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Jammer's Review
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
"Take Me Out to the Holosuite"
***
Air date: 10/19/1998
Written by Ronald D. Moore
Directed by Chip Chalmers
Review by Jamahl Epsicokhan
"Scotch." -- O'Brien's choice for the flavor of chewing gum

Nutshell: Corny and overplayed at times, but an amiable outing overall.

Let me begin this review with a massive digression. I live in Central Illinois, about halfway between Chicago and St. Louis. For those of you who are completely not up on baseball, there was a home run race this past season between Sammy Sosa of the Chicago Cubs and Mark McGwire of the St. Louis Cardinals. There's a long-standing rivalry in my parts; there are a lot of Cubs fans and Cardinals fans, and the rivalry exists through the fans as much as it does through the teams themselves.

So, yes, as a Cubs fan I was rooting for Sosa, and McGwire ended up with the record, but that's not the point. The point is that it's been a great year for baseball--even for a cynical fair-weather fan like myself who was down on the sport (it's simply too often boring to watch) even before the strike. Having Cal Ripken bring his streak to an end also helped a season full of great moments.

What's my point? Well, I guess it's that if you're going to make an episode in which Sisko and the crew of DS9 pick up bats and gloves for a game of baseball against a Vulcan crew, you might as well do it in a year when baseball is doing well.

Really, "Take Me Out to the Holosuite" couldn't have aired at a much better time. Those who complain this episode is too much of a waste-of-time fluff piece to belong in DS9's final season are perhaps taking this series a bit too seriously (there's still plenty of time for the meatier stuff). Even so, I'll admit that this is precisely the sort of episode that may or may not work for you.

While it worked for me, I'll also admit that I don't want to see many more fluff episodes during season seven. We have important stuff to cover before it's all over. Time right now may still be abundant, but that won't be the case as the months roll by.

But one fluff piece at this juncture is absolutely fine, and given Sisko's avid passion for baseball--a character trait that goes back to episode one--this is a show that I think needed to be made for the sake of itself. It's not by any means a visionary comic piece (that honor still goes to fifth season's "In the Cards"), but it's got enough charm to get by.

At times, this episode is about as obvious and hammy as it can be. There are the typical scenes where a fly ball goes way over Rom's head, or where Bashir and Dax both call a fly ball and then it drops between them. Ha ha. Like "The Magnificent Ferengi" last year, Chip Chalmers' direction is adequate, though not all that invigorating.

But I'm electing, if for no other reason (though there are others), to give this episode three stars because of the conversation Bashir and O'Brien have about chewing gum. Without recapping the entire exchange, I'll just say the point where Miles says "scotch" is a masterstroke of comic timing on the part of the multitalented Colm Meaney.

What sets the whole baseball game in motion is also fairly delicious. Captain Solok (Gregory Wagrowski), a Vulcan captain with a crew composed entirely of Vulcans (whom he believes is the "finest in the fleet"), swings by DS9 for a repair layover and challenges Sisko and his crew to a game of baseball. Well, Sisko knows that his crew is the "finest in the fleet," so he'll be damned if he doesn't accept this challenge and beat Solok--to a pulp if possible. The first scene between Sisko and Solok sets the stage wonderfully: Sisko obviously hates this guy, and the conversation is about as icy as any conversation Sisko has had since the early seasons of Gul Dukat or Kai Winn.

Later, we find out why Sisko so much wants to trounce Solok in a competition: Sisko and Solok have a bitter rivalry that goes all the way back to the academy days. Unfortunately, Sisko has been at the butt end of this rivalry on every occasion. Solok, being a particularly arrogant Vulcan, has taken every opportunity over the years to use a single emotional oversight on Sisko's part as an example that Vulcan logic is superior to human emotionalism.

Now, I should probably register a complaint here regarding the social implications of an "all-Vulcan crew." While I don't look at Sisko and Solok's competition here as being racially motivated (any more than I see the cultural pride of Klingons as anti-human), I do wonder why Starfleet would have a ship with an all-Vulcan crew. It's perhaps a measure of a specific cultural circumstance, and I don't think it boils down to intentional segregation, but the question is still there, and without a given answer.

But, really, this isn't a matter of race; it's a matter of rivalry. Rivalries can become ugly things (just ask anyone in the Chicago area about the Green Bay Packers), and "Take Me Out to the Holosuite" captures that irrational ugliness well.

Next comes Sisko's baseball tryouts. I must say it was amusing watching the crew of DS9 read over baseball rules, including complex aspects like "the infield fly rule." The subsequent field practice was a little on the stale and predictable side (Rom being as much of an idiot at baseball as everything else, for example), but watching Sisko get so wrapped up in the whole thing was simultaneously amusing and frightening--especially when he kicks Rom off the team for being, well, terrible at baseball.

There are plenty of genuinely funny moments to make up for the ones that come off as staged and trite. Watching Odo practice his umpiring "moves" was fun, and Worf's deathly competitive attitude benefited from a few nicely placed lines like, "Death to the opposition!" (Besides, no one can make the line "We will destroy them" sound half as good as Worf.)

The game between Sisko's team (the "Niners") and the Vulcans plays a lot like a standard sports movie, with the predictably big moments and the exaggerated competitiveness (Sisko really wants to win). There's even a scene where Sisko argues with Umpire Odo and gets himself thrown out of the game. Even better is the later scene when Odo throws Solok out ("Yer gone!" Odo says with an evil grin).

I won't recap the whole game, but I particularly liked the fact that, for once, a sports story can end without Our Heroes winning the game. In fact, Our Heroes get beat 10-1. Let's face it: Most of the Niners have never played baseball before, and two weeks to prepare is not going to make them a solid team. The question ultimately becomes whether or not the Niners--and, more specifically, Sisko--can have fun despite the bitterness of the rivalry and the fact that they don't have a prayer against Solok's team.

Somewhere along the line, it becomes clear that to score once against Solok's team would be satisfaction enough for the Niners. What's amusing here is that Our Heroes get to celebrate for scoring one run to the Vulcans' 10. And the eventual "manufactured triumph" is just as stinging to Solok as a real one. In many ways, Sisko wins this round in the Solok/Sisko rivalry, because he's able to overcome his own pride and Solok's attempts to provoke him. Putting Rom into the game at the last minute (where he cluelessly bumbles his way into bunting in the Niners' only run) is the perfect way to demonstrate that baseball is really "just a game" for Sisko, where having fun through the unpredictability of the sport is its most important quality. He won't let Solok ruin that.

"Take Me Out to the Holosuite" isn't what I would call particularly good DS9, but it's too likable to resist, so I'm not going to be a stick in the mud by trying. Seeing as the second half of the season is likely to become DS9 Wrap-Up Central, we might as well take our fluff pieces while we still can (although I doubt I'll be so generous next time). I enjoyed this episode, even if it was more for what it was than for what it did.

Next week: The return of Bashir's crazies.

Previous episode: Afterimage
Next episode: Chrysalis

39 comments on this review
Jakob M. Mokoru - November 23, 2007 - 12:16 pm (USA Central Time)
I found "Take me out..." a very, very funny episode - even when I am austrian and don't know anything at all about baseball!

But it must be great for fans of the game - I suppose, Michael Piller loved it!!
indijo - January 18, 2008 - 10:15 am (USA Central Time)
As a big sci-fi fan, I had problems following this one, because I couldn't for a second believe that they were actually playing this game on the holosuite of DS9. I'm sorry, but I really couldn't believe it for a nanosecond. The DS9 holosuite isn't half as big as what would be required for a really serious game of baseball.
Jasyson - January 21, 2008 - 10:46 pm (USA Central Time)
To get this out of the way right off the bat (no pun intended) the reality of a holodeck going all the way back to TNG has always been suspect so for a long time now I just have a large suspension of disbelief when it comes to this technology but I digress.

To me while this episode isn't a solid dramatic piece its still a solid story that manages to use all of the cast IE an ensemble and thats a good thing because I love all these characters and when they all get together its quite a sight.
Andreas - May 31, 2008 - 05:10 pm (USA Central Time)
@indijo
People are being held back by magnetic fields. They think they are running but are actually not moving in the holosuite.
AeC - June 29, 2008 - 11:30 am (USA Central Time)
@Andreas
[pedantic geek]Perhaps, but how do you take into account the distance from, say, the catcher and an outfielder? Does the holosuite alter the laws of perspective for each individual in the room?[/pedantic geek]

This ep is almost as amiable and as enjoyable as it was the first time, but I wish some of the jokes held up better. It's just the familiarity aspect; I laughed hysterically at "Scotch" and "Death to the opposition!" the first time I saw this, but knowing they're coming just blunts the impact.
TC - September 6, 2008 - 08:32 am (USA Central Time)
@AeC: To answer the pedantic geek qustion... this is an excerpt from the novel "Avenger" where Kirk and Spock have to escape a holodeck prison cell. (Thanks to the copy-and-paste magic of ebooks!)

********

"All right, now don't move. You're going to give me a lesson in holosimulations."

Kirk ran a few steps to the meditation garden, leaned over the low wall, and scooped up two handfuls of sand. "First thing, where does the sand come from?"

Spock sounded totally disinterested. "It is replicatot matter. Everything physical with which we can interact is some form of replicator matter combined with precision forcefields."

Kirk started a trail of sand from the toe of Spock's boots, on a direct line toward the bricks where the guard and the healer had been standing. His first handful of sand ran out as he reached that brick. He kept going, checking to make sure he was keeping the line of sand straight. When he was finished with the second handful, he had a trail of sand at least eight meters long.

Kirk stood at the end of the sand line. "We're now farther apart than the room is wide. Explain to me how it works," Kirk called back to Spock.

"It is, of course, a logical impossibility," Spock said, still irritable. "As you walked away from me, sensors in the floor tracked your footsteps. As you neared the wall, forcefields in the floor began moving like a treadmill, giving you the physical sensation of walking, even though you remained in place. The OHD panels lining the cell projected holographic images to keep the scenery moving to match your apparent physical progress." "But you look as if you're eight meters away, Spock." "What you are seeing from your vantage point is a holographic image of me in forced perspective. In actuality, I am no more than three or four meters from you, as logic demands."

"So the real you is hidden behind a holographic screen," Kirk said.

"Until you come within a logical visual range of me. Then the plane of the holographic illusion will pass over me, allowing you to see me as I really am."
Nolan - June 4, 2009 - 10:22 pm (USA Central Time)
@ the above quote

Of course! It was so obvious! [/sarcasm} =P
Jay - August 15, 2009 - 11:59 am (USA Central Time)
Sorry, Andreas, but even if that magnetic field excuse were true (I persoanlly find it silly), it still doesn't change the simple spatial facts of the holosuite...the distance between the various people in the holosuite is larger than the size of the holosuite. The same issue occurred in Voyager as well, such as when several crewmembers went skiing at the enbd of "Macrocosm". I can see one person going skiing in the holodeck, because the holodeck will "move" around them, but several people at the same time? Not a chance...
Jay - August 15, 2009 - 12:26 pm (USA Central Time)
Sisko's obsession sure does put the final nail in the coffin of Roddenberry's "humans evolved beyond interpersonal conflict" meme, but its okay because that notion was always beyond obtuse.
Destructor - December 14, 2009 - 06:10 pm (USA Central Time)
Jay, TC's quote perfectly explains how people can
'appear' to be further from each other than the holodeck has the physical space for- they are all surrounded by holographic illusions.

In this case it's best to just suspend your disbelief.

Anyway, I hated this episode on first airing, but watching it again last night with my gf we both laughed ourselves silly. I guess my perspective has changed somewhat since I was a teen!
neozeks - June 9, 2010 - 05:58 pm (USA Central Time)
WORF: Find him and kill him!

FUNNIEST... LINE... EVER! :D
Shawn - June 27, 2010 - 08:53 pm (USA Central Time)
Not to be too nerdy but there was another federation starship on TOS that was all Vulcan, USS Intrepid. I can't remember the episode but I think it was the giant space amoeba thing that got them.

All in all an enjoyable episode that had a few laugh out loud moments. Especially the "scotch" line and "Find him and kill him" both lines fit the characters who said them perfectly.
Marco P. - August 21, 2010 - 11:03 pm (USA Central Time)
Not a zero stars episode (there were some fun moments), but being a huge sports fan myself (and therefore with a somewhat extensive knowledge of sports movies) I can safely say "Take Me Out to the Holosuite" uses every possible cliché of said genre.

Other than the already mentioned fly ball going way over Rom's head, or Bashir & Dax calling the same ball and then letting it drop between them, we got:
• The team of rookies having to overcome impossible odds by beating a team much much stronger than them.
• The training/practice montage.
• On the day of the big game, the initial "setback" with our heroes getting completely outscored, then somehow turning the situation around (albeit in this case, with the "manufactured victory").
• A "victory" achieved by the team's underdog (Rom in this case)

With captain Sisko being a huge baseball fan, it makes sense DS9 writers wanted to dedicate an entire episode to the sport. However how I was at least expecting a little bit greater originality. Perhaps I am too demanding.

P.S. thanks to the reader TC for *finally* shining some lights on how holodecks work in Star Trek. My suspension of disbelief had been by necessity, until this point, boundless. Now I can finally reconcile some of the past Trek holodeck-episodes I've watched.
Lee - September 9, 2010 - 02:06 pm (USA Central Time)
I loved this episode, but man Solok is a racist asshole.

I wonder where that baseball is now...
Nic - September 14, 2010 - 09:33 pm (USA Central Time)
What a pathetic excuse for an episode. Sorry if I sound harsh - maybe it is because I don't know anything about baseball - but there were very few moments that I was able to enjoy. Everyone is terribly out of character, especially Sisko. We're expected to believe that after all he's been through (losing his wife, chasing after Eddington, bringing the Romulans into the war and learning he was part-Prophet) he still holds a high-school grudge? I shouldn't be taking it so seriously... but if the episode had actually been funny, I wouldn't have been thinking about any of that. I absoloutely loved "The Magnificent Ferengi", "One Little Ship" and even "Who Mourns for Morn?" last season, but this one shot way off the mark. It just feels like a self-indulgence by the writers rather than a part of the Star Trek Universe. I sincerely hope to see another light-hearted episode before the series is over, because they can be fun... if they're done right.
ScooterGirl - December 10, 2010 - 11:08 pm (USA Central Time)
Well, I really like this episode and to those who disagree with me I say this: "Death to the opposition!"
Jay - December 25, 2010 - 10:54 pm (USA Central Time)
Destructor, sorry but no, TJ's explanation doesn't explain a thing, it's just a ridiculous cheat. You're telling me that when a player runs from first base to second, they are essentially riding a magnetic field conveyor belt that's actually keeping them mostly in place (never mind how that feels to a human body or how it affects it physiologically), but everyone else's perception is that they're running normally, and every player in the infield and outfield feels further away from each other than they are, and the baseball, when hit, is manipulated through forcefields to appear to make a normal trajectory in the air, and the person who it seems to be closest to moves to catch it, but magnetic fields keep them from colliding from someone who is near them but appears far from them? That's just ludicrous.

I wonder what happens if someone abruptly "ends program" in the middle of this magnetic free-for-all - I suspect sickbay would have a busy day.
Elliott - January 12, 2011 - 01:59 pm (USA Central Time)
@NIc
This entire series is self-indulgent, this one simply lacked a connection to the larger story arc, so it was both stupid AND pointless. Comedy has its place, but there is no reason to make such a pointless episode. Forget for a moment that humans have evolved beyond this petty sort of bickering...what the hell kind of Vulcans are these? Another note, what kind of racist organisation decides to allow someone like Solok to create an all-Vulcan starfleet crew? It's all just a creation of ridiculous clichés and arbitrary nonsense to make the game possible...and for what? As Marco P. pointed out, the whole thing is absolutely run-of-the-mill sports comedy, one of the worst kinds there are. Zero stars, worse than "Profit and Lace."
Elliott - January 12, 2011 - 02:05 pm (USA Central Time)
If you can give this episode three stars, you can give "Q2" three as well--it's the same thing in a different genre of stupid comedy. Again, you are endlessly forgiving of DS9's stupidity.
jon - January 27, 2011 - 05:19 pm (USA Central Time)
Elliot in the Immunity Syndrome The Intrepid had an all vulcan crew so there and whilst this episode is not great, bickering and pettiness is a part of human NATURE and it will always be with us you ought to know and Q2 was far worse because it completely destroyed the character and concept of Q
Elliott - January 27, 2011 - 05:53 pm (USA Central Time)
I don't see how this episode is less an assassination of Vulcans than Q2 of Q.
jon - January 28, 2011 - 08:37 am (USA Central Time)
Elliot want to see an assanasation of Vulcans watch Enterprise seasons 1 and 2. and your tolerance of Voyager's endless stupidity well pot kettle black.
Elliott - February 1, 2011 - 05:51 pm (USA Central Time)
"so there"?
"pot kettle black"?

what?

I do not forgive Voyager's stupidity, nor TNG or TOS's. Stupid is as stupid does. Q2 was a pretty stupid episode, but not more stupid than this one, so I don't see why this one get such a high rating. I agree that ENT did a pretty abysmal job with Vulcans, but what does that have to do with this? This is still bad.

As far as "The Immunity Syndrome" goes, I feel like that crew had some special attachment to defending Vulcan or something (I could easily be wrong in which case it was stupid back then too).
Jon - February 2, 2011 - 04:49 pm (USA Central Time)
Pot kettle black means your calling faults in other people that you yourself share and it's jammer's reviews and opinions and he rate's them according to his own opinions so ask him
jon - February 4, 2011 - 03:57 pm (USA Central Time)
Football is not a matter of life and death it is more than that Bill Shankly

I can relate to this episode I'm a fan of Wolverhampton Wanderers. When the Wolves beat Albion a couple of years ago it meant something to me it wasn't a victory it was about pride, pride over beating Albion our rivals.

To sisko baseball is a part of him now in my view baseball is a bastardised version of cricket but when it comes to wolves vs albion it's abouut local pride victory over ypur rivals. Sisko wins at the emd of the day by one home run but he beats his adversary
jon - February 4, 2011 - 05:43 pm (USA Central Time)
This episode has similarities with fever pitch by Nick Hornby in which we explore an arsenal's fan obesssion vis a vis sisko's obsession with baseball and they joy he feels at the end
Polt - February 6, 2011 - 01:14 pm (USA Central Time)
Why is everyone quibbling over the physics of a holosuite? We've got ships moving at faster than light speeds, we've got a race of people that can physically change thier shape to anything, and we've got medical procedures that can do things we can't even comprehend now, and yet you're quibbling over a holosuite?

The show's about things that are impossible. Just let it go and have fun it with. Don't overanalyze everything to death.
Dunnik - April 16, 2011 - 08:44 pm (USA Central Time)
"So, yes, as a Cubs fan I was rooting for Sosa, and McGwire ended up with the record, but that's not the point. The point is that it's been a great year for baseball--even for a cynical fair-weather fan like myself who was down on the sport..."

Time to revise this, perhaps? Heh.
enniofan - April 16, 2011 - 08:52 pm (USA Central Time)
death to the opposition!

ha!
Carbetarian - April 24, 2011 - 04:08 pm (USA Central Time)
I can't believe there's so little praise here for my favorite line!

Worf: We will destroy them.

Lmao, Worf was comedy gold in this one.

Also funny:

"death to the oposition!"

"find him and kill him!"

And when Worf objects to brining Rom back because they have a man on third. Haha
Carbetarian - April 24, 2011 - 04:09 pm (USA Central Time)
*bringing
InAUGral - April 30, 2011 - 03:26 am (USA Central Time)
I found this episode very entertaining even though i dont like nor care about baseball. Though i wish Morn was in the crowd and drank heaps of beer or something, Morn never has got enough of a role( well he does get mentioned as doing things)
asdf - July 26, 2011 - 12:27 am (USA Central Time)
So... what if they used /multiple/ holosuites in the game? It could also be that each person is sort of divided from each other in a sort of holographic box, with each having a different image from that person's perspective projected...
Stubb - August 4, 2011 - 08:47 am (USA Central Time)
I'll buy what ASDF says above. Maybe Quark's holosuites (there are four of them right?) are like hotel conference rooms, with walls that can be opened up to join them together and create one giant holosuite. That would give a little more wiggle room for home plate --> outfield and running to first base. But also, don't forget that they are playing with holographic baseballs as well. When a long fly ball is hit to right field, the ball can be controlled/altered by the holosuite to appear to be traveling 350 feet.
Alessandro - September 3, 2011 - 07:13 pm (USA Central Time)
Masterpiece! Possibly the funniest Star Trek episode ever. So many races come together for a "humble" game of baseball, that is the work of a genius :)
gtr - September 13, 2011 - 07:18 pm (USA Central Time)
Seeing odo doing the moves has to be the funniest moment, closely followed by Worf's classics... :)
Jack - November 12, 2011 - 06:09 pm (USA Central Time)
A Starfleet vessel with an all Vulcan crew seems awfully un-Federationlike. Our military has been integrated since the Truman administration.
TDexter - November 17, 2011 - 06:25 pm (USA Central Time)
Regarding the all-Vulcan crew: this has always bugged me about the Federation. It seems like every colony is named after a place on Earth (New Sydney, etc.) and every starship named after a historical Earth place, figure, or naval vessel.

Then there's the whole scene in the last episode where Sisko or the admiral (can't be bothered to remember) says something along the lines that the triple alliance proves that "Klingons, Romulans, and Humans" can work together. Surely he meant to say the Federation?

It's always seemed to me that the writers have had difficulty showing that the Federation and Starfleet isn't completely anthropocentric. I can understand the impracticality of having to put enough extras in full makeup in order to make it seem more "diverse"; but at least the names could have been! I was surprised that the starship in this episode even had a Vulcan name.

Vulcans are obnoxious, so I wouldn't be surprised if they selectively segregated themselves. They're after all only a few nightly meditations away from being psychopathic Romulans.

As for the holodeck physics speculation -- oh, come on! It's science fiction. You're supposed to suspend disbelief.
Steve - December 28, 2011 - 12:48 am (USA Central Time)
TDexter - humans are clearly the dominant species of the Federation and it is therefore human-centric. I think a few trek episodes have touched on it. In Trek, humans tend to be the most adaptable of the sentient races whereas the rest seem "stuck in their ways".
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