Gene Roddenberry's Andromeda

Second Season Recap

For episodes airing from 10/1/2001 to 5/13/2002
Series created by Gene Roddenberry
Developed by Robert Hewitt Wolfe
Executive producers: Majel Roddenberry, Robert Hewitt Wolfe, Allan Eastman, Adam Haight, Jay Firestone, Kevin Sorbo

Review by Jamahl Epsicokhan

In brief: After the first half of the season, which was reasonably entertaining, the series descended rapidly into the gutter. In my book, it's nothing short of a disaster.

So here we are — another season, another recap article. Welcome to my all-around review of Andromeda's sophomore season. My recaps have previously been known by the self-appointed cliché, "the most comprehensive review I'll write this year," but this one might also be "the most negative review I'll write this year." If it comes across that way, then please interpret the sentiments of jest, of which there are plenty. Part one consists of the capsule reviews; part two is the commentary on the season as a whole. Feel free to agree, disagree, or punch your computer screen. Let's get on with it.

Part 1: Capsule Reviews

The Widening GyreAir date: 10/1/2001. Written by Robert Hewitt Wolfe. Directed by Allan Eastman.

The entertaining if implausible follow-up to over-the-top "Its Hour Come 'Round At Last" features — gasp! — the crew not dying after all! They get better, thanks to the first 10 minutes, which work about the same way as the Undo feature in Photoshop. Tyr and Harper (a.k.a. "We've been slimed!") are trapped on a wall and are ultimately saved from slaughter by Rev "Remember Me?" Bem, who goes Hannibal Lecter on the evil teddy-bear army drones, who, by the way, have visible zippers on their backs. Spirit of the Abyss (a.k.a. Mr. Flaming Lava Lamp) looks on menacingly. It ends with a Real Big Explosion, which makes for a poetic season bookend, since by finale time we come full circle and end with ... another Real Big Explosion.

Rating: 3 stars

Exit StrategiesAir date: 10/8/2001. Written by Matt Kiene & Joe Reinkemeyer. Directed by T.J. Scott.

The first episode featuring Action Hour in the snow (but not the first episode featuring Canadian forest locations), which makes for a visually refreshing change of pace. The episode proves that Tyr is the only Nietzschean who was DNA-enhanced with actual competence; the rest were enhanced with the much-coveted Disposable Evil Henchman and Can't Hit the Broad Side of a Barn genes. Meaty character moments center on the much-tortured Rev, perhaps being played method-acting style by the much-tortured Brent Stait. Fun, but don't look too closely or you're asking for trouble. Convincingly explain to me how a ship launched a few hundred miles an hour out of a magnetic accelerator can attain escape velocity and I'll send you an e-mail with absolutely no viruses in it.

Rating: 3 stars

A Heart for Falsehood FramedAir date: 10/15/2001. Written by Ethlie Ann Vare. Directed by David Winning.

A derivative plot, with derivative themes, not nearly enough emotional relevance, and too many of those damned heart artifacts. There are two of them, I think, but the way the plot employs them in the caper is clumsily handled. More clumsily handled is the (non)emotional arc for Beka as she supposedly comes close to falling in love with cocky-but-bland Leydon. Leydon is double-crossing swine anyway; why didn't I see that coming? (Oh, wait; I did.) The heart artifact contains a map that was or perhaps was not used to find the Engine of Creation in "In Heaven Now Are Three," but I can't be sure. Tyr gets in a fight for no reason but to have some guys get beaten up and/or added to the Weekly Gratuitous Body Count. Beka gets laid; Harper does not.

Rating: 2 stars

Pitiless as the SunAir date: 10/22/2001. Written by Emily Skopov. Directed by Richard Flower.

Hit-and-miss drama sees Trance interrogated by the Cigarette-Smoking Man and, in an interesting irony, she turns the tables in scenes that show how she, not he, is the one in control of this interview. But even Trance can't get him to reveal those missing keys to the X-Files. Dang. Much of this plot's implications are rendered either obsolete or less urgent in light of other developments stemming from the infamous "Trance-formation" in "Ouroboros." Regardless, even in the pre-"Ouroboros" Andromeda this episode can't hold its own as drama, playing more like a series of teasing Trance-hints. The Pyrians (a.k.a. Squids in Space) show up and talk in Creepy Alien Monotone™, to little interest or avail.

Rating: 2.5 stars

Last Call at the Broken HammerAir date: 10/29/2001. Teleplay by John Lloyd Parry. Story by Robert Hewitt Wolfe. Directed by David Winning.

To my knowledge, it's the only episode of Andromeda thus far to employ a saloon with batwing doors. This is fitting, since this is a Western trapped in an Andromeda episode. Much mayhem ensues, all over some woman named Ortiz, whom Dylan believes could be converted to one of his faithful denizens. Much to my dismay, the supposedly important Ortiz becomes utterly irrelevant after this episode, despite the fact she's supposed to be a major asset. Where did she go? Never mind, because we've got ACTION! The Teenage Mutant Ninja Kalderans (a.k.a. this week's fish in a barrel) prove to be the most incompetent assault force since the Magog. In a scene that is all too prevalent on the New Andromeda, the body count outpaces common sense 10 to one.

Rating: 2 stars

All Too Human Air date: 11/5/2001. Written by Ashley Edward Miller & Zack Stentz. Directed by T.J. Scott.

Rommie goes into kick-ass mode and shows who's boss. Inspired by the anime genre and the John Woo school of cinema, this is an episode that gets major points for its coolness factor. The plot involving AIs is reasonably intelligent. Rommie's adversary is interesting, if underutilized. The comic-book action is some of the more entertaining Andromeda action on record. For once, the obligatory ass-kicking actually kicks some ass. It could've been more substantive, but what this show does it does well.

Rating: 3 stars

Una Salus VictusAir date: 11/12/2001. Written by Ashley Edward Miller & Zack Stentz. Directed by Allan Kroeker.

Two words: Allan Kroeker. Like "All Too Human," this is an example of how to make an action episode move along swiftly. Deft handling of the A/B/C-plot structure is surprisingly effective. Tyr and Dylan get some excellent interaction and prove consistently watchable, even in the most hopelessly implausible of action sequences. Dylan pulls out Crazy Mofo Dylan and it works. Beka and Harper get appropriate subplots. All of it is assembled with great skill. If Action Hour Andromeda could always be this much fun there wouldn't be a problem. Unfortunately, reality is a different beast...

Rating: 3.5 stars

Home FiresAir date: 11/19/2001. Written by Ethlie Ann Vare. Directed by Michael Robison.

Rhade Redux — but a different Rhade who is an exact genetic duplicate of Gaheris. Plausible? No. Decent drama? Yes. I enjoyed the parallelism involving Rhade and how this figures into Dylan's past even if the odds of how it all plays out are probably googolplex to one. The frame-up plot is entertaining, although it has its share of holes. Lt. Brown should've had DEAD MEAT tattooed on his forehead (he apparently wrote one too many negative reviews). Favorite line: "Jamahl! Pull up!" Second favorite line: "AAAARRRGH!" [KABOOM] (Thanks, Ethlie.)

Rating: 3 stars

Into the LabyrinthAir date: 11/26/2001. Written by Ashley Edward Miller & Zack Stentz. Directed by Brad Turner.

Long-term plotting and good continuity show signs of making Andromeda more interesting as Harper's ongoing struggle with the Magog larvae figures significantly into a story that follows up "Harper 2.0" and "The Honey Offering." The dialog between Tyr and Charlemagne Bolivar is truly inspired; we need more characters written with this kind of wit and performed up to this level. Alas, the assassins (a.k.a. dumb, bright-colored action figures in the flesh) are laughable. This series needs far LESS of this sort of mindless cartoon violence, which detracts even from good episodes like this one. Harper comes slightly closer to getting laid here (he's straddled), but doesn't.

Rating: 3 stars

The Prince Air date: 1/14/2002. Written by Erik Oleson. Directed by Allan Eastman.

The Machiavellian plotting quietly carried out by Dylan and Tyr makes this episode somewhat interesting and proves that a measure of thought was going on below the episode's surface. Unfortunately, the production and acting aren't as convincing and the storyline is derivative. The Bad Guys are arbitrarily pre-assigned and painted with Anti-Subtlety, which undermines any possible gray areas. Andromeda's Super Battle Bots supply the routine, goofy, bloodless violence in a sequence that seems inspired by the ending of RoboCop 2 (minus the bloodshed, natch). That Dylan can get away with such a blunt show of force during the crowning of the prince he's backing is amazing.

Rating: 2.5 stars

Bunker HillAir date: 1/21/2002. Written by Matt Kiene & Joe Reinkemeyer. Directed by Richard Flower.

In which we see Earth's landscape as a single (bad) CG shot followed by lots of dim, dank tunnels — appropriate for an underground mission, but dissatisfying nonetheless. Harper is well employed as a would-be freedom fighter (even though he doesn't get laid) and the story's intentions are admirable. Execution, however, is too bland, right down to the stock, half-hearted chants of "Freedom!" and the overly confined perceived scope of the uprising. In subplotting news, Elsbett returns so she can strut around and be annoyingly haughty, even having the nerve this time not to sleep with Dylan. Then there's the on-again, off-again "war" (a.k.a. conveniently stoke-able subplot) between the Sabra-Jaguar and the Drago-Kazov, which is used as a plot point here but impossible to make sense of in the larger scheme of things, if one exists.

Rating: 2.5 stars

OuroborosAir date: 1/28/2002. Written by Robert Hewitt Wolfe. Directed by Jorge Montesi.

A messy, senseless time-travel outing with no emotional or logical arc, even for a time-travel show. Disjoined, chaotic, and largely meaningless, a rip in space-time here becomes story justification to pointlessly rehash every Action-Hour concept in the Andromeda bag-o-tricks. Magog. Kalderans. Shootouts. Explosions. The past, present, future, etc. — it's all here. I find, however, that I personally would rather be elsewhere. Rommie gets blue hair and Trance turns gold and can do karate and back-flips. Transition complete. (Oh yeah; Rev Bem is vaguely and unceremoniously written out of the show. Almost forgot about him.)

Rating: 1.5 stars

Lava and RocketsAir date: 2/4/2002. Written by Ashley Edward Miller & Zack Stentz. Directed by Michael Rohl.

Hunt the Hero and Molly the Blonde engage in much low-rent repartee that seems to think these two are Han Solo and Princess Leia. Watchable enough to chew through an hour, but move along, nothing to see here. The Action-Hour action is played out in the usually glib, predictable fashion, where characters are thrust into situations of contrived violence that emerge practically from nowhere and follow a logic only of their own (and not the story's). The Ogami — "fearsome mercenaries" — resemble yet another failed Halloween-mask concept who are about as scary and easily dispatched as an imp on Level 1 of Doom II (except they don't breathe fireballs). Dylan gets laid; Harper doesn't.

Rating: 2 stars

Be All My Sins RememberedAir date: 2/11/2002. Teleplay by Ethlie Ann Vare. Story by Jill Sherwin. Directed by Allan Eastman.

Another stage of Andromeda's continued campaign in the War Against Subtlety, in which Bobby, Beka's ex-lover, appears as a half-man, half-RoboCop villain whose story could've been told any number of ways that might've made him a character worthy of development instead of a boring and shallow megalomaniac. His garter-strapped girlfriend is one of the worst-conceived characters in the history of television (that I've seen), while alien-guy Lem carries a BFG that is unintentionally hilarious. Some of Beka's backstory is interesting (minus Bobby's ludicrous Rambo number), but her statement that this guy was "the love of her life" is utter nonsense based on what we see on the screen. Beka gets laid (via flashback); Harper doesn't (not even via flashback). And it ends with more lame kung-fu.

Rating: 1.5 stars

Dance of the MayfliesAir date: 2/18/2002. Teleplay by Robert Hewitt Wolfe. Story by Ashley Edward Miller & Zack Stentz. Directed by J. Miles Dale.

I could rehash the reasons why I think this laughable hour of camp-laden tripe is cinematic detritus and a general insult to the human intellect, but what would be the point? The good news: It made me laugh. The bad news: In all the wrong places.

Rating: 0.5 stars

In Heaven Now Are ThreeAir date: 2/25/2002. Teleplay by Emily Skopov. Story by Celeste Chan Wolfe. Directed by David Warry-Smith.

A vapid and cliché-ridden Indiana Jones rip-off using the budget and visual design of an Andromeda episode. You do the math.

Rating: 1.5 stars

The Things We Cannot ChangeAir date: 4/8/2002. Written by Ethlie Ann Vare. Directed by Jorge Montesi.

A clip show whose clips often seem like they were picked with the help of a random-number generator. The framing device, meanwhile, lacks genuine interest. The actor playing Dylan's wife is bad, and the son is even worse. Simpleminded Hero Dylan's closing statements of What This All Means reveal him to have the emotional and psychological depth of your average Mighty Morphin' Power Ranger. Dylan gets laid (in a dream); Harper doesn't (except maybe in an off-screen dream).

Rating: 1.5 stars

The Fair UnknownAir date: 4/15/2002. Written by John Lloyd Parry. Directed by Michael Rohl.

A reasonable step back toward something relevant, but the show supplies more questions than answers, and the plot is saddled with boring action scenes (including a second act whose action is both boring and interminable), and a Vedran guest character who falls into conflict with Dylan for no real good reason. The implication that the Vedrans (a.k.a. Blue Man Group) cut themselves off from slipstream raises a host of issues that will require eventual follow-up. Will we get it? Don't know, but until then, I'm less than thrilled with this episode, which is too mediocre as entertainment.

Rating: 2 stars

Belly of the BeastAir date: 4/22/2002. Written by Matt Kiene & Joe Reinkemeyer. Directed by Allan Harmon.

A prolonged lack of impetus to give Andromeda a positive review prompted me to give this episode a thumbs-up on my initial encounter. While not bad, I don't think this hour of unabashed cheese and reckless goofiness is quite enough to transcend "average." The plot ("planet-eating monster!") is the thinnest of thin and inconsequence, but the characterization is fairly effective in the way it shows Beka and Dylan (et al) trying to anticipate what the other will do. The happy ending walks a fine line between lightweight amusement and all-out embarrassment.

Rating: 2.5 stars

The Knight, Death, and the DevilAir date: 4/29/2002. Written by Ashley Edward Miller & Zack Stentz. Directed by Richard Flower.

A genuinely good episode after nearly a half-season of dreck, in which High Guard starships are seen by Dylan as prisoners of war because of their AI cores — an intriguing concept. Michael Hurst goes down as one of this series' best guest stars to date, as an AI who turns out to be a rather complex character. Good storytelling, some nice arguments, and action that makes sense within the confines of the plot. A throwback of sorts to the Andromeda that used to be worth watching.

Rating: 3 stars

Immaculate PerceptionAir date: 5/6/2002. Written by Matt Kiene & Joe Reinkemeyer. Directed by J. Miles Dale.

The second of back-to-back winners, in which Tyr is studied as a character in a storyline that plays as grand melodrama. His son is the Nietzschean messiah? Whoa. Self-serving to the end, but not in a simpleminded way, Tyr's ruthlessness allows an entire colony to be slaughtered in order to save himself and his son. Freya's death, on the other hand, is relentlessly by-the-numbers. Tyr's speech to Dylan at the end is so passionate that it takes on a sort of epic, cosmic-comedy quality when we realize that it's all a super-calculated lie, performed to Nietzschean perfection. Also, Tyr gets laid; Harper doesn't.

Rating: 3 stars

Tunnel at the End of the LightAir date: 5/13/2002. Written by Matt Kiene & Joe Reinkemeyer. Directed by Allan Eastman.

The Commonwealth charter is to be signed (where did all these new members come from, and when, and how, and why, and...?) when the Andromeda is attacked by Phase-Shifting Invisible Bad Guys From Another Universe. Yes. It's further proof that the higher-ups at Andromeda mistake quantity for quality, and think what we want to see is LOTS AND LOTS of ships streaming out of a spatial rift and attacking Our Heroes. Guess what: It's NOT what I want to see. The solution to this week's problem (a variation on perhaps most weeks' problems) is to blow 'em all to hell with the largest imaginable explosion. And — YEAH! — we do. If incoherent space battles and an ending with Stuff Getting Blowed Up Real Good is what you want to see, then this is the Andromeda for you. I personally like a trace of wit/drama/imagination in my entertainment, not simply the notion — without context — that Something Big Is Happening on a ridiculously large scale.

Rating: 1.5 stars

Part 2: Season Analysis

As noted at the outset, 2002 charted this series' rapid descent into nothing that interests me. It had its isolated moments of inspiration and respectable efforts, but in terms of the big picture and lasting impressions, my feelings reside somewhere between bitter cynicism and total apathy. Near the season's end, week after week I was trying to feel some sort of enthusiasm, but every week I found myself more disenchanted.

The season started out well enough. Despite some missteps and mediocre early outings like "Last Call at the Broken Hammer" and "A Heart for Falsehood Framed," the run beginning with season premiere "The Widening Gyre" through to December was admirable, featuring a number of entertaining shows like "Una Salus Victus," "All Too Human," and "Into the Labyrinth." Indeed, by winter hiatus after "Labyrinth" aired, I wrote: "Andromeda is really shaping up, and has had a respectable second season so far. The overall gain in momentum and narrative clarity ... is apparent." But then, beginning in January, came a near-total collapse. What went wrong?

The easiest answer would be to attribute Andromeda's mid- and late-season woes to the staff turmoil and the eventual departure of head writer/developer Robert Hewitt Wolfe. That would be the simplest thing — to point and say, "That's why this season was a failure." Does that represent reality? I'm not sure. Television is a strange beast where cause and effect can be very difficult to accurately line up together. What's covered in the press and what's said online by the writers is undoubtedly only part of the story; we will never know the rest. For that matter, we will never know how much of the writers' original vision for the show was allowed to make it to the screen, or how much was changed by the Tribune Powers That Be. (It's remarkable to think that Deep Space Nine, in its day, had the freedom from Paramount to mostly do what it wanted on its own terms; it seems that's a rarity anymore.) But really, that's all irrelevant when it comes down to it. What's relevant is what we have in front of us on our TV screens. So, back in December when the news of Wolfe's firing broke, I was perfectly fine to watch the show and not speculate on what the future of Andromeda would be like without him.

But then we got the middle and end stages of the season, reportedly the post-Wolfe Andromeda.

Coincidence or not, attributable to Wolfe's departure or not, the episodes after "Into the Labyrinth" represented a free-fall to the bottom of the barrel, with only the occasional reprieve into reasonable storytelling via episodes like "The Knight, Death, and the Devil" and "Immaculate Perception." How the series went wrong is not at all difficult to examine, seeing as when it comes to broad strokes of anything, including its own trends, Andromeda isn't exactly subtle. Its faults are completely apparent, front-and-center. Let's take a look at them.

Fundamental Problem #1: Action-Hour mentality

It very well may be that by definition this series is not something that agrees with me, because I simply don't subscribe to the TV "Action Hour" mentality. I want to be totally clear on this: When done well, I like action. I enjoy action movies on a regular basis, and I'm probably even more likely to spend money on a summer action blockbuster than on many, if not most, other genres. (My favorite action movies include Die Hard, The Matrix, Terminator 2, the Lethal Weapon series, and many others.) So I don't want to hear that I'm against action.

What I'm against is LAME mind-numbing action that exists without context or aesthetic value. Unfortunately, that's what nearly all of Andromeda's "action" is. So much of Andromeda's ridiculous action this season has been the kind that I honestly believe can't be enjoyed by anyone but the least discriminating. Interminable shootouts where the good guys always hit their targets and the bad guys are always stupid and/or faceless and/or can't hit the broad side of a barn. Prolonged kung-fu scenes that are so poorly staged/choreographed as to be laughable. Body counts that are absurdly high (yet bloodless, unnecessary, and with no dramatic impact), making episodes look exactly like cartoons or video games.

I've seen the press quotes that go on about how Andromeda is a low-budget series where every penny is milked for as much as humanly possible, and that the pyrotechnic people go the extra mile to make the show look great. While they may deserve the kudos for their hard work and effort, I've got news for you: The action doesn't usually look great; it looks cheap. I don't like the style. That in itself would be okay if it weren't for the fact that far, far, FAR too often the show puts its cheap-looking action sequences ahead of the storyline. If you can't do action right, then for crying out loud, don't do it at all. But don't give us a cheesy, endless firefight and think it's entertaining just because there are a lot of spark-squibs captured on film.

That brings up another thing — quantity over quality, which has always been a problem in the way this series employs action. Rather than giving us one image that looks good, the creators would rather inundate us with an interminable sequence of contrived action that stretches out to unwatchable length and does little for the story but stop it dead in its tracks. Enough with the action. I don't give a damn about it, and it's not doing its job of keeping me entertained on even a superficial level. Give me some actual drama instead.

I feel like I've beaten this argument like a dead horse. Unfortunately, that's only because Andromeda has beaten the Action Hour horse with equal relentlessness.

Fundamental Problem #2: The camp factor

The marketing bills Andromeda as the "#1 Action Hour." They also might want to start calling it the "#1 Camp Hour." Alas, I did not come to Andromeda because I wanted to watch camp. But this season the show has gone from what was a lighter-played space opera with dark undertones to a virtual week-in, week-out hour of camp. Even the best of the hours like "Una Salus Victus" suffer from bouts of silliness. The worst end up like "Dance of the Mayflies," "Be All My Sins Remembered," "In Heaven Now Are Three," or "Ouroboros," where bad-movie clichés lurk in every corner and make you wonder if you're laughing because you don't want to admit that you're watching wretched television.

Camp is hard to attribute to any one thing, but it's a combination of over-stylized production values mixed with a general attitude of melodramatic flair and storyline goofiness. There's a lot more of that these days than there was last season. Just look at the season finale, about an alien invasion of 10,000 ships (or "Mayflies," where zombies are zapped with 10,000 volts); there's no attempt for the least bit of restraint. Whenever the creators can go over the top with unapologetic zaniness, they do.

The camp factor of course goes hand-in-hand with the Action Hour issue, in which violence is cartoonish and therefore impossible to take even the slightest bit seriously. Personally, I like my violence to pack some punch, not provide a circus sideshow.

Fundamental Problem #3: The War Against Subtlety

Whenever I read a Kevin Sorbo interview, I just want to cringe. Particularly lately, when Sorbo goes on at length about how the series needs to be "more fun" and how people want to see "the good guy winning over the bad guy." And the next time I hear "what viewers want" in any way tied back to the tragedy of Sept. 11, asses will be kicked.

Anyway. One could argue that this show was never really Gene Roddenberry's Andromeda. It was probably more Robert Hewitt Wolfe's Andromeda than anything else. Unfortunately, these days it looks more and more like it's becoming Kevin Sorbo's Andromeda. Yes, I know he's the star, etc., etc., but if the press is any indication, Sorbo is a big reason why the show has changed so much, just as Patrick Stewart reportedly changed the tone of Star Trek: Insurrection a few years ago. I don't doubt that Sorbo thinks he's doing the right thing, but I certainly don't agree with his quotes in the press and what has been manifesting itself on the screen since Wolfe's departure.

We have Trance and Rommie, both visually redesigned in a cartoon-like manner. Rommie's blue hair is awful; Trance's gold makeup is just as bad (not that I was ever a huge fan of the purple, but never mind). Costuming in general (particularly for the women) has gone garishly over the top. But those are superficial changes. More disturbing are the trends I've seen in some of the dialog, characters, and plots. They have a tendency to hit us with a sledgehammer instead of taking more subtle approaches. Much of the humor has also degenerated into the annoyingly obvious, like with Dylan's excessive Action Hero One-Liners. This was a problem last year, but it's become an even bigger problem this year.


This season was not a particularly good one for developing our main characters. Indeed, some of the characters have regressed. The most depressing trend is the anchor, Captain Dylan Hunt, who has gone from a somewhat multifaceted character to a bland Action Hero who gets to bag the chicks and beat the bad guys. He's a nice guy with a crew he likes, but as a character he's become a bastion of the simpleminded, which is downright infuriating. His big moment at the end of "The Things We Cannot Change," for example, is to recite a stock-issue mantra about being a starship captain when he should be pondering a troubling and emotional revelation. I'm also increasingly unimpressed with Sorbo's lackluster performances.

Meanwhile, the most flat-out annoying character these days is Beka Valentine, who very often has the thankless role of providing Smart-Alecky Exposition. It seems like Beka is always the one who gets the dialog that is too-obviously solely for the audience's benefit, like in "The Fair Unknown" when she explains the history of Tarn-Vedra in a scene that plays like a viewer refresher course. I'm not a fan of the way Lisa Ryder delivers these lines, in that chipper, rapid-fire, smart-ass tone, as if to say she's aware that the expositional dialog is ridiculous and that it must therefore be delivered as a flippant joke. (At least when Harper is annoying, it's funny. With Beka, it's not.) While some stories attempted to give Beka some depth, both her headliners ("A Heart for Falsehood Framed" and "Be All My Sins Remembered") were dismal failures.

Harper, by contrast, has become less annoying as sort of an acquired taste. He still hasn't gotten laid, but he's a character who usually invites a smile with his quick-witted asides. And every once in a while he gets a chance to chew on a meaty storyline (e.g. "Bunker Hill"). He had the whole Magog-larvae story arc in the early part of the season, which mostly worked.

Trance and Rommie I'm mostly neutral on. Trance is, thankfully, far less of a winking magic wand than in season one (though it's still an occasional annoyance), and her swap in "Ouroboros" at least has the possibility of giving glimpses into the future. Rommie is the cool-headed but occasionally ruthless AI who is convincing as a warship/warrior. I'm more uncertain about her whole "human question" bit, a been-there-done-that with virtually all sci-fi involving AI.

Tyr went through some weird stages this season that seemed to be toning the character down (probably not a good thing, in my view), but "Immaculate Perception" threw him (and us) a curveball that revealed him to be as true to Tyr as ever.

Then there's Rev Bem, whose absence leaves a true and difficult void. Rev was this series' moral compass and the best avenue for philosophizing. He was perhaps prone to dramatic overstatement from time to time, but at least he represented some higher thought and insight. With Rev gone, also gone is much of the series' depth. Dylan no longer has a spiritual/emotional confidant, which only further permits the Simple Hero Dylan to assert itself. Rev was an important piece to this series, and I think his absence has revealed that. The way he left the show was horribly dissatisfying. I understand it was a tough call for the writers — not knowing whether Brent Stait would be able to return — but the manner of Rev's exit is about as close to a worst-case scenario as you can get.

The Commonwealth

When it comes to the Commonwealth, I want to scratch my head in confusion. The Commonwealth storyline is something with inherent depth — the original mission of the series — but it was shuttled through this season off-screen and on autopilot. "The Widening Gyre" suggested that the Commonwealth was imperative purely on the basis of defense, but this season took the Commonwealth absolutely no further in terms of actual analysis. Who would want to join it and why? What kind of political issues would present themselves? What kind of values would member worlds need to adopt in order to join? And, for that matter, why would a world want to join in the first place, especially if it's going to put them on the front line of intergalactic war?

Intriguing questions, all of which went virtually unanswered and unasked. Suddenly, come end of the season, we've got the new charter about to be signed. We're supplied no sense for how we got from A to B; we're just informed that we've got our 50 worlds and that today is the New Commonwealth's day. Remember Ortiz from "Last Call at the Broken Hammer"? We never heard from her again, and apparently, in a mere six months, the universe (or 50 worlds anyway — what about the rest of the universe?) pulled a 180 from its stance of being invested in a status quo that wanted nothing to do with a new Commonwealth.

I have absolutely no problem with wrapping up the Commonwealth storyline and moving on to new things. In fact, two seasons is an adequate amount of television time to devote to a major background story arc — more than enough time, in fact. Unfortunately, so little of this time was actually spent on establishing the Commonwealth beyond the most superficial of meetings and negotiations. We have a Commonwealth, but I don't know what it, or any of its members, stands for or why. And we're supposed to believe that based on such a flimsy alliance, the new "Commonwealth fleet" is ready to engage the Evil Threat From Another Universe ("Tunnel at the End of the Light"). I'm sorry, but I don't buy it.

Dylan's Commonwealth — as it stands right now — is a sham and a dramatic cop-out.


Last season my biggest complaint was with execution. The show had a good underlying philosophy, which was one based on continuity, a goal-oriented premise, and the building of characters and societal relationships. It wasn't successful, but the problems were more with acting, production, and story flow. This season, by contrast, has done more to destroy what the show once stood for in favor of a general dumbing-down of the series. While the use of episode-to-episode continuity hasn't been abandoned, little of it makes sense under scrutiny or has any persuasive direction. Meanwhile, the overall storytelling technique makes Voyager look subtle and sophisticated. While I'm mildly curious to know what new head writer Robert Engels can bring to the table, I can't honestly say that I care to watch the show to find out.

So it's at this juncture where I say that I'm finished reviewing Andromeda. There's simply no reason for me to continue, because I don't enjoy it anymore and I feel like I'm just bitching in a vacuum. Besides, the amount of e-mail I receive in regard to my Andromeda reviews has significantly dropped off this season. Every once in a while I'll get a stray e-mail, but it's rarely to debate the shows any further but instead to tell me how the viewer had given up watching the show months ago. The message this sends me is that (A) interest in my reviews has diminished, (B) interest in the show has diminished among my readers, (C) both, or (D) the people who still like the show don't want to read unrelenting negative reviews about it, for which I can hardly blame them. So it serves no one any purpose for me to continue — particularly myself, since it's an ongoing and increasingly unrewarding drain on my time, which would be better spent on other ventures. (I'm looking forward to reviewing just Enterprise next fall, and not being behind on reviews all the time. If you're wondering if I'll be reviewing Farscape or Stargate SG1 or another show in Andromeda's stead, the answer is no.)

Back when Andromeda first started, Ashley Miller told me the writers actually read my reviews and considered what I had to say. That was nice to know. I have no idea if that's still the case, but it really doesn't matter, because TV writers are not able to make changes to a show based on a few vocal critical opinions; it's just not practical. And it's become increasingly clear to me that what I'd like to see in Andromeda is a very different thing than what Tribune wants to produce. Such is life. I think it's admirable that the writing staff still listens to its online fans; I just don't believe that it actually matters in a real-world entertainment-industry environment that believes the lowest common denominator is the target audience.

Best of luck to Ash & Zack (hopefully you know I'm still rooting for you guys) and the rest of the Andromeda staff in improving the show into something more frequently watchable, even to those of us who aren't interested merely in seeing an action hour where the good guys win.

Previous: Season 1

◄ Season Index

65 comments on this post

Chris J.
Sun, Jan 6, 2008, 11:05pm (UTC -6)
I have to say, there was a certain charm to this show. Sadly, I think most of that charm flowed from the premise that the show was riding on – ultimately a premise that was never to be paid off or developed very effectively.

Really, the show has a fantastic premise when you look at it.

A single warship of the Commonwealth – the most cultured and powerful civilization ever to colonize the stars, a real stand-in for the Federation – is frozen in time on the brink of a war. Not just a war, but a holocaust. Three centuries pass. The ship awakens to find out that much of civilization has collapsed or regressed. The Commonwealth as an institution is dead as a doornail. Principles have changed, and the galaxy is no longer a safe place. Populations are hammered by foreign invasions, piracy, and whatever other horrible threats.

Its equal to being alive at the height of the classical period of the Roman Empire, and being frozen in time to be reanimated in the middle of the 700s. By then, Europe has completely changed – in many ways for the worse. Great centers of populations have dwindled, governments have come and gone, science and technology have lapsed in many areas (although pressed ahead in some),foreign invasions and feudal politics have decimated trade, parochialism has lurched into many regions, reading and writing no longer have any high importance, and so on. My point is made.

That’s one hell of a premise. It implies a great question. Can egalitarian principles survive, and find fertile soil to grow in the midst of a Dark Age?

Its a darn shame that the show never pursues its premise in any serious and consistent way. It floats around aimlessly, focusing on mindless adventure, explosions, badly choreographed fights, and metaphysical babble – which is just as bad as Star Trek’s use of technobabble. Instead of being focused on realism, and asking questions, the show just likes to romp around the stars.

The show has its moments. But they are brief, and seem like islands in a sea of clumsy execution. I don’t mean to be cruel to the show, and I think it has some standout moments, but it has serious faults that I think need to be addressed. Ultimately, it never tries to be different from typical sci-fi that has been seen and done, and never goes for an angle of realism.

In its worst moments, it truly does descend into Hercules in Space. Goofiness is just too much at odds with the premise. I’m not sure if this show could ever have reached the potential that it has in my mind (and I think the premise rivals Battlestar Galactica’s, but is light-years behind in execution) given that the hands that controlled it obviously had no interest in taking it to the places it should have gone.
Sat, Jan 12, 2008, 10:43pm (UTC -6)
Ok bad costumes, bad makeup, bad hair, season 1 was fun, I loved the cute trance. Tyr

was HOT. Dylan was not objectionable and was ok.
Season 2. Makeup better, Trance more interesting, Harper whiny, Tyr HOT.
Season 3 Makeup better, not sure what happened with Bem. Would have liked to have

seen more done with Trance, she became a Warrior woman and kinda stopped saying

lines, I think she couldn't move underneath her hair, possibly her neck could have snapped.

Missed old trance. Perseids became interesting, decided I liked Romy. Tyr HOT. Dylan

begins to take over more of the show (considering I tend to zone out when he is on the air, this is not a good thing) his acting range? bored to condescending.
Season 4. What happened with Tyr's hair! Rhade makes sense as a replacement to Tyr since the death scene between himself and Dylan takes up approximately 30% of screen time from season 1-5, so feel as if he is already a regular crew member. He gets the "kick me" sign from Harper and is emasculated immediately (Sorbo's fears of female fans thinking someone else is HOT? Dylan begins his descent into skulking shadowy figure, by season five he transforms fully into skulking dirty old man, what he does with Doyle after knowing he was screwing a black hole avatar for 300 years was ....well a Red Sonya moment.) I like Beka by now, and Trance lost some of the weight in her hair so is beginning to run around....too bad her costume weighs as much as she does, maybe it helps keep her feet on the ship.
I really liked the Cliffhanger from this season A LOT.
Season 5 mmms....where to begin...mmmms
Somehow in the route of ages, all abilities of everyone in the universe is grafted onto

Dylan, whenever a character displays an interesting characteristic unique to them, Dylan

assumes it and has the power of the star Avatar, has robots following him at will, has

unique genetic markers, etc. Kevin Sorbo should never be allowed to influence writers in

an ensemble cast, unless it is an ensemble cast of one. Doyle was awful, I call her

FastForward. As soon as I saw her I fastforwarded. I missed Romy, I began to theorize

that she must have anchored Dylan/Sorbo's multiple personality disorder. Rhade is HOT. I

miss Harper whining. Beka as mother of all Nietschiens is a good way to try and

emasculate Nietschiens that competes with Sorbo. Rhade is still hotter than the one-dimensional skulking, kinda by now creepy Dylan.

Doyle taking so much control over getting Romy back online really was annoying. Where

was Harper? I suppose following Dylan around Doyle took on his multiple (I have the

powerofeveryoneelse or is that Greystroke? but heck even He-Man let the other characters go to the bathroom by themselves.) By the end Doyle is also psychic, still part of the ship, and shadowing Romy which made me scream everytime I would see her iin a shot with Romy. She also went from being Harper to Dylan to independent after Romy to Dylan's slave again. It was pretty hard to observe, and extremely annoying. I think they wanted to rip off other Sci Fi series but without the writing staff on this last season. The end is the worst of any series I have ever seen, Sci Fi or otherwise.
In conclusion: Kevin Sorbo should never be allowed to be in an ensemble cast unless it is one, the writer's strike should have a clause in it that would forbid actors from any clout with the writing (UNLESS requested by the writers). Kevin Sorbo should be given definition of what a porn video is and if he wants to make one there are better places and if he wants to have a porn feel that works in sci fi go rent Lexx, Stanley has more sensuality than Dylan and would have pulled off the sex scenes much better. Or perhaps take Brooke Shields advice when she did Blue Lagoon, when she had an orgasm someone pinched her toe....yeah that's it have a toe pincher handy for Sorbo's sex scenes to get more range.

My point is this.

I wish that Dylan had disappeared in Season II, the money they saved in his salary applied towards better writers, and that Season Three DVDS all be sold with a sticker that says "this begins 'from bad' and season five 'to worse' on it.

If Sheena the movie actress (aka: the worst charlie's angel)/ Doyle/ Kevin Sorbo/ and Brighitte Nielson (sp) ever got together to make a movie, it would be enough anti-matter to create a black hole.

Otherwise, reading Robert Wolfe's Coda, and the screenplay of how he envisioned the final show made me understand how much more important good writers are than beefed up dumbed down actors.

I miss Trance/Harper/Tyr/Rev/Romy ... they could have carried the show much better by themselves and with a lot less sexual repression.

This is why sci fi fans prefer no names to do these shows, if the show works, no ego to muck it up.
Mon, Jan 31, 2011, 7:19pm (UTC -6)
Recently I had the chance to watch a few Andromeda episodes for free (a pal of mine had purchased a collection of DVDs). It was the first time I chose which episodes to watch _after_ peeking at your ratings.

I'm afraid you were right to stop reviewing the show at this point since the first couple of episodes of season 3 were even worse than most of what came before. If anyone is interested: the only episodes worth watching in season 3 are The Dark Backward (starring Trance, concentrating her time manipulation capabilities - decent, not that great), The Unconquerable Man (a game of "what if Dylan had lost against Rhade" - surprisingly clever) and maybe Shadows Cast by a Final Salute and What Happens to a Rev Deferred, if you are interested in the characters' further ways.

It's sad to see a show with all these intriguing elements go down like this. On the other hand, a failed original can still inspire excellent remakes (see Battlestar Galactica, for example).
Mon, May 23, 2011, 6:18pm (UTC -6)
Just one more thing: After watching BSG, I was surprised how many familiar faces I saw in later Andromeda episodes (like Aaron Douglas, Paul Campbell and Michael Hogan). Eventually, your complaints about abysmal guest acting in Andromeda have provoked the right reactions, it seems.
Thu, Feb 9, 2012, 6:13am (UTC -6)
I just watched season 3 (yes i'm a masochist!!). The story arc of the series was totally abandoned and the series became "the adventures of captain Hunt" something like a bad star trek (a really bad one). From the 22 episodes only 3 (four at the most) deserve more than 2 stars.
Mon, Feb 13, 2012, 2:52pm (UTC -6)
Is there anything worst from Andromeda season 3? Yes Andromeda season 4!
Is there anything worst than Amdromeda season 4? Yes Andromeda season 5!
Can anyone explain to me how this series managed to survive for 5 seasons?
Fri, Mar 2, 2012, 12:11am (UTC -6)
This show was uploaded to Netflix UK last night and given the sparse amount of science-fiction programs on the service, I thought I'd give it a try.

Honestly, I struggled to get through the pilot, so I came here to check out some reviews. I'm so glad I did- you've saved me some time.
Fri, Dec 28, 2012, 8:40pm (UTC -6)
Jammer... In season three is one (yes, only one) good episode - "The Lone and Level Sands" with Star Trek fan seervice (gold-red-blue uniform code) and typically Trek themes: exploration, captain Ahab allusions, moral conflicts. It is be nice to see your review of this one (and only this one) from ANDR too.
Fri, Dec 28, 2012, 9:14pm (UTC -6)
ps. IMHO this episode fixing up first half of Second Season quality with First Season's intellectual ambitions and idea driven plot. Maybe it is haven't best episodes of Big Three (TOS/TNG/DS9) quality, but is at last that good, as VGR's less forgottable ones. Only bad thing in "The Lone and Level Sands" is really wooden (and non Kirk-ish anymore, without Wolfe over his head), anti-charismatic Sorbo.
Sugar Cougar
Sat, Dec 29, 2012, 6:05am (UTC -6)

"The Lone and Level Sands" final scene is excellent Star Trek commentary too, confronting Dylan's (Sisko's, Babylon 5 commanders') military (and political) work with classic Kirk&Picard exploration (boldly going) style.

But... There is one more big minus - Tyr's moustache. That hurts.
Sat, Dec 29, 2012, 6:51am (UTC -6)
Ah, Sugar, the final dialogue (or rather Dylan's monologue)... I call it Majel's Revenge or The Wrath of Barrett ;)
Sugar Cougar
Sat, Dec 29, 2012, 10:25am (UTC -6)
Roddenberrys' Revange sounds better ;)
John Bryan
Tue, Jan 15, 2013, 2:41pm (UTC -6)
Ok this is a review of Andromeda I wrote sometime ago so ignore the references to Stargate and BSG still being on air.

Also its not as in-depth as Jammers but it was basically just me venting my rage at this show. Be aware it is quite long winded I may have to cut it down to size someday.

I really wanted to like this show but just a few things stopped me, the need for decent acting three dimensional characters, coherent plots and in Sci-Fi decent effects as well.

I’m a big science fiction fan and will give every new show that comes along a try sometimes in the cases of Farscape and Battlestar Galactica, to name just two you discover that they’re just so good that you are immediately gripped and that you’ll buy the DVD's so you can watch every episode again and again even the episodes that aren’t that good. On the other hand, as in my case with Firefly I missed it on TV I saw it on DVD and it was worth taking the chance on a show I'd never seen before.

However back to the subject of Andromeda the opposite end from the shows I just mentioned, this show is a nothing more than a complete joke and gives television science fiction and indeed science fiction in general a bad name it has been poorly written and acted since the first episode and should never have lasted five episodes let alone five seasons.

I started watching and I wanted to like it I really did it should have been easy coming from the mind of Gene Roddenberry brought to life by Robert Hewitt Wolfe and starring Kevin Sorbo who may not be the greatest actor in the world but he was very good in Hercules, so I tried to like it, I honestly did I watched every episode of the first season then about half the episodes of season 2 which is where everything began to go seriously wrong.

Season one to me was pointless and not particularly great in the way it was written but it was at the least watchable in a sort of lazy time passing substandard way.

But Season 2 undermined what little effort had gone into it so I sat continually hoping that it would improve and show the full potential it had hinted at but it never did and I just decided it wasn’t worth my time or effort.

In my opinion it suffered from a case of too many cooks so it has had no sense of direction and any arcs it tried to create were immediately junked when someone new came in and they tried to imprint their own ideas. When Robert Hewitt Wolfe was at the helm it was poor but there were glimpses, small ones only but glimpses anyhow that it could improve but then he was fired for seemingly trying to make even a half decent Sci-Fi show.

From then on it was downhill becoming a messy flashy thing where effects were the best thing about it and most of them were rough and looked to computer animated giving an already unrealistic and stupid show one more reason for people to hate it while story and acting took a back seat with Kevin Sorbo basically rehashing Hercules and the rest of the cast standing in the background getting to spout the occasional line of meaningless dialogue, it’s no wonder Keith Hamilton Cobb left as soon as his contract expired he’d spent his last two years on the show reduced to standing in the background looking mean and having about two episodes showcasing his character now I’m not saying he’s a brilliant actor but he was good enough to bring Tyr Anazazi the Nieztechien warrior to life and make him an interesting character even if only he’d been allowed.

The characterisations were paper-thin and with the exception of Dylan Hunt and Harper badly acted not that I think Gordon Michael Woolvet is exactly a great actor either but he could do the comedy stuff he was given and deliver it well even if it was hardly ever as funny as the writers wanted it to be, but now I see him as a poor imitation of Firefly’s Wash even though Harper came first a statement that on the face of it makes as much sense as the average episode.

Lisa Ryder as Beka on the other hand was especially bad wearing the same expressionless face for whatever her character was meant to be feeling, she is a bad actress and here’s hoping she never darkens the door of either Stargate show and especially not Battlestar Galactica. But the worst acted and most annoyingly pointless character was Laura Bertram as Trance Gemini from the start she was annoying where she was meant to be cute and friendly irritating where she was supposed to be mysterious and the viewers were supposed to care what her secrets were, a lethal combination of a bad actress and dozens of mediocre to just down right bad writers meant she just made the character come across as smug making you want to throw something at the screen when she was on and yell at Dylan to toss her out of an airlock. I really hope never to see her ruining anything on tv ever again.

As for Dylan Hunt he was the ultimate moronic cardboard hero never wrong always did the right thing and was sanctimonious from the outset. I’d tuned in every now and then during seasons 3, 4 and 5 to see if things had gotten better to discover they hadn’t they’d gotten worse and now Dylan had become even more indestructible and annoyingly smug and superior and now didn’t let any other character get even the most simple thing to do he just hogged the screen time solving every tedious problem that faced him by beating up the bad guys or shooting them with that stupid laser stick of his no doubt as a result of Sorbo becoming an executive producer.

As for Bacic and the other blonde who cares what her name is not as bad as bottle blonde No.1 Ryder but not hard to tell she’s ex Baywatch they came in and were just as average as I’d come to expect from this show. As for the final episodes The Heart of the Journey Part’s 1 & 2 the first part seemed like it might at least take the series out with some kind of a bang with Harper and Rhade looking like they’d left the crew for good then a tense and even unexpected ending to part 1 with the destruction of Earth but it was ruined in part 2 yes Earth was destroyed but it had never seemed like it mattered to much during the run so blowing it up had little impact and the ending was lame and not even a good ending if it had just been a season finale but this was the last ever episode and what do we get everyone looking like they’re about to die the Andromeda against over two thousand ships and it survives then they fly into the square thing and everything is all right and everyone survives what a complete cop out, I mean it’s the final episode what would have been wrong with killing off at least one of the crew I mean if I had have had the bad luck to have had anything to do with this shambles I would have at least taken the opportunity to knock off the supremely annoying Trance but no she gets to live. At the top I called this Dylan Hunt the Legendary Journey’s in reference obviously to Hercules Sorbo’s last show, but that is insulting at least Hercules was entertaining even when the acting did sometimes leave a lot to be desired and the stories were just silly this show was just a complete waste of time and how on earth this lasted longer than Farscape or Firefly I will never understand and think about it this pile of garbage lasted as long as and for as many episodes as Angel and Babylon 5 for crying out loud it just makes no sense to me.

As for the quotes that appeared at the start of each episode and the episode titles what were they all about, I assume they were supposed to bring some deep meaningful insight to the story but they never did they were just more meaningless words. Then there’s they opening credit speech voiced with the exception of season 2 by Sorbo as Capt. Hunt as each season passed they became ever more ridiculous, they had neither the meaning nor the simplicity of the Space the final frontier speeches of the original Star Trek or the ST: TNG.

I can’t ever imagine this is the show Gene Roddenberry wanted made from his original ideas but it was and will forever be linked with his name and that is a shame. Finally I read a reviewer, who said in their piece that this show was from the start darker than Farscape that person is seriously, seriously wrong and makes me wonder if they'd ever actually seen it. From where I sat the two are not even in the same league, when Farscape was dark characters were tortured or killed or sacrificed themselves like Zhaan or Crais, on Andromeda bad guys said horrible things and laughed before getting soundly thrashed by Captain Indestructible.

I hate this show I hate the design of the ship it’s big and ugly I hated the shallow one dimensional characters it is in my opinion a show that wouldn't even hold the attention of a 5 year old that anyone could enjoy it mystifies me that anyone could regard it as good well written well acted or in anyway anything other than worthless trash is astounding. As a fan of Sci-Fi I hate this show so much.
Sat, Feb 9, 2013, 2:23am (UTC -6)
The rant of John Bryan is spot-on.
And he makes a very good point. Why did this last for 5 seasons?
It should have been cancelled after Season 2, that would have been dignifying. The show had at least some sort of solid quality until this point. It was not great, but it was something you could still watch when there were no other more important Sci-Fi shows around.

The very seasons 3-4 were already unimaginably bad, something that should have never been put on TV, and it continued to become shittier and shittier. Season 5 was THE final insult, an emissary from hell if you wish. It had probably the worst episodes in it, i've ever seen in my life. There wasn't anything worthy for Sci-FI Fans left. I'd rather watch Reality-TV like Big Brother than Season 5 of Andromeda again.

And if you think about it that this show was allowed to last for 5 years, you have to become angry. Star Trek Enterprise, Firefly, Farscape, Stargate Atlantis, all shows that would have deserved to last longer, but did not get the chance because of..... reasons, while this show kept going on and on. Andromeda reminds me of Uwe Boll. A phenomenon that should have been stopped long before, but defiantly continued to produce shit for years.
Jo Jo Meastro
Thu, May 16, 2013, 6:52am (UTC -6)
Hmmmm....I had at one point considered giving Andromeda a go when I ran out of sci-fi shows to watch, but since its universally panned to the point of it sounding like the worst episodes of The A Team moved into space and given a severe dosage of brain damage...I might not bother even if I could somehow watch it for free! I liked Lexx which proves I'm all for fun camp space opera and groan-inducing silliness, but Andromeda sounds as though its not even remotely skillfully done and fails no matter which way you looked at it. It is a shame, it sounded like it could have had the workings of a good show had it been in less incompetent hands.
Tue, May 21, 2013, 9:46am (UTC -6)
I think that the show is worth watching, up til the point where Sorbo thinks he should have creative control of the show. At that point the show would have been better served without him and probably would have made more sense and had better continuity.
Wed, Aug 28, 2013, 8:43pm (UTC -6)
Shame you never reviewed the rest of the series. I wonder exactly how apoplectic season 5 would have made you ... if you thought season 2 was bad, you might have contemplated suicide by then.

Actually, I found the series quite enjoyable up until somewhere in season 3, when it started to get a little too ridiculous. That tone carried on through season 4, and season 5 was honestly .... I can't even describe it. Not only was the premise incredibly bad and basically threw out all character and plot development that ever happened, but it didn't make a lick of sense and was just hugely confusing in a very, very, VERY misguided attempt to appear mysterious and brainy.
Baron Samedi
Thu, Sep 4, 2014, 10:29pm (UTC -6)
Classic Episodes:

Excellent Episodes:
1. The Knight, Death, and the Devil – A substantive sci-fi ethical issue with good guest actors and welcome long-term plot developments. An episode this good after so much dreck was a real shock.
2. Una Salus Victus – Deftly balances A/B/C plots and makes great use of Tyr.
3. Immaculate Perception – The only time Tyr was put to good use in the second half of the season, showcasing him at his most scheming and Machiavellian. A great follow-up to “Double Helix”, one of the strongest episodes from the first season. Lays the foundation for what I hope will be another interesting follow-up. I also enjoyed seeing the crew’s hostile treatment of the despicable racial purists.
4. The Widening Gyre – As visually spectacular as the cliffhanger. Very fun if also completely preposterous.
5. Home Fires – The decision by Dylan to accept the democratic results of the election that found the planet rejecting the Commonwealth was a powerful one, even if the parallelism with the new Rhade felt contrived and overblown.

Good Episodes:
6. Into the Labyrinth – Harper’s best episode with effective long-term plotting, brought down by ludicrous (though somewhat fun) cartoonish action in the final act.
7. All Too Human – Fun action episode, if a bit thin.

Mediocre Episodes:
8. Belly of the Beast – I laughed, hard, at the song-and-dance at the end. Otherwise a decently competent if unremarkable space adventure.
9. Exit Strategies – Fairly entertaining action episode with good character moments (including Rev’s only significant and interesting role in the season), but nothing special.
10. Bunker Hill – Over-plotted, but some of it works. I feel like this would have been a good two-parter.
11. A Heart for Falsehood Framed – I found it more clever than Jamahl did. I neat story that uses the whole cast effectively despite plenty of flaws.
12. The Prince – A good premise (Dylan and Tyr offering contrasting advice to a young prince) brought down by over-the-top violence and lackluster execution.
13. Pitiless as the Sun – The interrogation was frustrating, but the Andromeda story was good.

Poor Episodes:
14. The Fair Unknown – I liked the alien design, but action was poorly-choreographed and endless, and the story provided too few answers dramatically.
15. Last Call at the Broken Hammer – The script needed some serious re-writes, with a ludicrously dumb action climax. Ortiz was somewhat interesting as a character, but what actually happened to her after this episode?

Awful Episodes (all after Wolfe’s departure):
16. Tunnel at the End of the Light – After two surprisingly excellent episodes, I began to wonder if the previous string of awfulness (see: 14 and the six episodes below) was just a blip – a momentary drop in quality as the show sought to find a new approach following Wolfe’s departure. Not so. This episode quickly eroded all remaining good faith. It’s mildly entertaining from an action perspective, but almost completely hollow. Jamahl’s trashing of it in his review was absolutely priceless. Big, dumb, poorly executed action against faceless villains that conveyed none of the drama the new Commonwealth required.
17. Ouroboros – An awful, incomprehensible mess, although at least it tried to have ideas.
18. Lave and Rockets – Completely forgettable. A love fest for Sorbo put on-screen full of bad ideas and bad action scenes.
19. In Heaven Now Are Three – Terrible action, low budget sets, dumb script.
20. The Things We Cannot Change – Lame excuse for a clip show, punctuated by egregious Sorbo self-worship.
21. Dance of the Mayflies – An unintentional comedic masterpiece. Goofy enough to be slightly entertaining. Really makes a spectacle of its own awfulness.
22. Be All My Sins Remembered – The worst hour of Andromeda yet. Ed Wood-style filmmaking here, with laughable costumes, acting, and action filling up the screen while a potentially interesting story remains in the backdrop.

I was optimistic about Andromeda after I finished the first season. It had a lot of promise, and the second season started fairly well. But wow, what a disaster it disintegrated into after “Home Fires”. Jamahl’s reviews and season recap are pretty much spot-on. After hearing ridiculously stupid/offensive statements made recently by Sorbo, I can’t help but feel more comfortable attributing his own influence to a lot of the show’s degradation in quality. I also got the impression that the budget dropped immensely in the second half of the season, as the show looked a lot cheaper from that point forward. Oddly, the Andromeda crew responded by making each episode more over-the-top (and thus, tacky looking) than the last. Sigh…I imagine the season’s body count to be well over a hundred, although I doubt anybody kept track.

Although the episodes 19-21 showed some promise, the characters all regressed significantly in the second half of the season. Tyr, once the strongest character, became a wimp, Rommie got an awful hair cut, Rev literally disappeared, Beka became a bland cipher, etc. Dylan worked in Season 1 as a contrast to sharp characters, where his naive idealism clashed with their perspectives. Here, he was a Dudley Do-Right who was always an invincible hero.

The main thing for me is that I was really impressed with two of the three final episodes: “The Knight, Death, and the Devil” and “Immaculate Perception”. The awful season finale blew the momentum these episodes had built up, but I do now feel like the show is at least capable of putting out a quality hour of television (whereas I’d pretty much given up hope of this earlier). I think I’m going to skip around the remaining three seasons, rather than watch them in their entirety. If what I have to look forward to consists only of more lame adventure episodes like “In Heaven There Are Now Three”, then maybe I’ll stop right away. But I am mildly curious as to where the show is going, to I’ll probably watch enough to at least figure that out. The universe Wolfe created is still fairly interesting to me, even if I don’t get the impression the “New Andromeda” will explore it very thoroughly. Thanks for the great reviews, Jamahl.
Baron Samedi
Sat, Oct 25, 2014, 11:54pm (UTC -6)
I doubt that anyone still cares, but I did go through Season 3 and figure I'll post another comment here about it. It was awful.

From what I’ve read, the show was made on-the-cheap by a cast and crew who really believed in what they were creating: a sci-fi action show with hardly any long-term story. And that’s fine. I certainly have nothing against the people who worked hard on this show (except for Kevin Sorbo, for reasons that will be obvious if you Google him). The main cast really seems to be trying their best with weak material (there’s hardly any character development outside of the final episode). The main actors certainly aren’t the problem, and I don’t think that the production crew is either.

But Season 3 was unfathomably terrible. It was a train wreck from the first episode (which was, incidentally, the worst). It was exactly what the second half of Season 2 promised. I new what I was getting myself into, but I kept going because I couldn’t stop myself from being a completest. It’s such a pity, because the first half of Season 2 showed how Andromeda could work as an action show. But making the season consist only of standalone Dylan-centric action episodes took away any potential momentum. And why constantly do action if you don’t have the budget to do it well? Is there really an audience for constant cheap-looking action? I spent the whole season wondering this. Only the surprisingly good finale even had decent CGI. Otherwise the “action” consisted of fake-looking footage that was often reused from earlier in the show interspersed with cheap-looking spark-filled battles between our heroes and this week’s incompetent army of faceless Bad Aliens.

Anyway, I might, just maybe, check out Season 4. The events set into motion by the Season 3 finale (its only great episode) have a great deal of potential. But given the consistently low quality, it’s sadly easy to see why this show was forgotten. There’s hardly any character or story development, just routine standalone adventures that are dull, boring, and cheaply made. It just doesn’t reach the level of quality necessary to merit serious criticism, although I’ve put together another list with a bit of commentary on each episode below.

Classic episodes:

Great episodes:

1. Shadows Cast by a Final Salute – Pretty much the only episode of the season with a lot of new FX shots and where Important Things happen in regards to the big picture. Tyr fulfills his character’s potential for once this season and has some strong scenes with pretty much the whole main cast. It’s basically a better version of Season 2’s finale, with large-scale battle resulting from actions of the characters that looks relatively impressive on a visual level. Moreover, the cliffhanger places the fate of the new Commonwealth is put on an even playing field with the fate of the regular characters. (9/10)

Good episodes:

2. The Unconquerable Man – The best clip-show episode I’ve seen of any series, although that’s not saying much. Rhade defeats Dylan in the pilot and sets out to change the galaxy. Some of the clips were unnecessary, but many functioned very effectively. Jamahl had mentioned the writers having read this website in the past, and I wonder if that influenced this episode as it draws clips from most of the episodes Jamahl rated highly. The central point to the episode is poignant: Rhade could never get over the disaster and disappointment that the Nietzschean’s became despite being one of them, whereas Dylan was able to forgive them despite being a victim of their deceit. The way that the episode intersects with “Ouroboros” is clever as well. (8/10)
3 .The Lone and Level Sands – A pretty good story all-around about a ship traveling in such a way that it still moves impossibly fast, but time passes by realistically around it. There’s a lot of distracting arcade game violence, but the episode ends with a poignant Trek-like conversation about exploring the unknown. (7/10)

Mediocre Episodes:

4. Day of Judgment, Day of Wrath – A sequel to Season 2’s best episode “The Knight, Death, and the Devil”, with a nifty continuation of Tyr’s subplot. The episode feels stronger than most because of excellent guest actors and a sense of urgency to the story, but the script is pedestrian and the visuals as cheap-looking as ever. (6/10)
5. The Dark Backward – Presenting an episode from Trance’s perspective was a great idea, as she constantly re-lives a series of events to try to prevent an intruder (who himself lives while going backwards through time, allowing him to see everyone’s actions in advance) from taking out the ship. The trial-and-error nature of the story is fun to watch, but it suffers from the same problems that derailed post-Wolfe Andromeda: the villain is stripped of any motivation whatsoever (he was originally supposed to be sent by the Abyss) and the solution is for Trance to just trust Dylan to figure it all out. Give me a break. (6/10)

Bad Episodes:

6. Cui Bono – John de Lancie returns, so that’s nice at least. Otherwise it’s a stock plot with stock characters. (5/10)
7. For Whom the Bell Tolls – Insects attack the ship, and there’s a ghost of a former crewmember. A not-terrible bottle episode (5/10)
8. The Right Horse – Dylan hardly appears in this episode, allowing Beka and Harper to play the main roles, and the New Commonwealth is incorporated decently. Completely run-of-the-mill otherwise. (5/10)
9. Twilight of the Idols – Another “genetic purists” episode, which for some reason the writers thought deserved about as much attention as the new Commonwealth. At least Michael Ironside shows up to deliver a typically great performance. (5/10)

Terrible Episodes:

10. Delenda Est – Oh my, how is this as high as number 10? Man, this series fell apart. The aliens from the Season 2 finale return midway through Season 3, and we get just as many answers as you’d except: none whatsoever. Who are they? What do they want? The show’s response: Why would you ever want to know these things when you could be watching our heroes blowing them all up? This episode only seems motivated by the desire to save money by re-using costumes and FX shots. All that said, it’s probably the most entertaining action episode of the season, if you’re into, like, Walker, Texas Ranger style violence where the Good Guys Win and the Bad Guys Lose. DS9 alluded to The Third Man; the final scene here is ripped straight from Predator 2. (4/10)
11. The Leper’s Kiss – Dylan hunts a mysterious assassin while falling for a seductress, and what-do-you know, they turn out to be the same person. (4/10)
12. Point of the Spear– An episode about a battle far greater in scale than the show’s budget can come close to capturing. Basically an hour of cheap-looking (often re-used) special effects shots. It is nice to see the Commonwealth Fleet competently in action. Billy from Battlestar Galactica makes an appearance, too, essentially playing the same character (though drafted into the military). He appears briefly in the finale as well. (4/10)
13. Deep Midnight’s Voice – Reminded me of Galactica 1980, which is not a good thing. There is an interesting subplot about Tyr’s scheming that sets in motion the Season’s only worthwhile story arc. (3/10)
14. And Your Heart Will Fly Away – Of all the stories to bring back from earlier seasons, why the genetic purists? (3/10)
15. What Happens to A Rev Deferred? – It was kind of nice to see Rev again, but the story was slow and muddled. (3/10)
16. The Illusion of Majesty – Dylan rescues a young attractive princess, you can see where this is going… (3/10)
17. The Risk-All Point – As if it wasn’t enough to sideline the new Commonwealth plot, this is where Andromeda starts to piss all over it too, as an incompetent new flagship is easily destroyed. Featuring a ludicrously dumb ending and a Dylan screwing around with a woman during the middle of an urgent rescue mission. (3/10)
18. The Shards of Rimni – Last season’s “In Heaven Now Are Three”, except cheaper and cheesier. (2/10)
19. Mad to Be Saved – Andromeda rescues bunch of mentally-challenged people, who may as well have written this mess of an episode. Another cheap-looking bottle show on top of that, although at least there’s no re-use of the recurring cave set. (2/10)
20. Slipfighter the Dogs of War – Let’s invade Iraq! Featuring newly-neutered Tyr at his wimpiest. Neo-cons wrote this fantasy, and they didn’t even write it well. (2/10)
21. Vault of the Heavens – Gordon Michael Woolvett’s acting provides one of Season 3’s only consistently entertaining elements, though his character has little to do. Woolvett penned this episode, and sadly it’s one of the worst, featuring cheap sets and a lame-ass love-fest for Sorbo as an alien seductress tries to mate with him (because he’s just so strong and attractive…). (2/10)
22. If The Wheel is Fixed – The opening episode is the season low-point. It's even worse than “Tunnel At the End of the Light” and a nail in coffin of what was once a show with promise. We learn nothing about the aliens who attacked the new Commonwealth, nor get any mention of the consequences of the Commonwealth charter ceremony being interrupted. Instead, the incredibly un-compelling “Did Beka or Tyr die?” question is the only one addressed. Goofy, stupid, terrible, without even any decent special effects (it looks cheaply made, setting the stage for what follows…). Andromeda’s pilot and “The Widening Gyre” are masterpieces compared to this premiere, and the season it begins is only slightly less terrible overall. (1/10)

Tl;dr Season 3 of Andromeda was exactly the disaster post-Wolfe Season 2 promised. But three episodes were genuinely good, so yay.
Sun, Oct 26, 2014, 3:34pm (UTC -6)
Baron Samedi,

I agree. This show lost it's way after season 2. It was so good, the just took a nose dive. Check out the change in writers, which obviously resulted in a change of direction as well.
Tue, Nov 4, 2014, 1:17am (UTC -6)

I still care! Or that is, I read it with interest. What actually happened is that I have been reading this site for BSG and ST reviews, and happened to notice the Andromeda section. I had forgotten the show even existed, but this triggered a memory of it having seemed really cool at the beginning and then really jumping the shark badly (worse than most). So I went down memory lane here and saw that my memory was confirmed.

I don't remember how long I stuck with it, but I don't think it was as long as you did. I didn't even know it lasted five seasons.
Baron Samedi
Sat, Nov 8, 2014, 2:03pm (UTC -6)
Thanks for sharing your perspective, SlackerInc. A handful of websites (this being one of them) reviewed Andromeda for the first two seasons, but for for obvious reasons (mostly the quality dropping so low after Wolfe's departure that the series stopped meriting serious criticism) they pretty much all gave up before or during Season 3. There's literally nothing out there discussing Andromeda's later seasons in any detail. As other commentators have mentioned, it's such a pity that Andromeda kept going for so long while better shows were cancelled much earlier.
Sat, Jan 17, 2015, 6:02am (UTC -6)
Not sure where to post this... I was just reading Cynic's Corner (David E Sluss) - who, like Jammer, wrote some really funny and incisive pieces on Andromeda and did a great job of decrying its decline ( Out of curiosity I googled David to find out what he was up to now, and I came across this, suggesting he died a few weeks ago:

Does anyone know any more about this? Is it the same David?
Thu, Jan 22, 2015, 9:37pm (UTC -6)
Jammer, I just want to say I admire your thoroughness in giving a full, coherent explanation as to why you quit watching this show. I watched my friend struggle through season 2, and if it was indeed as horrible as he said it was/the few episodes I did see, I really wouldn't have blamed you for just posting one sentence for your season recap.

Based on the eps I did (unfortunately) see, I came away with the feeling that nothing will ever save this series from obscurity except a complete BSG-style reboot - i.e. junk everything except the most basic plot and character elements of the original and start from scratch. A pity; the premise was very interesting but light-years behind in execution. If this series had been left in better hands, it could have been a classic despite the obvious low budget.
Mon, Mar 30, 2015, 11:42am (UTC -6)
@Niall, I just wanted to follow up on your comment about David E Sluss and say that the obit you posted was for another person with the same name and similar age. I emailed the Cynic this weekend and he assured me he is alive and well!
Baron Samedi
Sun, Aug 30, 2015, 1:05am (UTC -6)
Why did I watch the Season Four of Andromeda, you may ask?

Because of the sunk-cost fallacy, mostly. Given the time I’ve spent on this show, I may as well finish it (I tell myself). I am still mildly invested in seeing in where all of this is going, even if my instincts have been telling me to jump ship for quite some time.

Because no matter how deeply I search, almost no critical feedback whatsoever exists about Seasons 3-5 of Andromeda, and I’d like to at least collect some comprehensive thoughts for anybody considering continuing to watch after Season 2.

It took me almost a year to do this, because it’s rare that I’m in the mood to watch something that is almost guaranteed to be bad. Occasionally, late at night, I’d be half-drunk and/or unable to go to sleep, and I’d think to myself “How about I watch another of those Andromeda episodes?” And here are the results.

Season 4 felt like the product of a lot more effort than Season 3, but it was worse. Season 3 gave up on continuity, whereas Season 4 was driven by several season-long arcs. The problem was that the execution, no doubt the result of rushed shooting schedules and budgetary limitations, prevented any of these stories from developing into anything meaningful or impactful. Season 4 felt like what it probably is: the product of a bunch of overworked, underpaid employees glad to have a job, even if that job is to churn out enough inevitably bad episodes for the show to reach syndication. The fact that the writers even tried to tell (somewhat) complicated stories in this context is admirable. But, as with Season 3, the episode-by-episode quality is so low that criticizing it just feels like picking on a mentally handicapped person. Watching the late seasons of Andromeda makes me value good shows far more than I did before, and it helps me understand why so many people enjoyed making fun of the awful later seasons of a high-budgeted show like Dexter that at least could have (or should have) been good. With the studio pressures and budgetary limitations facing the Andromeda crew, there’s just no way this season could have been decent. At least that’s what I’d like to think.

Still, there were some positive qualities. Although his character (like all others) stopped developing long ago, Gordon Michael Woolvett at least brings a lot of energy and commitment to his performances. When Harper is on-screen, I can at least feel like I’m watching an actual character in the actual Andromeda universe. There were a couple decent episodes (described below) and a general sense of dread brought about by the approaching Magog threat. I also found myself laughing a lot at the unintentionally hilarious dialogue, which is a good quality at least in some sense.

But the episodes continue to be overwhelmingly Dylan-centric, and Sorbo’s acting is barely passable. He seems bored with the material, with only the finale bringing out a multifaceted performance. The rest of the cast (aside from Woolvett) isn’t much better. The guy playing Rhade (who joins the main cast, as the genetic reincarnation from Season 2’s “Home Fires”), in particular, seems to have a difficult time delivering his lines and ends up being a very poor replacement for Tyr. Beka and Rommie get to be the focus of one episode each, but outside of that they continue to be annoying and underdeveloped, usually acting as a interchangeable cyphers. Trance says her usual pseudo-profound lines but never gets to do anything important until the finale. Dylan saves the day and flirts with the attractive young female guest star of the week. The villains within the New Commonwealth, the Collectors, are united mostly by their bad acting. None of the characters show any consistent growth or development.

The episodes lean excessively on unnecessary flashbacks, which usually are only tangentially to what’s occurring on-screen. Reaction shots often don’t quite match the actions preceding them. The same musical cues occur again and again. The evil-looking characters who are nice at the beginning of the episode end up as the antagonist. Something like three episodes in a row feature a character’s voice dropping several octaves as soon as they are revealed as villains. And so on.

I know that the later seasons of this show actually have fans, but I don’t know why. Is there a point in my continuing to review a show that so long ago became unwatchable? You decide.

Classic Episodes:

Great Episodes:

Good Episodes:
1. Abridging the Devil's Divide
By far the best episode of the season, despite opening with the entire show’s worst line of dialogue (“Insulting a Nietzschean is unhealthy for a human’s health,” mumbled by Rhade). Michael Ironside (reprising his role from last season as a resurrected Old Commonwealth general) is a terrific villain. He breathes life into material that could have easily come across as stock and stale. The story has a proper sense of mystery, buildup and slow reveal, leading to a devilishly morbid plot twist at the end. Harper betrays Dylan to support in the name of scientific discovery, which is about the most interesting character moment all season. A lot of the action is burdened by typically atrocious editing and derring-do dialogue, but some of it’s actually entertaining and effective. About as good as a standalone episode of post-Wolfe Andromeda is capable of being. (8/10)
2. The Dissonant Interval: Part Two
According to the review by SF Debris, this episode was conceived as a possible finale to the show. That’s kind of hilarious to think about, as it would just be a giant middle finger to all the fans and to Dylan Hunt’s entire journey. But that’s kind of fitting, too, considering what the show became. Visually, this episode is definitely impressive by late-Andromeda’s standards, and there’s a lot going on in terms of character and plot development, including the only genuinely interesting conversations all season about Dylan’s quest and the consequences it’s had for his crew. Still, it could have been a lot better, and there’s no more obnoxious way to end an already excessively Dylan-centric season on a Dylan-centric show than with Sorbo stumbling upon a godlike image of himself. I’ll call it “good”, though. (7/10)
3. Soon the Nearing Vortex
The first in a two-parter for which Keith Hamilton Cobb returned to conclude Tyr’s storyline. I admire that the writers went all-in with making Tyr a complete antagonist in this story instead of giving him a carny last-minute redemption. Everything he does feels true to his character, especially his scenes with Beka. The episode is a continuity goldmine, too, for anyone paying attention, with a story touching on Tarazed, Tyr himself, the Abyss, the Rhade clone from “Home Fires” and the Route of Ages. The mystical elements are campy and insufferable, though, burdening an otherwise solid character episode. (7/10)

Mediocre Episodes:
4. The World Turns All Around Her
The conclusion to Tyr’s storyline, cleverly worked into the first real appearance of the Spirit of the Abyss in quite a while. The reveal that Beka is only a pawn in Tyr’s scheme is wonderfully in-character. The episode has some smart visual ideas, and there’s definitely something poetic about Tyr’s attempt to strike a bargain with the devil only to find that evil is uncompromising and uncontrollable. Still, the episode is poorly executed, with a crucial death scene never even addressed by the characters in its aftermath. And after all the buildup, the climax takes place in (drum role please)…the recurring cave set. In theory , the ideas here are quite strong, but in practice, the filmmaking is so clunky that I can’t fully recommend it - which is a generous way of describing Season 4 as a whole. (6/10)
5. Harper/Delete
An adventure episode filmed mostly outdoors, which made for a fun variation to the usual cramped soundstages/cave sets. Harper got a lot to do and the action is better directed and more entertaining than in a typical Andromeda episode, though still quite cheesy. (6/10)
6. The Dissonant Interval: Part One
There’s an actual story here, with ideas, themes and everything. The execution is lackluster, but there’s enough going on to make it stand out a bit. The storyline reminds me of “The Mission”. There’s a lot of untapped potential, but the concept at least presents an intriguing ethical dilemma (should Andromeda attempt to defend a colony of pacifists willing to die for their beliefs) with symbolic overtones. (6/10)
7. The Torment, the Release
The Collectors (New Commonwealth officials controlled by the Spirit of the Abyss) interrogate Dylan and accuse him of treason. It’s the entire season in a nutshell: an excessive use of flashbacks (are we supposed to believe that the Commonwealth officials have hidden cameras all over the place in a way that matches footage from older episodes?) mixed with noble attempts at building a long-term story off of old continuity that fall flat due to abysmal execution. I’ll give this a 5/10 for effort, but it’s honestly pretty bad. (5/10) Pulitzer-worthy the dialogue of the week:
Collector to Hunt: “Do you care to make an opening statement?” Hunt: “Yeah, I think you’re an idiot.”
Beka to Collector: “You’ve got to know about jokes. You are one.”

Bad Episodes:
8. Machinery of the Mind
The New Commonwealth holds a conference about preparing for the Magog invasion, which provides plenty of opportunities to reuse footage from earlier episodes. Sharon/Number 8 from Battlestar Galactica shows up. Harper’s Magog eggs somehow made it through the most-Wolfe script simplification filter. Meanwhile, Dylan gets pushed towards evil by agents of the Collects by proposals as tantalizing as “We offer riches and power, Captain”. Shockingly, he turns them down. (4/10)
9. The Warmth of an Invisible Light
An alternate reality episode that needs a much higher budget to capture the scope of the universe where it takes place - instead, the episode plays like the regular cast trying out different power dynamics as part of an acting exercise than a legitimate look at another existence. Still, it’s fun seeing Woolvett as an evil genius and there’s some nice foreshadowing for the season finale when Trance offers to go supernova to sacrifice herself to save everyone else. Not good, but not bad for a Season 4 Andromeda episode. (4/10)
10. Double or Nothingness
Dylan is forced into an incredibly unconvincing virtual reality game run by two awful guest actors. Sorbo fights a clone of himself, which actually kind of results in him losing a fight for the first time in the show. Yawn. (4/10)
11. A Symmetry of Imperfection
The show delivers on the promise of an impending Magog invasion that’s been around since the first season finale, with an advance force arriving and facing off against the Andromeda. The action is all pretty forgettable, but the context is at least interesting. (4/10)
12. The Others
A bad TNG story pretty much on autopilot, as the Andromeda tries to reconcile two warring cultures. Dee from Battlestar Galactica plays the leader of one of the sides. (3/10)
13. Fear Burns Down to Ashes
Rev Bem returns with a changed costume style, which is in turn applied all the Magog. Having Rev Bem initially ambush Dylan provided some nice shock value, but the dialogue in their many scenes together was lacking. Some noble ideas here, but it’s too cheesy overall. (3/10)
14. Time Out of Mind
I honestly wasn’t able to focus on this episode. We get to see our lovely cast playing alternative versions of themselves, agents of the Abyss assassinate someone, and a brief nod to “Double or Nothingness” from earlier in the season that’s kind of clever. Still, it’s pretty dumb. (3/10)

Terrible Episodes:
15. Lost in a Space That Isn't There
Beka’s only lead episode, dealing with the aftereffects of the Abyss taking over her body earlier in the season. Tons of unnecessary flashbacks ensue, all leading up to a physical fight within Beka’s subconscious against Dylan. (2/10)
16. The Spider's Stratagem
Bad costumes. Rhade stumbles over his lines even more than usual. Dylan literally rescues a princess from a tower in a swashbuckling Rapunzel story. Yuck. (2/10)
17. Trusting the Gordian Maze
An entire episode of characters walking slowly so that they won’t run out of set. Powerful stuff. (2/10)
18. Answers Given to Questions Never Asked
The disappointing follow-up to the superb Season 3 cliffhanger. The first third of the episode, showing the cast debating how to address the destruction of most of the Commonwealth fleet in the previous finale, is fine. But it only takes 25 minutes into the PREMIERE episode for the recurring cave set to show up, where an endless and laughably ineptly filmed showdown takes place between Dylan and a cranky old guy. Like the Enterprise finale, it cuts away right before a crucial speech that would have actually been interesting to see. (2/10)
19. Pieces of Eight
Andromeda gets retro-fitted by “Citizen Eight”, who gives the most grating acting performance so far in the show. The special effects are terrible, although at least they’re unique to the episode. (1/10)
20. Conduit to Destiny
An Incredibly evil looking prison warden asks for the Andromeda’s help in containing a riot and catching a young attractive female escapee. You’ll never guess what happens next. What’s the only thing more fun than Andromeda kung fu fights? Kung fu fights in Andromeda’s cave set, of course. The line “I guess you could say that our work here is done.” is a actually said unironically in this episode’s conclusion. Dylan discovers that he is “The Conduit”, which I guess makes up the lack of a gratuitous Dylan sex/makeout scene this week. (1/10)
21. Exalted Reason, Resplendent Daughter
Yes, that’s the actual name of the episode. A creepy old guy asks Dylan for help catching a dangerous criminal who happens to be a young attractive woman blah blah. I can’t say any more, as I don’t want to spoil any of the twists and turns of this episode’s intricate and unpredictable mystery. (1/10)
22. Waking the Tyrant's Device
Everything you love about Andromeda, all wrapped into a single episode! I laughed more at this episode than any other. The villain pronounces “I am Kroton” and “With the help of the Magog, I will lead a revolt of androids and the Commonwealth will fall.” Dylan retorts “Not on my watch” before diving into the air and setting off several spark-squibs with his laser gun. Later, Kroton declares “I am not finished with you, Captain Hunt”, to which Dylan responds ““Well that’s too bad, cause I’m finished with you!” before making out with the young guest star of the week. Great stuff. This episode makes “Dance of the Mayflies” look masterful. (1/10)

I honestly have no idea if I’ll ever watch Season 5. I may just skim through it and give general impressions.
Fri, Nov 6, 2015, 7:50am (UTC -6)
@ Baron Samedi

"I honestly have no idea if I’ll ever watch Season 5. I may just skim through it and give general impressions. "

Come on, you almost made it. Congrats that you wrote the only available reviews of season 3 and 4. Seriously, i didn't find anyone that reviewed the series after season 2. It is as if these seasons never existed. I've seen every episode, it was torturous but i am curious what you and others think of the later seasons.
Keep up the good work.
Sat, Nov 28, 2015, 1:57am (UTC -6)
Season 5 Episode 1 "The Weight"

2 out of 5 stars.

"There are three types of people. Those who can count, and those who can't." ~ Flavin

"'You can't get there from here' should be this place's motto." ~ Dylan

In Season 5, Andromeda returns to its space opera roots, setting up a season long story arc. However this arc appears to have little to do with the original storyline.

After the rather anti-climatic showdown with the Magog "World" Ship (actually several worlds with an artificial sun) Captain Dylan Hunt flies through the Route of Ages and somehow looses his slipfighter without explanation, manifesting in a dark corridor where he comes face-to-face with himself. Baron Samedi, above, describes this second Dylan Hunt as "godlike", but in actually this Dylan is exactly identical to the first Dylan, except he is wearing a jacket. (Why Baron Samedi thinks this Dylan is godlike, I don't know, maybe he is a closest Sorbo fan?) The two Dylans smile as if to say "of course I'd run into myself here" and then turn away from each other.

This scene is never explained, or commented on, for the rest of the episode. What was it about? What did it mean? Why did it happen? Who the slag knows? Is this Dylan's "paradine" self? Is this Dylan from another time zone (such as when he existed the Route of Ages in a later episode)? This is Dylan from another universe? Is the scene a visual joke on the old saying "If you travel long and far enough you will eventually meet yourself."? This question, and more, will not be answered.

Dylan finally escapes the corridor/Route of Ages only to suddenly ended up wearing the jacket the other Dylan was wearing. Have the Dylans swapped places? Is this in fact the other Dylan we are now following? Or is this writers'/director's error? We may never know.

Dylan is now on a planet (still no slipfighter) and is found by the Trance stand-in for this episode. Flavin. Flavin in fact is about this episode's only redeeming quality as he actually makes for an interesting and fun (if predictable) character.

We are then introduced to this planet's/system's rather farfetched premise. Its 12 planets, all identical, all of which everyone finds familiar, which is suppose to be Tarn Vedran or the Andromeda. Why everyone find this familiar when only Dylan has been to Tarn Vedran and the denizens of the planet are not the Andromeda's crew is not explained, like pretty much everything else in this episode.

We also meet Schwarzenegger's little brother, who apparently runs this planet. Its unclear if the entire planet's population consists of this one little town or not. But its a population of idiots. Also working for the Arnold's little bro is Rhade.

Rhade's character has received a makeover. While the new Rhade is a lot more fun then the old, one can't help but feel that this part was originally written for Tyr and has been adapted for Rhade's character. He also comes off as slightly unhinged and angry at Dylan for . . . well no good reason really, just because mostly. Where would this episode been without some conflict between the main characters. It seems the writers have totally forgotten that Rhade use to an Admiral, as he in no way acts like one would expect a former Admiral to behave.

After what seems like several bar fights, Dylan and Rhade are finally reconciled, Flavin does his Obi-Won thing and dies and the bad guys are driven off. No question are answered, including the pink elephant in the room which none of the characters even address. If this is Tarn Vedran, then where are the Vedrans?

This episode rates 2 stars mostly because of some fun characters. The new Rhade is a little weird, but its fun to see him less wooden and a little more Nietzschean. Flavin's character too is a lot of fun and Thomas' impersonation of a priest-like Schwarzenegger is fun to make fun of. A lot of things aren't explained, but then again, it is the first episode of a season-long story arc and it does a fair just of setting up the premise, as awkward as that premise is.
Sat, Nov 28, 2015, 12:33pm (UTC -6)
Season 5 Episode 2 "The Weight" (part 2)

1 out of 5 stars.

"You know, this seems like a bad deal because, apparently, I die either way." ~ Dylan

Once again, this episode leaves more question then answers, not about the plot, but about the entire set up. We learn here that no one knowns about Slipstream in the Seefra System. In fact no has even heard the term "Slipstream" and faster-then-light travel is thought to be a myth. (This despite the fact that Seefra periodically get new arrivals and the that fact that if this really is Tarn Vedran - it would only be a mere 300 hundred years cut off from the rest of the galaxy, not nearly long enough to completely forget the existence of Slipstream on all nine planets.) We also learn that water is in short supply on all nine planets, not just Seefra-1.

Beka has been in the Seefra System for several months, aboard the Maru, she can't leave the system but keeps trying until she runs out of food, water and power. Why she doesn't land a planet before that point? She never bothers to explain. Just because, I guess.

She finds the Andromeda, intact (so much for the theory that Seefra-1 is the Andromeda), but without power and so sets of a distress signal. At some point she gets captured and tortured for about a month, including being threatened to be burned alive by a creature imaginatively called the "Core", a name which it sounds more like a machine then a creature. She then makes a deal with the leader of her captors, Jonah, and "fall in love" with him . . . apparently getting captured and tortured are the roads to a girl's heart.

At this point Dylan and Rhade show up to answer the distress call and we play the same old tired game, is Beka loyal to Dylan? Cause we haven't found out the answer that before, in like a dozen previous episodes. Jonah doesn't trust Beka not to be loyal to her old captain and devises perhaps the weirdest test in any science fiction episode. He presents Beka with two buttons. One unleashes the "Core" who will kill Dylan; the other fires a missile which will destroy the Andromeda.

The test doesn't work as Dylan as figured out, along with the audience, that the "Core" is actually Trance and that Jonah isn't really going to destroy the Andromeda - both buttons unleash the "Core". When the "Core" comes out, Dylan addresses her by name and Trance, naturally, doesn't hurt him, even though she looks like a miniature sun with little tentacles.

After Dylan reveals Jonah's trick to Beka, Jonah, apparently in a sudden fit of insanity, decides to shoot a missile at the Andromeda after all, purely out of spite with Dylan. This doesn't really sound like someone who managed to create the largest commercial cargo fleet in the system, but hey, who cares about consistent character representation? He and Beka split ways, with Beka telling him that she "really did love him" - because, you know, torture and stuff.

Beka frees Dylan and they are joined by Rhade, who has spent the entire time wandering the corridors. Yeah, former Admiral here people. They use Trance to power the ship and shoot down the missile, which also conveniently destroys Jonah's ship with splash damage from the warhead. The "Core" turns back into Trance's humanoid form, but she has no memories and only vaguely recognizes Dylan and none of the others. Rommy comes back online as well and informs everyone that it was Trance who saved them all by tesseract-ing them through the Route of Ages and into the Seefra System and that doing so cost her physical form and memories. Why and how Rommy knows all this is anybody's guess along with how she lost power.

The crew then mention that all they are missing is Harper and "Rommy" even though Rommy is right there because she is the slagging ship itself! But presumably they mean her Avatar (which as you recall was destroyed last season) and who the bad Andromeda writers keep acting like is a complete separate character from Rommy, even though we all know that the Ship and the Avatar are one and the same (that's the whole point of the Avatar in the first place).

This episode only rates 1 out of 5 (proper) stars. The new Rhade is still fun to watch and listen too and sounds less like Tyr this time around. Dylan anger at yet another person trying to claim his ship is well done, especially the scene where he see the company logo painted on the Andromeda's hull.

Unfortunately everything else is pretty lackluster. Beka has always been a rather boring character with really no function on the Andromeda, here she is running her "I'm a pointless character" in full tilt. While Dylan has is gathering the crew back together and getting his ship back and Rhade has connections, work, money and knowledge about the Seefra System; Beka on the other hand as been avoiding planets, getting captured, beat up, threatened and then "falling in love" with the man responsible for her troubles.

The whole plot is actually rather boing and doesn't really do anything to advance the story arc or make Beka interesting. The only good scenes are those with Dylan and Rhade together, as their dialogue is still pretty entertaining.
Sat, Nov 28, 2015, 2:09pm (UTC -6)
Season 5 Episode 3 "Phear Phactor Phenom"

1/2 out of 5 stars.

"He didn't insult me, not once. That's not right." ~ Rhade

Unfortunately this episode isn't really better then the last. Here we learn that there is apparently a "ban" on technology over the whole system. Who exactly in forces this ban is unclear as if also exactly what level of technology is okay and what isn't and who makes that decision.

Harper is alive but has been in the Seefra System for 3 years. Apparently the parts from Rommy avatar came with him but he hasn't been able to repair her. This hasn't stopped him from building over androids however.

He has also teamed up with the resident mad scientist who is trying to recreate (and failing) the Vedrans. At least there is someone here who thinks the Vedrans should be in Tarn Vedran. Why is she doing this? Well because the new Vedran will naturally be able to save everyone . . . because, you know, Vedrans.

Dylan and crew aren't happy with him, but they don't make it clear exactly what they're aren't happy with. Harper has also been stealing, but its not clear what or why he is stealing. But it won't matter anymore, because they "neutralize" the mad scientist and Harper is now back with Dylan.

The episode suffers from too little Rhade and too much Beka. Dylan here is just classic Dylan, but it is nice to see Harper is still his usal entertaining hyperactive self. Doyle is a character with a lot of potential and its obvious to everyone but the main characters that she is another android built by Harper.

At this point, I'm getting a little tired of being shown how messed up the Seefra System is. Let's move on to the mystery of WHY is this way and WAY it should be fixed and HOW they are going to go about doing that. And where are the VENDRANS?
Sat, Nov 28, 2015, 11:15pm (UTC -6)
Season 5 Episode 3 "Decay of the Angel"

2 out of 5 stars.

"Dylan, Dylan, Dylan. What is the point of this? Are we pretending we're a crew again?" ~ Beka
"Oh, believe me. I won't make that mistake five times." ~ Dylan

This episode appears to be a hidden continuation of "Waking the Tyrant's Device" from last season. At some point in the future, Kroton's android rebellion appears to be going on and for some reason, the androids want Andromeda. Its not make clear why. Fortunately, it appears that in the future, they don't make androids like they use too, as the present day models are far superior.

In this episode we learn, for the few who haven't guess it already, that Doyle is an android. But she's not just any android, she is in fact the Rommy avatar. Harper wasn't able to get her personality just right (she was apparently obsessed with "finding Dylan") and so created a new personality for her and programmed her to think of herself as human.

Its a nice continuity nod to find out that Rommy is obsessed with getting back to Dylan, in the 1st season Andromeda was in love with her captain, but this was forgotten in later seasons. Here we see that she still in love with him and being reunited with him is what she wants most.

Doyle saves a man named Argent who quickly finds out that Doyle is an android, even though Doyle herself is unaware of this. He quickly attaches himself to her, despite Harper's obvious dismay and eventually manipulates things to both reveal to her that she isn't human and to get her to an asteroid with a Tesseract Generator.

This same generator is responsible for teleporting the Andromeda, Dylan, Rhade and Beka to an empty area of space. Here they are attacked and captured by armed men. Argent reveals that he is working with these men and that they in fact are all androids from the future. They have some plan for the Andromeda, although it is not reveal what, only that the Andromeda will play an important roll in their android revolution.

Fortunately Harper hacks the generator and destroys are beam out into space all the androids. Doyle takes many of them down, but despite the fact that these androids are supposedly from the future, they easily go down with one hit while Doyle takes several with apparently ill effect.

This episode gets only 2 out of 5 stars as the story doesn't make much sense and does nothing to move the season arc along. Doyle is a breath of fresh air and its uncanny how Rommy-like the actress can be at times. Rhade is more like his original character in this one, but still angry. Beka is Beka and Dylan is about average. Harper and Argent have some pretty funny dialogue with each other and some amusing scenes.
Baron Samedi
Thu, Nov 3, 2016, 9:00pm (UTC -6)
@Samaritan I just saw this and appreciate that someone read my previous write-ups! I'm still working on Season 5, I think I got 5 episodes in before I got distracted. I promise I'll finish it eventually. Given that your last review was from a year ago, we're probably moving at similar paces.
Fri, Nov 4, 2016, 12:49am (UTC -6)
Refreshing to see this in my email box. Congratulations on making it to season 5. I hope you drink or have one of those eye popping martian dolls because if you thought Sorbo was annoying before, then he is infuriating in the 5th season. I almost want to rewatch the series to make a better analysis of the episodes and rank them.
I love sci fi. I am willing to allow bad acting, costumes, and FX to be what they are as long as the story is respected.
The characters that stayed with me from this series were Trance and Rev Bem.
Trance was an interesting character who was pretty much appropriated by Sorbo in season 5. Bem was a great idea but had an unfortunate human centric script.
Sometimes I imagine that if Sorbo does not own any of the rights maybe Andromeda could be rebooted with a respect for each individual character and how the captain is not any of those characters, nor should he be.
I look forward to reading your review of season 5 and the mechanisms you used to get you through an almost unwatchable Sorbo only circle jerk.
Baron Samedi
Sun, Mar 5, 2017, 10:34pm (UTC -6)
I suppose that my quest to finish the entirety of Gene Roddenberry’s Andromeda, a five-season show widely remembered, to the extent that it is remembered at all, as having disintegrated halfway through its second season into a nearly unwatchable, low-budget mess, should have ended with me gaining the wisdom to stop.

But, I have a strange fascination with the detritus of forgotten sci-fi shows and an investment in the “good” early seasons of Andromeda that kept me going. Even so, Season 5 was a tough ride for me. In the time that it took me to get through it, I watched the entirety of Sliders, another show that started promisingly and ultimately fell apart as behind-the-scenes pressure resulted in a shift away from thought-provoking concepts and towards action hour on a television budget. That said, Sliders never betrayed its premise the way that Andromeda did, and it’s maligned fifth season blew Andromeda’s fifth season out of the water. Some shows jump the shark; Andromeda jumped the Sharknado.

Season Five found the crew stranded on a planet called Seefra in a pocket universe. For anyone who doesn’t know already, the season barely got made and exists so that the show can hit 100 episodes and become syndicated, and stranding the crew on a planet functioned to reduce costs by encouraging the reuse of sets and discouraging expensive space battle CGI. It’s remarkable to think that the ending to “The Dissonant Interval” (the Season Four finale) was nearly the ending to the whole series, given that everyone but Dylan dies in it.

The Seefra setting resembles a low-budget Tatooine, full of dirt, sand, annoying characters, and goofy conflicts. Imagine the first half of A New Hope, but instead everyone is boring and bored - it reminded me of Bible videos I was forced to watch at Sunday School as a kid. Indeed, the show this season feels like it’s meant for ten-year-olds - it’s easy to forget the sexual undercurrent in several Tyr-centered episodes from Season One.

Lexa Doig (Rommie) was pregnant during Season Five’s filming and thus only plays a major role in the last few episodes. Her replacement is Doyle, a who serves as eye-candy and is never believable as an android home to Rommie’s artificial intelligence, especially when she performs kung fu in a bright pink costume that seems borrowed from a Power Rangers episode. In fairness, I think that Brandy Ledford gives a pretty earnest performance in the role, and she has a fair amount of charisma and chemistry with Harper and, towards the end, Rommie.

Season Five does have some good ideas, and it isn't terrible episode-by-episode. In fact, the average episode is better than the average episode of Season Four - it’s just that Season Four at least felt like a part of the Andromeda universe, whereas only the final two episodes of Season Five feel like they are even from the same continuity.

The MVP was definitely the Recurring Cave Set, which works its way into nearly every episode, followed by Gordon Michael Woolvett, who I genuinely enjoy as Harper. The Andromeda itself was so overpowered in the past that there was a lot of promise in the concept of it being in disrepair for the first half of this season, and it was satisfying to see our crew members slowly reunite and work towards repairing it and finding a way out of the Seefra system.

Dylan Hunt discovers that he is a god in this season (or at least a Paradine), solidifying all the “Hercules in space” jokes made about Andromeda. As much as I’ve picked on Kevin Sorbo before (and continue to here), I do think that he’s a good guy and I respect that he stands by his personal values (which I don’t share at all) in a way that a lot of celebrities in his position wouldn’t. He’s just gotten rather consumed by his bizarre persecution complex regarding Christianity and has a bit of an ego problem. His performances in Season Five are OK - he can seem bored at times, but at least he can deliver exposition with a sense of urgency often lacking elsewhere in the episodes. The rest of the performances by the main cast are fine and they have good chemistry together, although the guest actors are as much of a mixed bag as ever.

The two primary problems with Season 5, both certainly exacerbated by the low budget, are the setting and the execution.

The setting is what gets all the bad rep when people think of Season 5 Andromeda, and for good reason. Seefra is grimy and dull. At least in the earlier seasons, there was always a possibility that Dylan and our heroes could show up in an interesting location, but that’s gone here. Everyone’s stuck on a crappy planet we don’t care about and where it seems destined that nothing interesting will ever happen. Crucially, we never get to see how the events from Season Four in “The Dissonant Interval: Part Two” really connect to the events of Season Five. Sure, there’s some dialogue explaining how certain characters escaped certain death and got from one place to another, but we never see it, which is a crucial omission in a visual medium that robs the overarching storyline of much of its potential power.

I’m reminded a bit of the storyline from Season 3 of Battlestar Galactica involving a massacre of Sagittarons on New Caprica that was supposed to play a crucial role during Baltar’s trial, but ended up being cut out entirely because we would have never seen the events actually play out. Ronald D. Moore discussed in the commentary how not showing these events when they occurred in the narrative robbed them of their dramatic power. Similarly, the sheer amount of universe-explaining that occurs verbally, through exposition, in Season 5 of Andromeda just doesn’t “stick” or make an impact on the viewer because we never get to see it. I’m sure I could carefully examine the dialogue and understand all the nuances of the Andromeda mythology, but the lack of visual demonstration of crucial plot pieces really kills the whole setting. This is particularly true during an elaborate evacuation storyline in the second half of the season - we see a sun moving closer to and destroying planets, but we see hardly anything on the surface of the planets and only a handful of refugees. Meanwhile, our crew members often joke and screw around (at one point Beka gets a massage) while the fates of millions of people are at stake. It’s just bad storytelling.

All that certainly ties into the problems with execution that immensely reduce the enjoyment of almost every episode. This is has held Andromeda back from the beginning, but especially in Season 5, the pacing and plot development could use a lot of work. The episodes often lack a clear narrative or clear character motivations, resulting in disjointed stories where it’s difficult to understand what the writers are trying to get across on a basic level.

This tendency is best exemplified in “Opposites of Attraction”, where the plot (I’m not making this up) is that the living avatar of the black hole from the pilot episode suddenly appears onboard the Andromeda to romantically pursue Dylan Hunt. How does a black hole have a living avatar? Who knows. Why is the black hole’s avatar an attractive woman infatuated by Dylan Hunt? I dunno. How did she get from wherever the pilot episode took place to the Seefra system? Don’t ask me, or the writers. Moreover, the first thing she does is try to secretly murder Beka Valentine by creating a portal into space right behind her. How does the living embodiment of a black hole do that? I’m stumped. Anyway, the black hole’s motivation for trying to kill Beka is that Beka salvaged the Andromeda in the pilot episode, separating Dylan from her. So, why is the black hole pissed at Beka, but not at Harper, who also helped salvage the Andromeda? I have no idea.

Anyway, Beka narrowly avoids being sucked into space, but after that happens, she doesn’t even bring it up again and has no suspicions when the black hole avatar inexplicably appears on the ship. Think about that for a second: A) You are on a spaceship with only a few other people, all of whom you trust and know very well B) You narrowly avoid being murdered and don’t know who tried to kill you and C) a mysterious individual with suspicious motivations suddenly appears on the ship with no explanation. How hard is it to put 2 and 2 together here and conclude that the mysterious individual who just showed up is the one who tried to kill you? But the characters don’t, and a lot of these episodes are similarly riddled with holes that prevent any investment in the plot. And by the way, “Opposites of Attraction” ends with virtual fight between Dylan and the black hole avatar inside Andromeda’s computer system that looks like a scene from Tron shot on a $15 budget. Apparently, the best way to defeat a black hole’s romantically bitter living avatar is to swing a virtual lance at it and trap it inside of a computer program.

In my opinion, the only satisfying way to interpret the final season of Andromeda is as a David Lynch-like dreamscape of a comatose Dylan Hunt imagining 1) the new Commonwealth prevailing despite its near-destruction from Season Three and its corruption from Season Four and 2) his friends all surviving despite their clear deaths in “The Dissonant Interval” and following him as their leader once again.

This explanation was obviously not intended by the show-runners or screenwriters, but, in my opinion, a dramatic work can speak for itself based on its own content, regardless of what its creators intended.

So, to me, the final season is Andromeda coming full circle to confront the optimistic naivety that characterized Dylan’s vision of a new Commonwealth and his refusal to recognize the problems with the old one from Season One. The events of “The Dissonant Interval” and the deaths of all of Andromeda’s crew members make Dylan, in whatever form he continues to exist (perhaps floating in space a la “Be All My Sins Remembered”), a broken man who imagines his vision of a united New Commonwealth prevailing against the Abyss when, in reality, it crumbled before him. Indeed, you could even stretch this theory a bit further to apply it to Sorbo, as the executive producer, looking back on the wreckage of a once promising series. (Similarly, the final episode of Sliders, which went super-meta, invited, intentionally or not, parallels to behind-the-scenes creative and budgetary issues that gutted the show’s potential to ever live up to its early promise.)

Sorry if it sounds like I’m whining pointlessly. I’m motivated by the lack of even slightly detailed analysis of Season 5 available on the internet (as all the critics who took it seriously jumped ship around Season 3) and, also, by the fact that I do think that Andromeda has salvageable elements.

In fact, I think that the five seasons of Andromeda can be condensed into a very watchable and enjoyable season-and-a-half of content by watching only a particular set of episodes, which I may put together some day. This list would draw from continuity and quality, including a few bad episodes because they are important to the series’ mythology (in particular, “Ouroboros” and the Season Three and Season 4 premieres) and plenty of good ones that don’t.

But that’s for another day. Here is a brief word on each Season 5 episode, ranked from best to worst:

Classic Episodes:

Good Episodes:

1. Through a Glass, Darkly
In a genuine surprise, the Perseid scientist Hohne who fell into the slipstream core in “Oroboros” returns. It’s odd how “Oroboros”, a mess of an episode that marked the transition from pre to post-Wolfe Andromeda, is so central to the mythos of the show, as it serves as the basis for Season 3’s excellent “The Unconquerable Man”, the birth of the “new” Trance, and this episode. I found it a joy to see a Perseid again - despite their silly makeup and costumes, they have a design unique to the series and they hail back to the beginning of the show. It’s an unexpected piece of continuity, and the fact that Hohne is a signatory to the New Commonwealth Charter even gets mentioned. The episode is pretty good, too, featuring time travel and a theme about whether we are stuck in a particular destiny that leads Dylan to question his own perceived invincibility. (9/10)

2. When Goes Around...
The most unique episode of the season, about an Old Commonwealth scientist stuck in a time-loop. Thea Gill is very good in a guest performance as the scientist stuck in a Groundhog Day-like scenario, and the episode wisely tells the story from her perspective rather than from the perspective of the crew. Yes, it only takes about ten minutes for Dylan to bed her, but I actually bought it. It’s enjoyable to see the crew working together to solve a small-scale problem, and the story has a heart to it. (8/10)

3. Pride Before the Fall
Andromeda’s 100th episode, as Kevin Sorbo reminds us before the opening quotation, prompting me to reflect on what I’m doing with my life. We get a blooper reel at the end of the episode too. The episode features some Shakespearean dialogue: “Funny meeting you here” responded to by “It’s so funny, I forgot to laugh!”. Also, a bad guy says: “Give me your ship and everything you have” to which Dylan responds “You must be confusing me with someone who gives a ship!” The villain looks like Gary Busey and the episode actually explains the origin of the Nietzscheans while exploring temporal discrepancies between the Seefra system and the surrounding galaxies. Tyr gets named in the dialogue, too, which is the first time I remember him being mentioned since his last appearance in Season Four. (7/10)

4. The Eschatology of Our Present
Beka meets an old man who believes Beka to be her daughter, which sets off a story that works pretty well dramatically. We learn a lot of background (through exposition, as usual) of the Seefra system in this episode. The action (which includes another bar fight) and dialogue are a bit better than usual. (7/10)

Mediocre Episodes:

5. Quantum Tractate Delirium
In one of the most satisfying plot threads of the season, Rommie, who got destroyed in “The Dissonant Interval”, finally gets rebuilt seventeen episodes later. She emerges with gothic new look that conveniently exposes quite a bit of her figure. This all leads to an enjoyable plot twist and a pretty amusing android fight between Rommie and Doyle. (6/10)

6. The Weight: Part 2
Beka, Trance, and the Andromeda all show up again, but Rommie and Harper remain absent. Beka has some great character moments. We get as much of an explanation as we’ll ever get regarding how the crew got from Arkology to Seefra - Trance transported them somehow, for some reason. (6/10)

7. Decay of the Angel
Doyle learns more about herself, creating some interesting conflicts with Harper regarding the ethics of programming an Android to think that it/she is human. Otherwise it’s just your standard Andromeda episode with perfunctory spark-squib action. (6/10)

8. Attempting Screed
Flavin returns, causing two gangs to war over access to the goods in his ship. Rhade and Harper cleverly profit by playing off of both of the feuding factions. There’s some cool music, for a change. The episode is juvenile but fun enough. (6/10)

9. Saving Light from a Black Sun
Several of our crewmembers travel around a structure inside one of the Seefra system’s suns, which consists entirely of identical corridors that we somehow aren’t supposed to recognized as barely repurposed Andromeda Ascendant sets. The episode has some of the season’s best visual effects, including quite a few that were developed specifically for this episode. I think this episode is supposed to have a lot of significance for Season 5’s story arc, but I honestly just can’t be bothered to iron out all the details. (5/10)

10. One More Day's Light
Someone complains about a lack of resources to provide for refugees who Dylan is transporting to safety; Dylan response by having Rommie and Doyle beat the shit out of him. It’s kind of funny to think about, given Kevin Sorbo’s politics, that his character here is literally beating the shit out of someone for speaking out against bringing in more refugees. The plot concerns a faction that exists entirely in the Recurring Cave Set that refuses to evacuate a doomed planet. Rommie and Doyle make an amusing Star Wars reference (“We are not the droids you’re looking for!”) which, given the presence of Earth in the lore of the series, might actually make sense. As if anyone cares. (5/10)

11. Phear Phactor Phenom
Harper finally returns, Doyle makes her first appearance, and Dylan interacts with a digital version of Rommie. Nano-bots possess extras on Seefra, making them slightly more insufferable than usual. Some good character moments (particularly from Harper) amidst hammy action and murky long-term plot development. (5/10)

12. What Will Be Was Not
The crew stumbles upon Vedran portals that connect the Seefra planets, which the show forgers about later in the season in several moments when they would have been very helpful, looked after by Orlund, one of the more interesting guest characters. The Andromeda gets powered up, too. An okay episode. (5/10)

13. Chaos and the Stillness of It
Some dude gets mad because the Andromeda saved the population of several planets, though in fairness he turns out to have an ulterior agenda. The Abyss shows up for the first time in ages, although I’m not sure why or how, and he/it isn’t nearly as intimidating as in the early seasons. Lots of poorly-staged action and disjointed plot development, but the ensemble gets enough to do that it’s still a passable episode. (5/10)

14. Moonlight Becomes You
Trance has a bizarre pseudo-romance with someone who dresses up as a sun god but turns out to be a moon god…I’m sure there are detailed explanations for everything that happens, but I just don’t care enough to figure it all out. Dylan beats up the dude and oh-so hilariously stammers “Looks like it’s sun-DOWN.” Someone mentions magnetic forces, to which Dylan responds that they do “nothing but repel me!” The episode conveys four stories, only two of which take place in the Recurring Cave Set. (4/10)

15. Past Is Prolix
A forgettable action episode, with some enjoyable moments from Orlund, who returns from “What Will Be Was Not” to sing praises about Dylan. Rhade blows away some villains and actually says “Bye bye bad guys.” (4/10)

16. The Weight: Part 1
Dylan finds himself transported through the Route of Ages and on Seefra One, which has anti-technology laws, water shortages, and residents who promptly initiate a bar fight. Dylan meets Flavin, a fellow Paradine, and reunites with Rhade. A lot of plot threads get set up, none interesting; fortunately, many are forgotten later in the season. (4/10)

17. So Burn the Untamed Lands
Dylan fights Doran from BSG, who plays a remarkably incompetent villain, even by the standards of the show. It’s a run-of-the-mill, forgettable episode. (4/10)

Bad Episodes:

18. The Heart of the Journey: Part 2
I admire the gall that goes into (spoiler) blowing up Earth before the opening credits, which devastates Harper (though he’s in a great mood at the end of the episode, apparently having forgotten about the destruction of his home planet). The finale has a fair number of good character moments and a huge (though not particularly impressive) space battle - the first of any scale that we’ve seen in ages. They Abyss is defeated so unconvincingly that we need expository dialogue to explain what is happening to use. Worst of all, THE MAGOG WORLD SHIP NEVER APPEARS ONSCREEN - what the hell is the point of negating the most satisfying part of “The Dissonant Interval” and bringing back the show’s central threat only to never address it again? All the lapses in logic and continuity errors only reinforce my preferred interpretation (Dylan imagining a happier ending after the events of “The Dissonant Interval”) and the finale only serves as final proof that Season Five has no creative purpose and is better off being skipped entirely. It’s a genuine ending, at least, but it’s so anticlimactic that it’s only a nudge better than an unresolved cliffhanger. (3/10)

19. The Heart of the Journey: Part 1 - Flavin appears in hologram form to warn Dylan that all other Paradine’s have been killed. The crew finally leaves the Seefra system. Traveling through the Route of Ages somehow causes us to see an unnecessary flashback montage that feels like putting the Season 5 footage through a blender. Rhade has an oddly emotional reunion with his wife, given that she has never appeared before in the show. We learn that the Magog World Ship survived the events of “The Dissonant Interval”, unsatisfyingly negating a lot of that episode’s significance. (3/10)

20. Totaled Recall
Dylan falls unconscious after an injury and imagines stuff. None of the episode feels like it matters, because it consists so totally of scenes that are obviously dreams that exist totally at the will of the writers. There is a clever touch: “Opposites of Attraction”, two episodes earlier, gave us a brief glimpse of a picture in Dylan’s quarters of Dylan and his wife, which sets up a reveal during Dylan’s hallucinations in this episode where we see Doyle inserted into the picture instead. Otherwise, given how this episode was directed, I was surprised not to see Neil Breen listed in the credits. (2/10)

Terrible Episodes:

21. The Test
Some entity attempts to solve the murder of a character we don’t care about. We get lots of strangely-edited flashbacks that make the episode border on a clip show. It plays out like Farscape’s “The Ugly Truth”, but only with false drama as the characters are never convincingly in danger. This episode fits with the dream explanation for Season Five that I described above as its moral is that they crew can best put aside their personal differences by uniting in their worship of Dylan. (1/10)

22. The Opposites of Attraction
The black-hole-avatar-has-a-crush-on-Dylan episode that I described above. It’s laughably bizarre and the ultimate example of the Sorbo self-infatuation that so often appears in the scripts, as Dylan gets a sudden television-friendly sex scene (his last in the show) with another woman who swoons at the site of 90s swoop hair. Given the series’ insane obsession with the Dylan-Rhade fight from the pilot episode, I also got a good laugh when the Andromeda turned out to have archive footage in its memory banks of that fight seen that included all the same camera angles and sound effects. (1/10)

There you have it, my full write-up on Andromeda! I spent about three years with this show. In the future, I think that I will now stop doing things for the sake of doing them, but going through this whole series does give me a strange sense of accomplishment.
Baron Samedi
Sun, Mar 5, 2017, 10:36pm (UTC -6)
Tagging @Samaritan and @Leah (who I figure are the same person) in case he/she is interested in reading my post.
Tue, May 2, 2017, 3:16pm (UTC -6)
@Baron Samedi You should receive an award for not only sitting through all of it but actually writing about it, too!

I watched it all when it first aired here in the UK. I don't remember the timeslot but I do know that we only watched later series to poke fun at it after the quality disappeared early. The final season was utterly incoherent, ill conceived, badly acted and very, very funny if you watched it after consuming a few drinks. 'She's who?' 'Why does he look different?' 'Do you want more ice with your scotch?'

All I really know is that the original premise was promising. A ship that's 300 years old but, now retrieved, is the most powerful ship around has changed the balance of power in a universe that's basically run by Chicago gangsters. And the captain is an idealist so what's he going to do? Particularly interesting is that the universe is a big place so while the ship is the biggest and baddest wherever it happens to be, it can't be everywhere at once.

What a waste of a good concept!

Oh, and the other thing I recall is that I was once in a hotel bar in Toronto and one of the staff looked just like Rommie. (It wasn't her!)

I can't think why remembering this programme makes me thirsty...
Ashton Withers
Sat, May 13, 2017, 8:27pm (UTC -6)
Baron Samedi, thanks for finishing the show! I check back here every once in a while just to see if you did it or not and sure enough here I am reading your Season 5 reviews. Thanks again. They are interesting to read.
Baron Samedi
Fri, Jun 9, 2017, 10:06am (UTC -6)
Thanks for the positive feedback @Trajan and @Ashton Withers! Glad at least a couple people read what I wrote. I kept searching for Andromesa Season 4 and 5 reviews and found nothing, and since I'm too lazy to start my own website, maybe my comments here can be helpful for anyone interested in how the show ended up.
Wed, Jun 14, 2017, 11:28am (UTC -6)
@Baron S: Want to add my thanks. The "Space" channel in Canada started reairing the show a couple months back, so I decided to partake. But not every day, so I wanted some sense of which episodes were worth watching. (I had seen it when it first came out, to a point.) So, excellent analysis into these late seasons, good on you for sticking with it! (Also, hey yeah, Sliders did kind of fall apart in a similar way, didn't it.)

I pretty much agree with your choices. (I didn't bother watching some of the lesser ones.) Harper really is the highlight of Season Five, and man did it get tiring, the others ragging on him all the time. (You build one time bridge...) One thing about that "Heart of the Journey" finale you didn't mention - apparently the Nietzscheans are still at war? With themselves or the Commonwealth or something? It was ridiculous and made no sense (hence why you perhaps wisely didn't bring it up) but since we see battles with their ships, and never the Magog, I have to ask why in the universe they didn't keep the World Ship destroyed (you're so right in that bringing it back was pointless), and instead claim the Abyss took over the Nietzscheans to perpetuate the conflict. That would have at least made sense, they could even have thrown in a line about getting at the race through Tyr's spirit or something.

I sort of like your thought that this is all happening in Dylan's head. The lunacy at the finish is oxygen deprivation or something. Oh, and when Rhade was apologizing to his wife at the end, I envisioned this exchange:
"Rhade, according to all we know, you were only missing four days. What's the worst you could have done?"
"You want the stuff on Seefra, or before that, when I was all about romancing this pacifist?"

As a bonus to ANYONE for reading this far down (assuming you don't already know about the following), Robert Hewitt Wolfe wrote a fanfic called "Coda" in 2005. It's a story told by Trance to Harper about a different sort of future... one which, we can presume, is what he had in mind from the beginning. Find it at this link:

It's definitely worth reading, but I'm going to offer up a few TL;DR insights for those who aren't inclined to copy/paste.

Spoilers. Really.

So, DYLAN unites the Commonwealth and TYR unites the Nietzscheans, and they fight a bunch. HARPER gradually loses his humanity (something VERY subtly foreshadowed in "Be All My Sins Remembered" of Season 2, with Beka's old flame Bobby having become a cyborg, the same Bobby who once got Harper interested in a data port... also in "The Dark Backward" from Season 3 when Trance can't find a future where Harper's life continues unchanged) and so Harper hooks up with the Consortium of Parts (from "The Sum of Its Parts" in Season One). REV BEM unites the Wayists. Four groups.

Meanwhile, BEKA reassembles the Engine of Destiny ("In Heaven Now Are Three" of Season 2 started this, presumably "The Shards of Rimni"'s Season 3 episode, where Dylan sought pieces of a vase, was a corruption of some script continuation). This means that when the four prior groups finally ally themselves against the Magog (I may be reading more into it, but think ROMMIE as the biggest warship had a hand in that), Beka's in a position to use the Engine to turn the tide of the conflict with her decision. TRANCE being a sun avatar is actually not that far off base (seriously, read "Coda").

And with that, the sun sets on "Andromeda". No, not "Mass Effect". We barely knew you.
Baron Samedi
Sun, Jun 18, 2017, 9:21pm (UTC -6)
@matthans thanks as well for all the feedback! It's nice to hear from someone who knows the show so well.

My impression of the battle in "The Heart of the Journey" is that the Commonwealth was fighting the Nietzcheans, who were being controlled by the Abyss, which is basically what you are saying. The show provided so little insight into what was happening that I had to assume that the Magog World Ship being brought back and then never actually appearing on-screen was the result of script rewrites, perhaps motivated by time constraints and the budgetary issues entailed by producing new digital effects footage of the World Ship.

As to "Coda", I didn't read it until after finishing the series on the off-chance that it would spoil some of the story (it didn't), and It's a nice, poetic glimpse into what the story could have been. Seasons 2.5 onwards does have some great moments (season 3's "The Unconquerable Man", showing the alternate timeline with Rhade persevering in the pilot episode, really made an impression on me), but I didn't realize until I read "Coda" how much I missed Robert Hewitt Wolf's grasp of Andromeda's characters and the potential of the overarching story.
Sun, Jul 2, 2017, 9:54am (UTC -6)
I’m only me. I’m not Samaritan.

Wow, the script from jammers review is where Andromeda should have gone. Thanks for the link! I will probably dust off my old Andromeda CDs one day and begin watching, but am so used to streaming, may need to get out an instruction book to figure out how to use my DVD player.

I think that Sorbo either took over the writing or he only allowed his ideas in the writing, which pretty much explains a lot of the migraine that is season 5.

You are way too kind about season 5 btw.

I thought it was odd that anyone in their right minds would think that some very bad sex scenes and a “sexual” female that replaced just about everybody, would boost ratings. I suppose it’s the christian misconception that misunderstands the rest of the world, who are not as hung up on sex as they are. Give me a good storyline with interesting characters any day.
Great to see Trance back in the script link. There is a reason producers should STFU when it comes to their writers. Writers usually know WTF is going on timeline and otherwise.

I couldn’t help but chuckle when you talked about the budget. The whole thing was pretty 1999 level production, imo. Actually 1999 had better F/X.
I don’t mind Sorbo in Hercules, but I can’t help but wonder if someone other than Sorbo had been involved in Andromeda how it might have been more about the crew and less about the captain, and been more sophisticated in it’s storyline. Let’s face it. Sci Fi fans can put up with a lot but bad storytelling. Not so much.
Wed, Aug 23, 2017, 10:01pm (UTC -6)
Well, I did it. After realizing that I'd already seen more than four seasons worth over the past months, I decided to go for broke. I caught some missing eps as "Space" looped back to the start, looked up others online, and completed the set of 110 in order to offer up a post that ranked them.

My look is a bit different from Baron Samedi (and Jammer), in that I looked at long-term consequences in retrospect, using this five-point scale: Forgettable, Necessary, Adequate, Superior and Memorable. So some lousy eps with notable plot elements might be tagged "Necessary", while some eps decently produced but which felt repetitive (to me) might be tagged "Forgettable". They're all in there though, with a sentence or two explaining my reasoning.

If you're curious, here's the site:

Glad the "Coda" link seemed useful.
@Baron S: Your insight is probably correct, and things were so fractured by the end that I might have missed something. Also, agreed that there were some great moments into Season 3 (I even felt it wrapped up better than 2)... but possibly "Coda" should be read last by anyone simply for that nostalgia feel. How far we've come/fallen.
Baron Samedi
Thu, Aug 31, 2017, 10:30pm (UTC -6)
@mathtans I just saw this and will give your blog page a read! I hope you found the journey through the whole series to be worthwhile.
Thu, Feb 8, 2018, 5:01pm (UTC -6)
Just dropped by to see if Jammer had any insights into Andromeda. I've been watching the last few weeks and have finally reached season 5 and cannot figure out what the heck is going on! I'd hoped that Jammer had reviewed the series and could explain. Oh well. I certainly can't blame him for not continuing the reviews (did he even try to watch later seasons, I wonder). I must be a masochist because I'm determined to see it through to the bitter end but have given up any hope, based on the comments above, of it getting any better.

In any event, I've always enjoyed Jammer's reviews of SF programs/movies and thank him for his time.
Fri, Feb 9, 2018, 11:53am (UTC -6)
Just wanted to add a thank you to Baron Samdi for giving his reviews of Andromeda. I will finish watching season 5 and then probably thank my stars that it is over. I couldn't put the effort into watching, much less writing about, the series that he does.
Tue, May 15, 2018, 9:28am (UTC -6)
I have to admit, I was curious about watching this show thanks to the Roddenberry connection, the cool sounding premise, and some suggestions from friends. Reviews like this one and some clips I've watched have definitely made me reconsider the idea! This sounds like an even bigger squandering of a great concept than Voyager!

You mentioned that you wouldn't be doing a review series for Farscape, but it's something I'd love to hear your opinion on someday, it managed to have some genuinely great action and fun high-concepts while still managing to include some deeper themes, very much what this show seemed to be trying to do.
Thu, Aug 5, 2021, 12:57pm (UTC -6)
Kevin Sorbo is a colossal idiot. If we had known all the details then that we know now, oh my, maybe the show could have been saved. The premise remains one of the better ones, and from time to time you can see how Wolfe manager to sneak something interesting and some not completely dumbed down plot breadcrumbs past Sorbo.

That is all.

Ok, almost. I need to marvel once more at the sheer quantity of dumbness. It's quite an archievement to single handedly take a whole TV series production, with complex premise, planned plot threads, ensemble cast and production values, and drag it down to your own sad level of idiocy, having it almost literally end in a western saloon with plots that feel like they were written by a 10 year old kid going "pew pew pew!".

It's almost tragic that hammer stopped reviewing this. Imagine, what a field day he would have had with that last season! I can picture the list of exclusively zero star episodes and Jammer in unlimited sarcasm mode :-D

Maybe I need to re-watch season 5 a bit . It may very well be the worst TV Series Season Of All Time. Likely not the intended type of entertainment value, but entertainment value nonetheless.

Ah well, the universe put Sorbo in Christian Apologetics Direct to DVD land afterwards. So there was some karma business happening eventually :)
Thu, Aug 5, 2021, 12:59pm (UTC -6)
(edit: when I say "the show could have been saved", like many others in the commens I obviously meant "by firing Sorbo at the beginning of season 2", just to be clear)
Thu, Aug 5, 2021, 1:16pm (UTC -6)
Thu, Aug 5, 2021, 12:57pm (UTC -5)
Kevin Sorbo is a colossal idiot. If we had known all the details then that we know now, oh my, maybe the show could have been saved. The premise remains one of the better ones, and from time to time you can see how Wolfe manager to sneak something interesting and some not completely dumbed down plot breadcrumbs past Sorbo.

That is all.

Ok, almost. I need to marvel once more at the sheer quantity of dumbness. It's quite an archievement to single handedly take a whole TV series production, with complex premise, planned plot threads, ensemble cast and production values, and drag it down to your own sad level of idiocy, having it almost literally end in a western saloon with plots that feel like they were written by a 10 year old kid going "pew pew pew!".

Just how does Sorbo being a colossal idiot (in your view) affect the change in writing staff which led to the demise of the series? The first 2.5 seasons of this show were really good. (which BTW included Sorbo)
Thu, Aug 5, 2021, 2:27pm (UTC -6)
Putting aside Andromeda for the moment, I just wanted to express my profound respect for Kevin Sorbo for standing up for what he believes in while surrounded by so much woke bullshit in Hollywood.

He's taken a lot of flak for his more conservative views and he's anything but a "colossal idiot." Why should he just succumb to the wave of left-wing crap that permeates the industry he works in? Hollywood and the media are promoting hate, anger, and divisiveness, and Sorbo is taking a stand against that. The hypocrisy of Hollywood is unbelievable.

He's now making independent movies that seem to me to be more aligned with what classic Star Trek (not the nu Trek or woke Trek that is DSC, PIC) stood for -- providing a sense of hope.
Thu, Aug 5, 2021, 3:26pm (UTC -6)
From his twitter
"New York is now requiring proof of vaccination for indoor dining and gyms.

It took a year and a half.

I did nazi that coming."
"How come we've got to be nice to them when they're not nice to us!"
"Average 911 response time: 10 minutes.

Average 1911 response time: 2 seconds.

The 2nd amendment is a right, not a privilege others can take away."
"My son adopted a male dog, neutered him, but that didn’t change his gender.


So let's just slowly step away from the hopeful man.
Jason R.
Thu, Aug 5, 2021, 5:46pm (UTC -6)
I can't understand why vaccinated people are so obsessed with other people not being vaccinated. I know I got the vaccine for the express purpose of not giving a shit what other people do. I am about to go to the gym and I wouldn't be bothered if every other person there was unvaccinated. If they give me COVID even if I get symptoms I am very unlikely to end up in a hospital. If they get it and die, it's their fault for not getting vaccinated. Not my concern.
Fri, Aug 6, 2021, 3:02am (UTC -6)
Well, one could mention that there are numerous groups who cannot get vaccinated or even if they get the vaccine have a far higher risk of dying. People with auto immune diseases, for example. My father among them.
How about single mothers working two jobs who just do not have the time to get a vaccine. Should they fear death every time they enter a burger king?

"If they get it and die, it's their fault for not getting vaccinated."
Let's not forget what the Torah says:" A person should always be soft like a reed and not rigid like a cedar."

I actually chose that tweet because of the Nazi thing at the end. While you can certainly disagree with the measure New York has taken, it seems extremely hyperbolic to compare that measure to the nazis.
All these tweets were from the last month, by the way. I could have chosen others. Like this little nugget from july 28
"I remember when people said “we need a plague to kill off all the boomers.” Then this little thing comes along and everyone’s a wimp about it."
Jason R.
Fri, Aug 6, 2021, 4:23am (UTC -6)
"Well, one could mention that there are numerous groups who cannot get vaccinated or even if they get the vaccine have a far higher risk of dying. People with auto immune diseases, for example. My father among them.
How about single mothers working two jobs who just do not have the time to get a vaccine. Should they fear death every time they enter a burger king?"

My point was that an unvaccinated person is unlikely to be a threat to me so why would I be upset if they let unvaccinated people at a particular restaurant or gym or whatnot where I go?

I didn't say I don't care if unvaccinated people die in general - I simply noted that there is no particular reason for me personally to be afraid or want to insist that I only interact with other vaccinated people.

The mythical single mom working two jobs and unable to find time to get a vaccine isn't working out at a gym or dining at a restaurant nor is the immunocompromised cancer patient, incidentally.

I was addressing those examples because the tweet I suspect was referring to vaccinated people going ape shit about GASP non vaccinated being allowed in their gyms and restaurants, which as I noted, makes no sense at all.

"Let's not forget what the Torah says:" A person should always be soft like a reed and not rigid like a cedar."

I stopped caring about what the Torah said when I was 9 or 10. Actually scratch that, I never cared what the Torah said.

Apologies for the tangent. I promise to stop unless further engaged.
Jason R.
Fri, Aug 6, 2021, 4:28am (UTC -6)
"I actually chose that tweet because of the Nazi thing at the end. While you can certainly disagree with the measure New York has taken, it seems extremely hyperbolic to compare that measure to the nazis."

Oh I agree actually. I may I have misred the context. In my mind I thought he was accusing vaccinated people who want to ban unvaccinated people from their gyms and such as being Nazi-ish which is obviously hyperbolic but not without a grain of truth. As I said, I find it bizarre that people who have least to fear from the virus seem now to be the most fearful.
Fri, Aug 6, 2021, 5:55am (UTC -6)
"I may I have misred the context. In my mind I thought he was accusing vaccinated people who want to ban unvaccinated people from their gyms..."
I think it was aimed at public policy.

" As I said, I find it bizarre that people who have least to fear from the virus seem now to be the most fearful."
Is that an actual problem on your side of the pond? Maybe just media spin? I don't think that anybody over here is concerned. At least I haven't heard or read anything about it.

Well, but you are right. If you don't feel like answering I can certainly understand. Kevin Sorbo, or the SORB as his friends call him, seems to be a very divisive figure. That's why I posted a few of his statements that are questionable. Debating him will just devolve into a flame war.
Fri, Aug 6, 2021, 7:07am (UTC -6)

"seems to be a very divisive figure. That's why I posted a few of his statements that are questionable."

Questionable? ... only if you are in the left woke attack mob.
Jason R.
Fri, Aug 6, 2021, 7:20am (UTC -6)
"Is that an actual problem on your side of the pond? Maybe just media spin? I don't think that anybody over here is concerned. At least I haven't heard or read anything about it."

It could be media spin but I keep reading about vaccinated people being outraged at having to interact with unvaccinated and wanting establishments like gyms and restaurants to ban the unvaccinated.

It's like they forgot why they got vaccinated in the first place.
Fri, Aug 6, 2021, 7:59am (UTC -6)
completely agree @Yanks.

Sorbo is taking a stand against Hollywood which is dominated by the divisive woke left, which the vast majority of Americans do not identify with. He has been blacklisted, condemned by them and still has the courage to fight their disingenuous discourse and toxic culture. Some of his comments may seem to a reasonable person to be inflammatory but it is nothing compared to the vile garbage of the woke left. The greater context of his comments needs to be taken into consideration.
Fri, Aug 6, 2021, 8:19am (UTC -6)
Good to know that joking about millions of old people dying in pain, comparing New York state policy to the Nazis and the neutering of dogs to transpeople is A-OK for you.
Fri, Aug 6, 2021, 10:40pm (UTC -6)
Man, what is it with people who infect these comments sections with their own bullshit take on celebrity politics.

Here I was super excited that people are actually talking about Andromeda again! Cause what a promising season 1. And what a let down in season 2 after Robert Hewitt Wolfe was shown the door.

But no, it’s the usual morons posting some copy-paste from twitter. So obsessed with The Lives of Others.

And without even trying to tie the discussion back to the actual show!

Cause you know, Andromeda’s second season episode “Bunker Hill” will actually get you somewhat closer to being relevant. You are, after all, posting in the season 2 review thread - the least you can do is bother to watch season 2.

In “Bunker Hill” Shamus Harper goes back to Boston to lead a revolution (a Boston Tea Party?) against the Drago-Kazsov.

Boston, you know that city a few hours north of New York?

Well, like most sane people who read history, the mayor of Boston has called what New York City is doing similar to slavery-era freedom papers. And she should know. She’s black. She was bussed as a kid to integrate schools. She was a teen mother. She's seen some real shit.

"There's a long history in this country of people needing to show their papers, whether we're talking about this from the standpoint, you know, after, during slavery, post-slavery. As recent as, you know, what immigrant population has to go through here.”

Now it hardly surprises me that our resident German is not at all troubled by the “your papers ma’am” ism of NYC. Probably brings back memories of the good old days.

But given that the majority of blacks are unvaccinated, while the majority of vaccines have gone to whites, people are obviously pissed off when you start moving back to a system that would result in whites-preferred restaurants, gyms and bars. Well, people who aren’t German anyway.

Dylan was an incredible captain. And Sorbo did an insane job on that show, given all the problems it faced. Couldn't care less about his celebrity take on politics. That said, I am not surprised that the black mayor of Boston and normal literate folk like Sorbo are on the same side. If I cared what celebrities said, I would go see where SMG falls on this debate. But I don't want to - she’s plays a terrible captain on Discovery, and doesn’t do a very good job of it either - regardless of her celebrity take on politics.

I really don’t care what pretty people post to twitter. And even if I did, I wouldn’t come to @Jammer’s site to find out.

Trust in the Harper, people. The Harper is good.
Sat, Aug 7, 2021, 2:29am (UTC -6)
I think it is great that so many right wing people have completely given up on even pretending to be decent people or reality and are now showing us their true hatemongering, egomaniacal and intolerant selves.
Sat, Aug 7, 2021, 3:00am (UTC -6)

Here Mal, only a little more and you can finally overthrow the vile democracy.
Baron Samedi
Sat, May 14, 2022, 5:59pm (UTC -6)
To the extent anyone is still here (looks like the last comment is from 8 months ago), I feel like sharing that the whole Andromeda series is currently available to watch legitimately for free (with ads) on YouTube:
Thu, Feb 2, 2023, 12:07pm (UTC -6)
Jammer - I know you won't review Andromeda S3-5 (nor will I ask you to - life is too short to subject yourself to that dreck), but Robert Hewitt Wolfe wrote a one-act play called "Coda" which summed up what he would have done with the series had he remained in charge. Did you ever read it, and if so, what were your thoughts?

I myself thought it was an interesting take which could have been great (given decent execution) and would have been better than the lame-brained dreck we got. At the very least, it would have given more meaning/depth to some of the standalone stories and antagonists, like the Discount Borg - er, I mean, the Consensus of Parts.

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