
Re: VOY S5: Course: Oblivion

Oddly enough, I agree with all the major points in this review regarding the plot and I can completely understand why someone might not like this episode. But, for some reason, I still really enjoyed this one. I found it oddly moving, and I actually found myself near tears more than once while watching it.

I remember enjoying Voyager a lot when I was a kid. But, watching the show now as an adult has been almost painful. I'm honestly not even sure how I've managed to make it this far in the series. Voyager is so often pointless, badly written and boring.

Although I freely admit that this episode was essentially pointless and was arguably badly written (with it's many plot holes), it was not boring. For that alone, it is better than 75% of what this show put out during it's 7 year run.
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Carbetarian
Thu, Aug 4, 2011, 12:38am (UTC -5)
Re: VOY S4: Scientific Method

I can't believe so many people liked this episode! Jammer, I completely agree with everything you said in this review. This episode was totally sophomoric and lame. I stopped paying attention after Chakotay started whining about his hair loss in sick bay.
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Carbetarian
Tue, Jun 7, 2011, 9:56am (UTC -5)
Re: BSG S4: Daybreak, Part 2

Although this ending wasn't perfect, I still thought it was pretty good. I cried my eyes out for the entire last hour. I don't fully understand why exactly Adama needed to abandon Lee like that. But, the incredibly moving scenes with Roslin more than made up for my disappointment on that front.

I really enjoyed the ambitious scope of this series. Season one was just perfect. Seasons and two are three were also great, although not as amazing as the first season IMO. I thought the first half of season four really knocked it out of the park and got back to the level of awesomeness the first season had. The second half of season four was good, but didn't quite match up to the first half in terms of quality. Still, I have to give much respect and kudos to RDM and company for putting out such excellent TV for all four seasons. I don't think I've enjoyed any show as much since DS9! This show is definitely up there with my all time favorites.

Regarding the comparisons here between this episode and DS9's "What you leave behind", they were sort of reverse experiences for me. I think the end of the war arc is handled really well in WYLB. It felt satisfying and believable to me, and I still enjoy rewatching the last battle on DVD. I did not feel that way about the end of the cylon war here. For me, the end of Cavil and his fellow skinjobs felt very contrived and was kind of a let down.

However, the last half of Daybreak was much more satisfying to me than the last half of WYLB. In Daybreak, I felt all the characters got the ending they deserved, even if some of them were sad ones. Yes, I would have liked a goodbye between Tigh and Adama. I also would have liked at least a little bit of happiness for Tyrol. But, overall, I felt the characters went out with respect, and I felt resolved and even optimistic by the end of it all.

By contrast, I hate that the writers on DS9 decided to make Sisko a prophet. I wanted him to stay at the station and raise the baby with Kassidy. I understand why Odo left Kira to be with his people, but I didn't love that choice either. I liked what they did with Worf, but it bothers me that the TNG movies kind of crapped on his ending.

Don't get me wrong, I liked both finales a lot. But, I liked them for different reasons.

Jammer, thank you so much for your wonderful reviews! You've really enhanced my enjoyment of both BSG and Star Trek over the years. I truly appreciate all your hard work, and can't wait to see some more TNG reviews whenever you find the time.

Cheers!
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Carbetarian
Tue, May 31, 2011, 7:19am (UTC -5)
Re: TNG S5: A Matter of Time

Elliot-

Really, season one? I agree this episode goes nowhere. But, really? Season one??? The season that featured such unforgettable writing as Tasha's D.A.R.E. Speech? Ok...
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Carbetarian
Tue, Apr 26, 2011, 8:16pm (UTC -5)
Re: BSG S1: Water

The writing, acting and ideas presented on this show are all great. But, I hate, hate, HATE the camera work. All that hand held camera work makes me motion sick.

I can't emphasis enough how much all that bouncing around detracts from my enjoyment of the show. I find myself looking away during particularly shaky scenes to keep from feeling like I might throw up. For the life of me, I cannot understand how that style of filming ever became popular.

That said, so far, I am loving the very real, multidimensional story telling that's going on here. Ronald D Moore has created a very believable universe, and I'm looking forward to watching the rest of the show. I might have to invest in some dramamine to fully enjoy it. But, I'm excited about watching the rest of this show none the less.
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Carbetarian
Mon, Apr 25, 2011, 2:02am (UTC -5)
Re: DS9 S6: Profit and Lace

Here are my nominees for the worst episodes of Trek:

TOS - Spock's Brain (which, yes, does benefit slightly from becoming an unintentional comedy), And The Children Shall Lead, The Way To Eden

TNG - Really, the entire first season would be a good choice here. But, I'll go with Code of Honor (I'm not sure if that's the right title. It's the one where they go to the planet where everyone is black and Tasha fights some girl to the death with a ridiculous poisonous glove thing), The Naked Now (which, again, benefits from lots of unintentional comedy) and Sub Rosa.

DS9 - This one, Let He Who is Without Sin and The Emperor's New Cloak. I actually think New Cloak is the worst of the lot on DS9. I've never cared for the mirror universe, and when you throw Zek in the mix... Ugh, deep hurting.

Voyager - Everything in season two, with the obvious choice for the worst episode being Threshold and my close runner up being Twisted. That episode where Chakotay takes over people's brains from season one is also a real loser.

Enterprise - Well, A Night In Sick Bay definitely takes the cake there. But, again, that one kept me laughing for all the wrong reasons. Precious Cargo and Bound are also exceptionally terrible. But, I think Marauders (the one where they fight a bunch of Klingons on some mining colony, but not really) is also a good candidate for the worst of the lot.

That's my two cents, anyway.
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Carbetarian
Mon, Apr 25, 2011, 1:38am (UTC -5)
Re: DS9 S7: The Emperor's New Cloak

Honestly, for me, this episode is just as bad as (if not worse than) profit and lace. UGH... No stars!
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Carbetarian
Sun, Apr 24, 2011, 4:09pm (UTC -5)
Re: DS9 S7: Take Me Out to the Holosuite

*bringing
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Carbetarian
Sun, Apr 24, 2011, 4:08pm (UTC -5)
Re: DS9 S7: Take Me Out to the Holosuite

I can't believe there's so little praise here for my favorite line!

Worf: We will destroy them.

Lmao, Worf was comedy gold in this one.

Also funny:

"death to the oposition!"

"find him and kill him!"

And when Worf objects to brining Rom back because they have a man on third. Haha
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Carbetarian
Sun, Apr 24, 2011, 4:26am (UTC -5)
Re: VOY S2: Dreadnought

Also, @Destructor, may I second Ken's what???
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Carbetarian
Sun, Apr 24, 2011, 4:24am (UTC -5)
Re: VOY S2: Dreadnought

I really enjoyed this episode, even though it felt like a rip off of Dark Star. By VOYAGER standards, this might even be a three star outing for me. I mean, when you compare it to the other crap they put out in season two, this one is pretty good. If this episode aired on TNG or DS9 though, I think it would be two stars at best. This season of Voyager has sucked so hard, I've had to start lowering my standards a little to keep up.

I'm beginning to think the contest for "suckiest star trek series ever" is a tighter race than I had previously suspected. I thought Enterprise had the title on lock down. But now, I don't know. Voyager is definitely putting up more of a fight than I had remembered.
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Carbetarian
Fri, Apr 22, 2011, 5:02pm (UTC -5)
Re: VOY S2: Meld

@Ken I think you're nitpicking a little too hard here. I believe it was established in the 37s that Voyager has a crew of 150. Realistically speaking, we aren't going to see all of them. That Voyager would seem to go on to have a crew closer to 1,000 and about 50 shuttle crafts to burn by the end of the show's run though is, for me, a more pertinent matter to nitpick about. Feel free to tear that one apart as much as you want.

Anyway, third me in for praising the scene where Neelix gets throttled! Every episode should have a scene like that. In fact, Neelix should have been like Kenny on South Park. Every week he dies a new death! They could have had some scenes like this:

*Janeway, Chakotay and Tuvok stand in cargo bay 2*

Janeyway: What are we going to do about this wacky spatial anomaly that's threatening our ship this week?

Chakotay: Well, I was thinking we just kind of do whatever we did the first 50 times this happened.

Tuvok: Logic dictates that we should consider not flying into spatial anomalies all together in the future. How about that? Amiright?

*enter Neelix*

Neelix: Well hello there Captain, Chuckles, Mr. Vulcan! I brought you all some leftover pieces of my Jabalian Omelets from breakfast! Can't think without sustenance after all-

Chakotay: Captain, Tuvok - QUICK, GRAB HOLD OF SOMETHING STRONG!

*Cargo bay door opens, Neelix is sucked out into space*

Chakotay: WHOOPS! My finger must have slipped...


Or how about this...

*Janeway, the doctor, Neelix and Kes are all in sickbay*

The doctor: I've been working on a new cortical supplement that would vastly improve the crew's brain power.

Janeway: That's great! How does it work?

Kes: I've convinced Neelix to be our first test subject.

Neelix: Anything for you, my sweet.

The Doctor: Yes, and as Neelix is the dumbest person currently on board the ship, he also stands the most to gain by this working.

Janeway: Agreed. Let's try it.

*the doctor injects Neelix in his temples, Neelix immediately drops dead*

The Doctor: Oh well, needs work.

*end scene*


Anyway, in all seriousness, this was a good episode. Three stars from me too!
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Carbetarian
Fri, Apr 22, 2011, 2:22am (UTC -5)
Re: VOY S2: Threshold

Well, since this episode already has so many comments, I'll try to keep this short.

1. As others have stated, evolution does not work this way.

2. Ditto to what @Travis said about infinity

3. Lol @Sarah M. I can't believe this episode won an Emmy! And it beat out "the visitor", no less! It beat out what is easily one of the best hours of Trek ever filmed! Unbelievable!

4. Does anyone remember that TNG episode in the seventh season where they had to impose speed limits on warp travel because the warp fields were tearing apart subspace or some other such nonsense? Whatever happened to that? Wouldn't a ship that could be everywhere at once pretty much destroy subspace using that logic? Whatever.

5. As has been mentioned before, ships have been shown going faster than warp 10 plenty of times before in Trek history. Considering that Brannon Braga loves to get up on his high horse and talk about how he eats, sleeps and breathes Star Trek and can therefore never be questioned about his script choices (see his explanation of that awful ferengi episode on Enterprise for an example), you would really think he would know better than to base a plot around something that so obviously contradicts canon.

6. They left the offspring on the planet? Really? Leaving a new life form (that can apparently reproduce incredibly quickly) alone on a planet they are not native to doesn't violate the prime directive in some way? REALLY?

7. Wouldn't a ship going that fast run the risk of slamming into planets or other large objects that could potentially destroy the shuttle? Is the computer supposed to be making course corrections fast enough to deal with that issue? REALLY?!?

Ok, I'm done. I could keep complaining about this one for a long time. But, I'm just going to quit before my head explodes from thinking about the sheer stupidity of what I just saw.

ZERO STARS from me too!
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Carbetarian
Fri, Apr 22, 2011, 12:33am (UTC -5)
Re: VOY S2: Alliances

I felt this one was a little messy. But, I think @Peter, @PM, @Ken and @Destructor already covered most of my complaints. All in all though, this is one of the second season's better shows.

Three stars from me.

Also, did anyone else catch when Seska tells Maj Cullah that she's carrying his child? Isn't it Chakotay's child? Was this a writer's error? Or is she trying to put one over on the Maj? This is my first time watching Voyager since it originally aired. So, I sincerely can't remember which one it is.
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Carbetarian
Thu, Apr 21, 2011, 10:32pm (UTC -5)
Re: VOY S2: Prototype

@Jammer I am so glad you brought up the Tom Paris bit! I was thinking the same thing while I was watching this episode. Tom said his "very polite, these automated units" line and I rolled my eyes so hard I think I might have sprained my eyeballs. This show take formulaic writing to the extreme.

You know, I watched Star Trek Enterprise in it's totality a few months ago and kept up with your reviews as I went along. You did a really funny (and very apt) review of "the xindi" where you went off on a tangent about Berman and Braga creating scripts using the F keys on their keyboard in the writers office for automatic script cues. I think you had pressing F12 as the "send Archer and Crewmate to jail" button. But, man, I feel like that scenario is even more plausible on Voyager.

F1 - the crew finds some random crap floating in space, stops to check it out.

F2 - Spatial anomaly, shields drop to 15% instantly

F3 - Hostile alien

F4 - Someone gets kidnaped

F5 - We found humans/an alpha quadrant alien! Again!

F6 - Tom Paris makes what some writer clearly thought was a witty remark

F7 - unauthorized transport

F8 - ten minute long space battle

F9 - something involving the *ugh* holodeck

F10 - pointless Neelix scene

You get the idea.

It bothers me so much how they never really show Voyager deal with all the beatings it takes. The ship loses it's shields, has hull breaches and generally takes a licking in almost every episode. And yet, in the next episode the ship is always fine. It doesn't even have a scratch on it! It's ridiculous.

I always know that whatever kind of thrashing the ship takes in a given episode won't ever really matter, because Voyager is a show that refuses to really think about consequences. It makes it very hard to care about all these fourth act space shoot outs.

@Ken I agree with you on this point. It always bothered me how Voyager seems to stop for every little thing. It's like going for a drive with my mom. When she's in a certain mood, she wants to stop for everything! If we pass near a neighborhood where someone she knows used to live, we have to go drive by. If we are near a place where someone she knows used to work, we are going to alter our course to go see how the place looks now. Suddenly what should have been an hour or two with mom has turned into an entire day. And that's fine, because I love my mom.

But, if we found ourselves suddenly stuck in, say, Mexico and discovered that we had to find a way to get my mom back to Detroit and she still wanted to stop at every little restaurant or bar she ever had a good memory at, that would be a different story. I would have to say "sorry, mom. But, I'm not stopping this car to see if that guy in Nuevo Laredo still sells those churros you like.", and that is pretty much how I would feel about Janeway stopping for every little particle of rust on the way back to the alpha quadrant if I were on her crew too.

Ok, about this specific episode, did anyone else think the robot kind of looked like Lal from TNG painted silver? That's some pretty disappointing costuming. Still, the story moved well and I always enjoy Be'lanna. I agree with Jammer on this one. It was definitely inoffensively standard.

Two stars from me.
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Carbetarian
Tue, Apr 19, 2011, 10:26pm (UTC -5)
Re: VOY S2: Resistance

This was an odd episode for me, because I saw everything coming and still managed to really enjoy it. I stayed teary eyed through the entire last half of the show. I mostly credit the actors for this story's success. But, the writing this week was also very good (FOR A CHANGE!).

Compared to the mediocre crap Voyager usually puts out, this is easily a four star show for me. They needed to do more episodes like this one and less like the 37's, elogium, non sequitur, twitsted, cold fire... Ok, less episodes like the majority of season 2.
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Carbetarian
Mon, Apr 18, 2011, 10:06am (UTC -5)
Re: VOY S2: Maneuvers

Well, this was a good episode. But, the plot holes were large and numerous. What I mostly want to know though, is why Seska decided to impregnate herself like that. Wha?!? That pretty much came out of nowhere. What was the point?

Anyway, this was still an enjoyable episode. Three stars.
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Carbetarian
Sun, Apr 17, 2011, 2:18pm (UTC -5)
Re: VOY S2: Cold Fire

Kes's raptor scream had me rolling in laughter! Haha, what was that??? I couldn't take Tuvok's exploding head scene seriously because I was too busy cracking up. Ha, did I just write "I couldn't take Tuvok's exploding head scene seriously"? Ridiculous.

Anyway, yes, I agree with Jammer. The consistent problem on Voyager was the writing. I think all the actors are both competent and very likable. There are even moments when I don't hate Neelix! But, the writing... Oh boy, the writing is awul!

However, sometimes the terrible writing provides some unintentional comedy, such as when Janeway went crazy and started speaking in tongues a few weeks ago in "twisted". In an odd way, I appreciate those moments. They keep the show from getting boring. Of course, it would be better if the show could be kept from being boring by actually being good. But, I digress.

Two stars for this episode from me.
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Carbetarian
Sat, Apr 16, 2011, 11:00pm (UTC -5)
Re: VOY S2: Tattoo

I agree with Jhoh. The comparison to Harry Kim finding dragons pretty much sums everything up. But, I'll still give this episode three stars based almost exclusively on two things:

1) Neelix getting pwned by that bird. HA!

2) The doctor gets sick, and becomes even more hilarious than usual.
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Carbetarian
Sat, Apr 16, 2011, 9:40pm (UTC -5)
Re: VOY S2: Persistence of Vision

I liked the aliens, and I liked some of the character moments. I also enjoyed watching Janeway slowly lose her marbles. This episode also gets points for letting us watch Neelix suffer for a few minutes, even if it wasn't real.

HOWEVER, what is up with Janeway's ridiculous British nanny holonovel?!? I couldn't believe they used that concept the first time it showed up, let alone that they've made it a recurring theme! Are we to believe that in Janeway's deepest, most enjoyable, fantasies she is having an affair with some random widower while being a servant to his entitled brat children and facing daily shank eyes from his creepy... What is the other female character in the holonovel supposed to be, anyway? The head nanny? Janeway fantasizes about being the underling of a power hungry 40 year old virgin in the British countryside? Really? I'm not buying any of this.

It's almost as if the writers of this show are trying to say that even the most powerful women secretly want to be motherly types who are kept by rich men. I understand that they wanted Janeway to be more maternal captain than Kirk, Picard or Sisko. But, something about this approach feels vaguely sexist. I don't know; the British holonovel just sucks. Worst concept ever.

The rest of the episode was good though. I felt it was a little better than two and a half stars. But, it wasn't quite up to three either. So, I suppose I concur with Jammer's two and a half stars on this one.
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Carbetarian
Fri, Apr 15, 2011, 8:20pm (UTC -5)
Re: VOY S2: Parturition

Ok, this episode was trite fluff. But, for some reason, I actually enjoyed watching it. It made me laugh a few times, and the story and characters moved along at a very watchable pace.

The only thing that I really thumbed my nose at here was that doofy looking alien baby. That thing looked straight out of that show "Dinosaurs" from back in the day. Even though it looked more like the older brother on the show than the baby, I still felt like yelling out "NOT THE MAMA! NOT THE MAMA!" every time it was shown on screen.

Anyway, I think this one was a two and half star episode for me. I felt it was on the better side of mediocre.
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Carbetarian
Fri, Apr 15, 2011, 12:03am (UTC -5)
Re: VOY S2: Non Sequitur

Ken - Personally, I don't care about how possible Star Trek politics actually are. I also don't presume to judge whether or not Star Trek really does present an "enlightened" future. As I said, it's fiction.

What I do care about, is a good story. This episode missed more than one opportunity to be a good story. That's all I want to discuss in my comments. I'm not here to debate the moral positions of Ayn Rand. I'm here to debate the emotional validity and questionable logic of Harry Kim's desire to get back to Voyager. If you have an opinion on the actual story in this episode, then discussion is welcome.
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Carbetarian
Thu, Apr 14, 2011, 8:36pm (UTC -5)
Re: VOY S2: Twisted

I'm with Jammer on this one. This episode is a fail, period, end of story.

It gets one star from me only because I laughed so hard at Janeway's random freak out in the holodeck. That part was so ridiculous, it was actually sort of fantastic.
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Carbetarian
Wed, Apr 13, 2011, 3:26pm (UTC -5)
Re: VOY S2: Non Sequitur

About these comments... It's fiction! Let it go already!

About this episode... Ugh. This episode did have some potential. I think that they could have made the dynamic they went with of wanting to get home at any cost work better if they had focused on Paris. Finding out what happens when Paris has an accident and wakes up a useless drunk in France would have been compelling. He also would have had a genuine reason to want to get back to the regular time line.

I also think this episode would have worked well if Harry had woken up in the scenario presented and had NOT wanted to correct the timeline. The episode could have been about the alien trying to force him back to Harry's regular timeline, or maybe even Voyager itself finding a way to pull him out of this alternate reality. Harry is always talking about how much he wants to go home. It's easy for me to imagine Harry seeing the events of the beginning of this episode as though he had just won the lottery. He's home, he's getting married, he has a great job... How cruel and dramatic would it have been for him to accept this new reality only to be "rescued" by Voyager? It would have been very powerful.

Also, in that scenario, they could have spent the last act showing how Harry deals with trying to balance gratitude that his friends on Voyager cared enough to rescue him (possibly at great risk to the ship) with the dissapointment of having his dream of getting home so aburptly snatched away from him. I for one would have welcomed that kind of depth in an otherwise boring character.

But, instead we get Kim acting like a starfleet robot who MUST go back to his reality because... Well, because it's the starfleet thing to do! I guess. I frankly have no idea why he would want to go back. Of course, there was also the matter of the terribly wooden acting and the paint by numbers ending. It was nice to see Earth again. But, all in all, the premise of this episode was completely wasted and over all the whole thing sucked.

One and a half stars from me.
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